


Seal them tight until there's nothing left for them to take

by V_Prime



Category: Sonic the Hedgehog (Video Games), Sonic the Hedgehog - All Media Types
Genre: Agender Character, Alien genitalia, Alternate Timelines, Angst, Angst and Humor, Bioweaponry, Choose your family, Dark, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fellatio, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn, Timeline Hopping, Trauma, Xenomorph - Freeform, confusing time bullshit, learning how to live again, non-canon, penussy, sexual integration, tragic backstory, yes shadow is the one with the alien junk in his alien trunk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-29
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:21:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 41,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22960885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/V_Prime/pseuds/V_Prime
Summary: Meridian the Hedgehog was the only one who could escape a mass extinction event—doing so by jumping across timelines and away from their own universe that was destined for death. Now, they have to learn how to survive in a world like nothing they've ever seen, and change the hand of fate itself to save their new friends.Meridian was powerless to save their old timeline. Now they must harness the courage they need, to turn a doomed world to one of hope.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 11





	1. The Good Doctor

**Author's Note:**

> Each chapter is (hopefully!) going to start with a relevant piece of art, just for visuals sake. Chapter 1 is Meridian and Sirel! Enjoy the story, and make sure you check the end notes~

Despite their time powers, Meridian could NOT see into the future. They had never thought it was a personal failing of theirs; nothing had ever happened that really shook them to their core, and as someone whose idea of time was as non-linear as it could get, they had never considered even trying to see the future. Everything could be fixed with time—at least, in their mind it could. 

After all, how many days had they spent in their closed-off apartment, healing from the mental and physical? More than they cared to count. When the very fabric of time could be bent to suit your needs, you’d never think the future could hold irreversible pain. 

Today was the day Meridian learned a valuable lesson: they were wrong. They were so, so wrong. The day had started like any other, until Dr. Bacillus—the oft-underestimated, cartoonish villain that claimed he would rule the world—unleashed a spread of virus unlike anything Chroma City had seen thus far. Worse still, he released it through the happy, jelly-like bodies of the chao that were so prevalent in all their lives, dropping infection down into the luscious green parks that made up most of the city. 

The chao became innocent vectors of death, spreading a virulent plague to any living thing they came in contact with. The symptoms started quickly, with a bright red rash that broke the skin. Soon after, blood would begin to pour; how fast you died depended on how quickly you could bleed out through your eyes or mouth. Now, Meridian stood in the center of the street in the late afternoon, rooted to the spot. On any other day, the light breeze and soft sunlight would make them feel at peace—but how could anyone be at peace standing among the ruin of everything they’ve ever known? 

Chao, the innocent children that held a soft spot in Meridian’s heart, dead wherever they looked; mobians, people Meridian had seen daily on their commute, lie collapsed on the ground, some in the throes of death and others only just beginning. So many screaming and bleeding from the eyes, still others begging for help—and Meridian had to put the nearby infected in stasis to keep them from touching their bare skin. Meridian was scared of any kind of contact, unsure what this disease was and how it spread—but they could take a guess that getting that infected blood on them would have to be one of them. If they got out of this alive, Meridian didn’t think they would ever be able to be touched by another mobian again. 

Survival was so far away, though… their apartment, their little safe room across the city. It would be a miracle if Meridian could make it, but as it was they could barely think; the acrid smell of blood was filling their brain while the pain all around filled their ears. What was the next step? What the hell was the next step when you were inches away from being infected yourself?

Unable to keep hold of them indefinitely, the frozen mobians behind Meridian were released from their stasis, crying as the pain came back in full—though they no longer tried to touch. Meridian tuned them out, begging themselves to concentrate on what they should do now. If they could just get to their apartment… they would have as much time as they needed to think, to make a plan, a plan that wouldn’t be completely stupid and get them killed like the ones they were thinking of right now with a brain full of fear. With a noise that set their teeth on edge, they conjured their time-whip and snapped it towards one of the sky rails, latching onto it and swinging forward, ready to ride above the lush green city to the other end of town. 

Though traveling on the sky rails by whip was an extremely fast route to their apartment, it also allowed Meridian luxury to see the devastation below them. Bright bodies shining like jewels in the sun, marred with dark, tarry blood. The tiny chao squealing in pain, living lesions dripping trails of… Meridian didn’t know, but they didn’t want to find out what (and how much) a chao bled. They were safe _enough_ on the sky rails, and other mobians seemed to have the same idea—Meridian could see others grinding on adjacent rails above the terror. 

With a sudden jolt, Meridian felt themselves fly forward, unexpectedly airborne; a panicking mobian had railed across their whip, breaking the crackling purple energy away from the metal. With a concentrated effort, Meridian flicked the whip at another rail, gritting their teeth as the inertia swung their body around in a circle, bringing them above the rail instead of below this time. They caught themselves and grinded on it like a normal mobian, glaring daggers at the speeding hawk on their previous rail. If Meridian had fallen, they could have died—breaking a bone and succumbing to the masses of sick below was all too real a possibility to them right now. 

Balancing properly this time, Meridian steeled themselves to look down at the massacre below once more, needing to find their bearings to get home; they could tell they were close already, seeing the familiar sights of their favorite chao garden—though they averted their eyes. A mass of bloodied chao crawling around wasn’t something Meridian wanted to see again. It was bad enough knowing that the “Patient Zeros” came from each of the chao gardens in the city, with their sickness spreading like wildfire to chao and mobians alike. Dr. Bacillus had carefully planted them—Meridian once again felt sick that they had underestimated the villain, though they were clearly not the only one. No one had stopped him, and now… 

Once again Meridian felt themselves flying through the air as someone pushed them out of the way on the rail, and this time there wasn’t another rail to catch themselves with. They shot towards a group of clearly infected, pained mobians standing on the blood-slicked paths. Desperate, Meridian snapped their whip out at the awning of a building, latching onto it and gliding into the wall instead of the group. 

Pain radiated through their body as they slammed against the bricks, but somehow hit the grass unscathed. Thinking the whip must have absorbed most of their impact, Meridian picked themselves up off the ground; they found that they were shaking with fear and anxiety being so close to the infected. The idea of becoming one of them scared Meridian more than they wanted to admit to themselves.

Brightly colored mobians Meridian recognized stared back at them, recognition in their own bloody eyes. Many of them looked on with sorrow, others yelled and tried to push Meridian away. The hedgehog felt forced to freeze them in place on instinct. “I’m not infected!” they croak. They hadn’t used their voice this whole time—what if the air was contaminated, and talking made it more likely to get sick? They knew nothing about this bioweapon, after all; for all Meridian knew, they were already dying. 

Instead of waiting around to be infected for sure, Meridian began to run through the groups of mobians and dodged around the bloody patches in the street; they saw more than one person succumb to the blood loss and collapse, more and more dreadful every time. Wanting to alleviate even a little bit of the fear, Meridian wanted to find another rail to hang onto… wanting to be above the carnage, wanting so badly to think clearly again. Not wanting to watch people they’d known sink down to their knees and vomit blood. Not wanting to watch innocent chao crying in pain, faces crumpled and contorted, when Meridian knew they had no understanding of what was even happening to them. The mobians, at least, could be comforted...

Meridian had never thought about their own mortality more than in this moment of pure, cataclysmic horror.

Feeling a stitch in their side from all the running, Meridian had to take a pause to steal precious breaths in the grass, wanting nothing more than to just lie down and give up. It would be so easy… and all the fear would end. Meridian was no stranger to physical pain, but the mental… they were wholly unused to dealing with this kind of terror. 

A bright purple jewel among the slaughter caught Meridian’s eye and interrupted their musing about succumbing; they registered a shiny crying chao—set apart from the rest by being pristine, unbloodied. It was crying in fear, not pain, though it wouldn’t be long until it was infected like everyone else Meridian had seen; there were dead and dying chao bumbling through the grass nearby.

Unthinking, Meridian turned their feet and they began running down the grassy alleyway instead of forward, cursing their bleeding heart for even chancing getting infected like this, for doing something so damn stupid—quickly, they snatched up the clean and crying chao among the bodies and blood. “Shh,” Meridian hushed them frantically. “It’s okay, it… ” Why? Why did they do that? Why did they grab this chao? It only now occurred to them—Meridian couldn’t ride the rails holding a chao this way, it was way too dangerous for the both of them. Someone would fall, or Meridian would be put off-balance; the hedgehog was barely able to keep hold of a bookbag on the rails, much less a squirming, living, breathing chao. It was going to be monumentally more difficult to get home at this rate. 

The worry, though, melted away as they steeled their resolve; this chao could survive, and Meridian could survive, and those thoughts of giving up would be put out of their mind. This chao was an innocent, one of the precious few untouched by the malice here, and it would be wholly unfair to allow it to come to harm now.

Holding on tightly, Meridian ran back to the main dirt road, their bloody boots finding the familiar path they’d walked so many times. They sprinted past mobians and chao alike, not stopping—until they slipped in a puddle of blood and fell to the ground; their newly acquired chao cried out as they bounced and rolled across the pavement, stopping near a clearly infected chao, and the dead, bloody body of a jewel-bright rabbit. “No!” Meridian shouted, reaching out, still too far away to use their powers, unable to stop either chao. 

A silent savior scooped up the bloody chao and held it to her chest, wearily comforting it with soft shushes. Her kind eyes were lined with pain, and blood stained the entirety of her dress; she was clearly in the later stages of the virus, judging by the inflamed lesions splitting her skin.

The doe stared down at Meridian in sad silence as the hedgehog stood up, tracking now-bloody footprints across the pavement to snatch up the frightened chao. They wanted to keep it far, far away from any of the patches of blood—the chao seemed so susceptible to this sickness. When Meridian looked up to thank the doe who had picked up the sick chao, they saw tears rolling down her face, and it made Meridian pause, shocked. Other mobians were watching now, all of them leaking blood from their eyes, their skin, their lips—anywhere blood could be expelled. They each picked up chao and backed away from the hedgehog and their charge that were miraculously clean and undamaged. “Go,” the female doe whispered. “Be safe and be well.”

There was now a way through the group, and Meridian only had to worry about the blood on the ground now. “... Thanks. Thank you,” Meridian said. “I’m… I’m sorry that… I’m just, sorry.” Meridian was moved by their compassion, and it clouded their brain as much as the terror from before did. Her arms were trembling much the same as Meridian’s; the chao in her arms wobbled with her. 

Taking the chance, not sure when they would get another, Meridian ran through the parted crowd. They made sure not to faceplant in blood this time, absolutely certain the chao would die next time it happened, somehow. They could only be safe if Meridian kept them safe. Finally, _finally_ they skidded to a stop in front of their apartment building, though it was with a measure of anger they registered the mobs of people already trying to get inside. To avoid them, Meridian pulled out their whip and lashed it to the balcony they knew to be their upstairs neighbor, bracing their feet dangerously against the wall and climbing slowly up until they could drop down to their own balcony.

Meridian slammed the door open and set the chao on the couch, where it feebly whimpered, though it was still mercifully unharmed. The sense of peace that usually came with being in their apartment didn’t exist anymore; Meridian couldn’t think about anything but the reality outside, even if they had an indefinite amount of time here. For now—they had time to at least think of a plan. 

A plan… actually, what kind of plan could help _this_? Meridian thought that if they could just get to their apartment… they were so focused on their goal that they hadn’t realized: this was beyond the scope of help. What could they possibly do? This violence was so beyond them and anything they could do with their power. 

_Was_ there anything Meridian could do? Maybe there was a glimmer of hope; they touched the crystals in their bracelet for the first time tonight. Always making them feel so powerful… could they do something with the crystals? Their eyes slid to the chao on the couch. No, probably not… not in this timeline. 

But maybe, just maybe—there was a chance, as small as it was. Meridian understood time better than anyone else, understood so many things about time and relativity that made their friends playfully wail and clutch their heads in mock pain if Meridian tried to explain it to them. Friends Meridian didn’t want to think about, not right now. Not if they were thinking of leaving. Remembering their friends would kill their resolve.

Pacing back and forth, Meridian stared at their violently-shaking hands. They’d never even attempted something on this scale, never thought about leaving their entire timeline behind—but what choice did they have? To take this chao back to the carnage outside? To themselves succumb to whatever virus Dr. Bacillus had spread? By all counts, this seemed far from recovery. It was just a matter of time until everyone was dead, wasn’t it?

The shaking somehow worsened, and Meridian decided to just do it before they lost their nerve. They scooped the chao up in their trembling arms and held it closely to their neck. “Hold on tight. I promise, I’ll keep you safe—just hang on.” As though understanding, the lilac chao nestled deep into Meridian’s neck. It let out a small whimper, but didn’t seem to be letting go. 

_Go back in time and put the chao garden in a time stasis._ Meridian repeated the phrase to themself, burning it in their brain, willing their past self to create a different thread in the multiverse, one they could jump to in the future, that is to say now. Knowing that they were leaving the new version of themself to die in the process, wondering what that would do to the new timeline, wondering how well reality would accept them in the other Meridian’s place.

As soon as they were certain a timeline had been created, they held on tightly to the chao and concentrated harder than ever before. They saw their form blur, before every atom in their being radiated in pain; Meridian couldn’t help it, they screamed. They had suspected reality would reject what they were doing, but didn’t expect the feeling of being lit on fire. The very essence of who they were, was rejecting what they were trying to do. 

With a loud shattering noise, Meridian fell to their knees on the sudden hot, hard ground beneath them. They clutched the chao with one hand, bracing themselves and spluttering with the other. There was something in their throat, something they needed to get out—and suddenly Meridian was vomiting what felt like their entire insides. More blood than they thought possible. When they could finally open their eyes, the sickening puddle was more than they thought could even be contained in their body… and what were those bloody chunks? Was that an _organ?_

Did… all that come out of them? This huge… _puddle_? This puddle with… Meridian wasn’t a doctor, they didn’t know anatomy, but surely these were organs. Were they infected after all? Or was this just… the other version of themselves dying? Surely it had to be that; Meridian would be dead if this was all their own blood and organs, there’s no way they could live without those. Unless.. by leaving their timeline, they had purged the sickness from themselves? The ringing in their ears subsided and they heard people shouting, felt a cool hand on their warm back. Meridian’s teeth chattered, and their skin crawled at the touch. “Don’t… don’t touch me,” Meridian whispered through the painful vibrating. 

The one touching them didn’t seem to hear it; they reached down to help Meridian stand up. “You need a hospital, c’mon,” they tugged gently. Meridian barely registered that half of the gems in their bracelets sported a large crack down the middle now. Instead of dwelling, they focused their purple eyes on the fox’s green ones. 

“I’m fine,” Meridian said faintly, ostensibly not fine. They glanced around at their surroundings, and now they were only rooted to the spot in shock. What…? Where were the parks, where were the sky rails— “What city is this?” 

“... Chroma City. You’re clearly not fine,” the fox tries again, but Meridian wasn’t listening anymore. The city was so different now… just how important were chao to their way of life? How much had changed simply because they were no longer common? Unable to bear the touch of the fox anymore, Meridian pulled themselves away, avoiding slipping in the wide puddle of viscera. 

The chao in the crook of Meridian’s arm wibbled quietly, quivering, and Meridian soothed it. “Shhh… shh, Sirel. Do you like that name? You’re fine, I promised you’d be fine. We’ll figure it out, it’ll be alright.” Subtly, they ensured the chao was unharmed—and they were grateful, that they didn’t at all seem blurry at the edges like Meridian did. 

Ignoring the fox, ignoring the mobians (was this even still mobius?), Meridian comforted Sirel and stared up at the enormous buildings, buildings hundreds of times taller than anything they had seen in Chroma City in their timeline. Meridian couldn’t tell if the mobians here were much duller than in their timeline, or if their perception of the world was just strange right now—with the way the edge of their own form was blurred right now, Meridian didn’t think it was outside the realm of possibility. It didn’t matter, not really, but so many things must have changed, and Meridian wanted to know what.

They could busy themselves with figuring that out, then; a goal would guide them, at least until they could think of the next step on this timeless, twisted journey they were on.


	2. A World Anew

It took a shameful amount of time for Meridian to realize why they were being given shocked looks, or stared at wherever they went. First, they thought that maybe everyone else could see their form blurring like wet ink on a page of reality they weren’t meant to be in; the idea was dismissed once the blurring stopped and the staring didn’t. 

Their second idea was that these new mobians weren’t used to seeing someone so bright; everyone Meridian passed was dull and drab in comparison to the loud jewel tones of everyone in the Chroma City Meridian had known before. It wasn’t until Meridian passed a tall building, polished bright like a mirror, that they realized why they were being stared at: they were positively covered in what could only be blood. All down their furred front, legs, boots—somehow, it had escaped Meridian’s notice. 

Where the hell could they go, though? Meridian had nothing, they had to build up from scratch; they didn’t even know where a public bathroom could be, because the city was completely different now. They didn’t know where they would be allowed to go. There were so many variables, too many unknowns… no money, no home, nowhere to go.

More than once, their decision seemed laughably stupid—no plan, just thoughtless fucking around with time. It’s only by remembering the carnage of their old home that Meridian could assure themselves they did the right thing. 

Even if everything was really, really hard now. 

As the night fell, less and less of the people milling around stopped to stare at Meridian, and they were grateful for this cloak of darkness. They could walk uninterrupted, even though they didn’t know where they were even going… it was the exhaustion that set in shortly after the sun began to rise that caused Meridian to pause, feet aching, with a cranky chao lightly smacking their shoulder blade. 

They needed food. They needed rest. They needed— _they needed whoever was touching them to stop._ Someone had grabbed their wrist, and on instinct Meridian jerked away from their strong grip, swallowing bile, trying not to remember the virulent plague they had only barely escaped from. Despite trying to pull away, the other kept a firm grip on Meridian’s wrist, and Meridian found themself compulsively putting them in stasis. 

They were frozen now, with an angry look on their face; one arm was extended, though it wasn’t wrapped around Meridian’s wrist anymore. “Please don’t touch me,” Meridian managed to spit out through their exhausted teeth. “Sorry, I’ll…” after backing up a step, they unfroze the dull red echidna, juggling the fussing chao in the crook of their arm. 

As soon as he was free, his gloved hand turned into a tight fist, like he wanted to take a swing at Meridian. “Where did you get that chaos emerald?” he demanded, using his other hand to point at the crystals in Meridian’s bracelet. He still looked like he wanted to hit Meridian. 

“A chaos—what even is that?” Meridian replied. It was just a power crystal... 

“Like hell it isn’t. Hand it over, hedgehog!” He tried to grab one of Meridian’s bracelets again, but the hedgehog sent a forceful kick with one of his crusted, bloody boots that sent the echidna flying backwards. 

Meridian did _not_ mean to kick him that hard; the echidna looked incensed as he began to pick himself off the ground, but Meridian found himself almost pleading with him as the sky lightened. “Look. I can’t deal with this right now, I really just… can’t. Take them, I don’t care. They’re just crystals.” Meridian sank to the ground, back against the brick, while they cradled Sirel against their chest. 

With a suspicious look on his face, the echidna put his foot on Meridian’s chest. “Stay right here, hedgehog. I need to figure this out.” He put up a finger, as though telling Meridian to pause, before pulling out a compact and calling someone on it. “Hey. Yeah, it’s Knuckles—Sonic, shut up, this is way more important than some new food vendor.” Knuckles glanced down at Meridian, who was trying to piece out if the name meant what they thought it did. “When did you last see the purple chaos emerald?” 

There was another pause as he listened to whoever was on the other end of the line. “Well, go check for me.” A pause. “Sure, you can send Tails to check. He can fly anyway, it’ll be faster. Yeah. Alright. Hanging up, Sonic—” and then the echidna hung up, snapping the phone shut. “You’d better hope that emerald is still intact at the shrine, hedgehog.” 

“Meridian. My name is Meridian.” The exhausted hedgehog smacked their head into the brick behind them. “I’m too tired to deal with this.” They didn’t even care that the echidna had his boot on them still—though Sirel was smacking at it, still cranky. 

“Got anything to do with the blood all over you?” Knuckles raised an eyebrow. “Might not want to fall asleep holding a chao, you know.” 

“...You know what a chao is?” Fear fluttered in Meridian’s chest; did it not work then? Did they just hop to another doomed timeline? From the look on Knuckles’ face—one that said Meridian was a moron, of course he knew what a chao was—that’s exactly what they expected happened. 

“Yeah.” Instead of calling Meridian an idiot, though, Knuckles lifted the boot off their chest, before sitting down next to the tired hedgehog. “May I?” he asked, holding his arms out towards the chao. Too tired to think anymore, too exhausted to allow the chao to continue beating up their shoulder, Meridian passed the chao to him wordlessly. Despite having comically large hands, they were surprisingly gentle with the chao—even when Sirel started hitting Knuckles’ hand now too. “Does it have a name?” 

“Yeah. Sirel,” Meridian said. They shut their eyes, wishing they could just melt away. Wishing they had let themselves vibrate to pieces instead of holding it together long enough to stabilize here, Sirel or not. _Some_ kind soul would have taken care of them, wouldn’t they..? “It’s a kind of flower where I’m from. Do you have them here?” 

“I wouldn’t know. Never been the type to like flowers.” Knuckles lightly bounced the chao on his knee, and Sirel started to calm down while they checked something on their compact. “Since we’re going to be seeing a lot of each other until Tails checks up on the chaos emeralds… what’s your deal?” 

“... What do you mean, ‘my deal’?” Meridian raised their hands to make air quotes around the word as they said it, even that small action taking a huge amount of effort. 

With an impatient sort of sigh, Knuckles gave Meridian a look they’re too tired to decipher. “Want the list? You’re covered in blood, you’ve got what I’m positive is a chaos emerald, you showed up in the middle of the city with a chao in your arms—and by the way, don’t think I didn’t catch that you think I shouldn’t know what a chao is, for some reason. Also, you lied to me; there’s no such thing as a sirel flower.” Knuckles waved the compact in his hand, and Meridian knew what they’d been looking up now. “Should I go on?”

Wow. “That’s quite a list... “ Meridian said, stalling for time while their exhausted brain caught up. “... Can we deal with it later? I’m very… tired.” Tired didn’t quite describe it, but Meridian didn’t know how to describe to this echidna how exhausted they were, down to their atoms. 

With a shrug, Knuckles stopped bouncing Sirel to rock them instead. “Sure. Do you have an apartment?”

“I do, it’s right—uh… actually, no I don’t.” Meridian hastily tried to cover their mistake. “Sorry. I used to, but I just… moved here. I was just going to get a hotel or something.” 

Snorting, Knuckles looked away towards the thicker part of the city. “You won’t get very far, you're downtown. All the hotels are probably booked for a week. Since I was going to keep an eye on you anyway, you can crash at my place. C’mon.” With his free hand, Knuckles pushed himself to a standing position, then offered a glove to Meridian. 

Hesitant, they took it and stumbled onto their feet, dropping his hand as quickly as they could. “I don’t care where you take me as long as I can sleep.” They wanted to ask how far away Knuckles’ apartment was, but the words never found them. 

“Sure you can. I’ll watch Sirel while you’re out.” Knuckles gripped Meridian by the arm and forcefully steered them to the sidewalk and down the street; it was all Meridian could do to pull away and walk on their own instead of letting Knuckles hold onto their arm.

The two of them walked for minutes, though it felt like hours to Meridian; they had no idea how close they were to Knuckles’ apartment before they collapsed to their knees again, the aches and pains of the last day finally getting to them. They fell forward just as Knuckles stopped to see what the hold-up was, and the echidna sighed. “What a hassle,” he muttered to Sirel, before he stooped down to pick Meridian’s battered and bloody body up. He slung them over his shoulder and continued walking to his apartment. 

It wasn’t long before Knuckles climbed the stairs and kicked the door open to his shared apartment. “Putting a passed out hedgehog in your bed, Sonic.” Knuckles walked right past the blue blur, heading towards his bedroom. 

“Wait, what? Why _my_ bed!?” Sonic jolted off the couch to intercept Knuckles. “Is that a chao?” The blue hedgehog poked at the baby chao, watching it jiggle.

“Yup. This guy,” Knuckles said, jostling Meridian a bit. “Was surprised I even knew what a chao was. He’s also covered in blood. Said his name is Meridian.” 

“He’s covered in blood so you’re putting him in _my_ bed.” Sonic crossed his arms, preventing Knuckles from walking any further. “You know you could put him on the couch, right?” 

Pretending to look thoughtful, Knuckles shifted Meridian on his shoulder. “I could, but the couch was expensive. Your bed is already on its last legs. Also, this guy looks like he needs a bed. Move, Sonic.” 

Sighing, Sonic dropped his arms and stepped out of the way, looking mopey. “I _guess_. You owe me, though.” 

“Kinda like how you owe Tails for checking on the emeralds for you?” Knuckles smirked and pushed the door to Sonic’s bedroom open, but the smirk fell off his face immediately at the messy floor and bed. “How do you even sleep in here, hedgehog?” 

“Comfortably!” Sonic yelled back while he settled onto the couch once more. Picking his way around the old cardboard and dirty clothes, Knuckles deposited Meridian onto the bed, threw a dingy blanket over them, then walked back to the living room. 

_Finally_ he could put the chao down. Knuckles dropped it onto the couch next to Sonic, then moved towards the kitchen. “Make sure it doesn’t fall off the couch,” he called out, maybe foolishly trusting Sonic to care for a living creature. 

“Uh, I guess,” came the reply. Sonic lazily clicked through channels on the TV, occasionally reaching over to pat the grouchy chao—getting smacked in the process, sometimes. “It bit me!” he yelled at one point, earning a low ‘shut up’ from the kitchen.

Knuckles busied himself collecting an assortment of fruits and nuts on a plate, bringing it back and setting it on the couch cushion next to them both. “Take your pick,” he told Sirel. The bad-tempered chao stopped trying to bite Sonic and instead started biting the juiced-up fruit in front of them. “I think it was just hungry, it was biting me the whole way back too.” 

“About that—” Sonic started. “What’s going on? Who is this guy? Why’s he got a chao? I thought Cream said they’re in some weird chao dimension that’s hard to get to.” Sonic stole a piece of grapefruit from the plate and tossed it into his mouth, peel and all. “Think he’s a criminal?”

“Well, he’s covered in blood, so… probably.” Knuckles pointed out. “I don’t care what he is, I care that he’s got a chaos emerald.” The echidna looked towards the door to Sonic’s room, like he expected their guest to wake up. “That being said, he didn’t seem to care that I told him I was going to follow him until I knew what was up.” 

The blue hedgehog chewed on his cheek thoughtfully. “How do you know it’s a chaos emerald?” Immediately, he knew he’d said the wrong thing. One of Knuckles’ well-aimed knuckles found his arm, and he let out a yelp, rubbing the sore spot. 

“It’s my _job_ to know, dipshit. I can sense the chaos emeralds.” Knuckles scoffed and walked back into the kitchen. “Want anything to eat?” 

“Uh, yeah!” All seemed forgiven in that moment, and the two roommates would carry on with their day as normal, only neither of them really wanted to leave the apartment. They didn’t trust the strange hedgehog that was still passed out cold (Knuckles checked), and the chao was a handful enough anyway. 

While Sonic was yelling for the umpteenth time about the chao climbing on him, and Knuckles was pacing with pent-up energy, Tails finally called—Knuckles, not Sonic, surprisingly enough. Picking up immediately, Knuckles said “Hey Tails.” 

The boisterous fox could hardly be heard over the roaring sound of the Tornado’s engine. “Hey Knuckles! I figured you were the one who wanted Sonic to check on the chaos emeralds, so I took the liberty of calling you directly inst—” 

“I don’t need the chatter, are they all there?” Knuckles asked impatiently. Normally he wouldn’t be such an asshole to Tails, but he’d been pacing all day waiting for _something_ to happen. 

Tails took the rudeness quite well. “Yup! They’re all there, and none of ‘em are fake—I ran a few tests, they’re as strong as ever. Their energy readings are all _exactly_ the same too, it’s amazing how connected they are. Why’d you wanna know, anyway?” Tails shouted over the roar of the plane’s engine. He sounded like he was flying over the ocean. 

With another glance back towards Sonic’s bedroom door, Knuckles said “It’s a long story. I know I’m not wrong about this, though. I’ll talk to you later, Tails—” Sudden inspiration struck Knuckles. “Hey, can you do that test on a chaos emerald and tell me if it’s fake?” 

“Sure can! I guessed it was something like that. I’ll bring my equipment over right away!” The fox sounded excited, and he was hitting so many buttons his hands were a blur; the Tornado sped up as Knuckles thanked him and hung up. 

“Tails is coming over,” Knuckles told Sonic. “He’s going to run tests on the hedgehog’s emerald.” 

“Think he’s dead in there?” Sonic asked. “I kinda don’t want to check.” He poked at the chao that was now trapped in a pen created from chairs, blankets, pillows, and couch cushions because it wouldn’t stop biting Sonic. 

“He’s fine.” Knuckles pinched the bridge of his nose. “Don’t be dramatic.” 

The two squabbled back and forth good-naturedly, as Meridian twisted themselves awake in a strange room, in a stranger’s bed, under a stranger’s blanket; they felt like they’d been hit by a military-grade truck. They felt grimy, and one of their hands felt their chest, remembering the blood crusting their fur. It came away wet and red; they were pouring sweat. 

Their nightmare… they remembered they were having a nightmare. Meridian remembered kneeling in a bloody street, picking up a crying chao. Meridian could still feel the tiny body in their fingers as it melted in gooey strings. They still felt the weight of it coating their hands, no matter how many times they swiped their palms across the ratty blanket.

Yesterday flooded back to them in bits and pieces, too many to begin to put together in the right order. They remembered Knuckles, they remembered the blood, they remembered their old home, they remembered Sirel—where was Sirel? Was the nightmare truly a memory…? Did Sirel make it?

Throwing themselves out of bed, Meridian ran to leave, only to trip over something and crash to the floor with a loud clunk. They swore loudly, and Sonic and Knuckles couldn’t help grinning at one another. “Someone’s awake,” Sonic snickered, as the other hedgehog staggered out of the room. 

“Where’s Sirel?” Meridian said immediately. When they spotted the chao beating a toy car against the carpet, relief flooded their face. “... Thanks,” 

“How are you feeling?” Knuckles asked. He guessed they probably felt like shit, though, judging by the way they seemed completely out of it. 

Scooping up the chao from its containment unit, Meridian took a few moments to answer. Now, in proper light, after they'd gotten sleep, Meridian could actually see Sirel properly. They were a gorgeous lilac color, and a shiny variant at that; they had bold purple and green stripes on their nubby fists, and green markings around their eyes that looked like glasses. “Like I need a shower and therapy. Thanks for bringing me here… it probably wasn’t your first choice.” 

Knuckles pointed at the bracelets around their wrists. “It was for those, mostly. The shower is down the hall, to your left.” 

“Aren’t you gonna ask him what the hell is going on?” Sonic blurted out. “Or are we just going to ignore the huge elephant in the room?” 

“... They, not he.” Meridian put Sirel back down in their prison and awkwardly rubbed one of their aching arms. “I really, really need a shower.” 

“Will you tell us after, then?” Sonic’s endless curiosity was getting the better of him; Knuckles was clearly about to aim another punch at him. 

“I guess. I don’t know what I’m doing anymore.” Sighing, Meridian pulled the bracelets off their wrists, then unzipped their boots to slip them off. “Here. I don’t think they’re 'chaos emeralds', but you can… I don’t know, look at them, if that’s what you’re after.” They held them out to Knuckles.

It was sort of surprising that they were giving up their (fake?) emerald so easily. Knuckles took the bloody accessories and dumped them into Sonic’s indignant arms. “Take a shower, then explain everything. We’re no strangers to weird, so don’t worry about that.” 

“... Okay.” A grateful Meridian stumbled their way towards the bathroom, nearly collapsing into the shower; they turned the water on full-blast hot, groaning when the burning water torched their skin and fur. The crusted blood loosened and washed down the drain like a dark river. 

A shower had never, ever felt so good. Meridian’s tired muscles ached, so they sat on the floor, leaning their head against the wall. They could just… use their powers to stay in here forever, if they wanted; they could spend years and years in here and come out like it never happened. They were so used to retreating into their apartment to take as much time as they wanted—if they didn’t want to go to school, or if they wanted more time to do something. It was so convenient at times… 

Meridian owed Knuckles and his friend an explanation, though. There was an endless amount of time to make a plan later, but Meridian needed to repay their debt first. Besides, Knuckles could tell them more about this place as long as Meridian told them the truth about where they came from. Having friends here would be a lot more helpful than brooding in the shower for a year. 

Glancing up, Meridian noticed the bottles of body wash, wondering if Knuckles would be pissed if they used some. He wasn’t the most friendly, but… it was body wash. Weighing the pros and cons, Meridian stood up and started sniffing the various bottles, seeing which were offensive to their nose and which smelled sweet. They skipped the sharp smelling, earthy one in the black bottle; it didn’t smell all that nice. The woody, clean one smelled a bit better, but Meridian decided to use the one that smelled musky and floral instead. 

It felt nice to get clean and wash away the grime of the old, bloody Chroma City they knew. Meridian felt less like a stranger here now that they weren’t exhausted, dirty, and terrified; maybe they would get stared at less, now—but Meridian still thought they might stand out like a beacon, considering their quills were a bright cyan blue. 

Back home, that wasn’t unusual… but Meridian hadn’t seen anyone here who looked at all like them. They felt so out of place... as they lathered the body wash into their fur, Meridian forced the thoughts of not belonging out of their head; they wouldn’t help, Meridian couldn’t go back. This was the changed timeline, the old one was doomed and that was that. They got the bad ending. Meridian was lucky to get a second chance, when so many others had died. 

So why did Meridian feel like crying?

They let the tears fall while they rinsed the heady product from their fur, then turned the shower off when it started to lose heat. Meridian squeegeed the water from their fur to dry themselves as best they could, then they awkwardly fumbled around in the cabinet near the shower for a towel. 

It wasn’t long until Meridian was as dry as they could get their mass of quills to be without yanking them out. Hanging the soggy towel up on a convenient shower hook, Meridian left the bathroom and awkwardly poked their fluffed up, mussy head into the living room. Knuckles and Sonic were examining the pieces of the purple crystal that Meridian had, talking quietly amongst themselves. “Is it okay that I hung the towel up in there?”

The two looked up from the table towards the lightly-dripping hedgehog, but it was Sonic who immediately shrugged and said “No, who cares about where you put the towel??” Meridian stepped into the living room, seeming much less tense than before—but still seemed strained at the edges. 

“ _I_ care where you put the towel,” Knuckles countered. “Sonic throws them on the floor. Hung up is fine. Want to start talking now?” The echidna scooted over to allow room between him and Sonic. Meridian silently sat in the newly-vacated seat, drawing their arms in to keep from bumping elbows with either of them. Sirel was still happily throwing toys at the blanket barrier Sonic set up.

“... I’m not sure where to start,” Meridian admitted. “It’s hard to think of a beginning here.” They leaned over to pick Sirel up and set them in their lap, feeling somewhat soothed. 

“Maybe we can start with some questions. Where did you get those?” Knuckles pointed at the table, where Meridian’s bracelets and boots were piled together. 

Meridian avoided answering by staring down at the chao in their arms. Already, a hard question… “I found them,” Meridian admitted. “There was an old aquarium I’d go to, and there were power crystals just sort of… around. I was there so much that I eventually found these small ones scattered, so I took them and used them.” 

“Used them for what?” Sonic asked. He kicked back and put his feet up on the coffee table in front of them, earning a facial twitch from Knuckles. He looked like he wanted to shove Sonic’s feet off the table, but he settled for listening to Meridian instead.

“My powers. They made me stronger, so I… used them. Not for anything bad," Meridian corrected hastily as they looked at Knuckles. They recalled the enormous pink crystal in the aquarium’s cavern, and the body inside it… “There were things I couldn’t do, even though I tried. It’s just a power crystal… I don’t know how to prove it’s _not_ a chaos emerald, or whatever that is.” They shrugged helplessly, looking away from either of them. 

“Let me see…” Knuckles muttered. He picked up one of the boots and inspected the top that housed the crystal. With his strong, massive hands, he ripped the metal from where it was sewn to the pleather and dropped the bloody boot back onto the table. In his hand he held the (slightly bent) ring that shaped the top of the boots. Then Knuckles pried the crystal out of the setting and threw the metal back onto the table with a ringing _clang_. 

“What kinda powers do you have? _I_ can run faster than the speed of light, because I’m the coolest.” He gave a thumbs up and a wink while Knuckles busied himself with prying out the gems. 

Shuffling Sirel to their other arm, Meridian wondered how they were supposed to explain their time powers. “... It’s complicated. I can stop time, and… other time stuff.” 

“Whoa. That’s cool! Not as cool as me, but cool. Can you see the future?” Sonic stopped leaning back against the couch to lean into Meridian instead—and on instinct, Meridian panicked and froze him in a time stasis before he could touch them. Sonic’s blue body was now surrounded by a crackling purple energy field, and he was quiet. 

“Oh thank chaos,” Knuckles said, sitting back in relief. There was a knock on the door. “Can you keep him like that? Him and Tails in one room is too much for _anyone_. Come in!” He yelled towards the door, and a dull yellow two-tailed fox bounced into the room. Meridian shook their head and unfroze a now-dazed Sonic.

“Hi, Knuckles! Hi, Sonic!” Tails waved at them. The two tails behind him twitched around as he dropped a duffel bag onto the table, and Meridian could guess why he was called Tails. 

“When did Tails get here?” Sonic asked, confused. He ran a gloved hand through his quills, trying to shake the strange feeling that he missed something.

“Just now! Who’s the new guy with a chao?” Tails asked, jerking his head towards Meridian. “I’m Tails!”

“... My name is Meridian.” They gave a half-hearted wave, but held Sirel tighter to their chest. “... Can you tell me why you know what chao are? I thought that no one would.” 

“What a weird question!” Tails said cheerfully. He started pulling various electronic devices and equipment from the duffel bag as he spoke, and Knuckles set to removing the rest of Meridian’s power crystals from their settings. “True, they’re hard to get to, but not _that_ hard if you’re capable of interdimensional travel.”

“Not something us knuckleheads would understand,” Sonic said sarcastically. “I remember Cream said something about the chao being in a weird dimension, but I don’t know how _she_ got there.”

“Because she’s smart!” Tails’ tails twitched and he finished setting up his equipment on the table. He swept Meridian's boots to the floor, and the hedgehog picked them up to start slipping them back on. Even though they didn't have their crystals anymore... they felt like home. “It’s actually pretty awesome, if you think about it. They’re in a dimension that’s _inside_ our own!” 

“No one here is going to understand that, buddy.” Sonic snorted and elbowed Meridian, who flinched. “Right?” 

“Actually… I understand it perfectly.” Meridian frowned down at Sirel, as though the chao were the cause of their problems. “Since you’ll find out anyway… I’m the one that put the chao gardens in a time stasis.”

The light chatter between Sonic and Tails, the clattering of fist and metal as Knuckles fucked around with the shards, the light thump of Sonic’s foot bouncing against the wooden table, all of it stopped instantly and left a void of silence. Meridian counted seven heartbeats before anyone spoke. “What?” 

It was Knuckles that spoke first, then Tails. “How? That had to have happened centuries ago!” He didn’t seem to disbelieve Meridian; he leaned towards the hedgehog, eyes bright, seeming more excited than he had before if that was even possible. “You said you have time powers—does that mean interdimensional or extradimensional time travel?”

“Dumb it down for the rest of us, you two!” Sonic scoffed and started jittering his leg again. His arms crossed and he glared at them, daring them to keep talking in big terms. Even Knuckles seemed lost, even though he was normally so capable. 

“... Both? I… guess.” Meridian shrugged, feeling trapped by the people surrounding him. “I didn’t think I could travel to a new dimension until recently.” 

“How recently?” The excited fox was nearly vibrating with exhilaration.

“A day or two ago. I came here from another timeline.” Meridian clutched Sirel closer to their chest, suddenly standing up. “I can’t sit here surrounded by you three, I feel like I’m suffocating.” Meridian stepped over Sirel’s jail cell to pace somewhere they couldn’t feel the body heat of another person searing their skin.

The three of them were backing up, with Sonic mumbling apologies and Tails nodding, then continuing his interrogation. “So why’d you come to our timeline? I’m really happy you’re here, but isn’t it your home?” 

Involuntarily, Meridian felt their eyes sting. The hand not holding Sirel tightened into a fist, and Sirel made an annoyed cry that had Meridian set them down in their prison again; if only to avoid the tears and the question. They were all looking at them though, and Meridian still felt indebted to them. “It was my home. There was a.. plague. By the time I left, I didn’t see anyone who wasn’t infected, except me and Sirel. I found them right before I left.” Meridian shoved their palms against their eyes, hoping the pressure would suck the tears back in, but only succeeded in making themselves look like they were crying. 

Sonic and Tails looked at each other, wondering if someone should comfort the hedgehog. Knuckles is the one who stood up and and took the chance; he remembered what Meridian had done to Sonic, but Sonic was fine, so it can’t have been that bad. He hugged the hedgehog roughly with one arm, and Meridian _almost_ froze him, but they had too many feelings going on to care just this once. Instead, they made a choked sound in their throat and tried to stay in the moment. “It’s okay,” Knuckles said, surprisingly gentle. “I don’t blame you for wanting to get out of there. What happened?” 

Tails looked like he was about to explode with questions, but Sonic reached over to put a hand on his shoulder and shake his head. The fox’s tails drooped, but he nodded and waited for Meridian to finish. 

“Everything was fine that morning. Dr. Bacillus dropped a bioweapon in the chao gardens and by afternoon, the whole city was infected.” They gritted their teeth and pushed their palms harder into their eyes, as though that would erase their memories. “I was lucky… but I couldn’t keep counting on luck. I managed to create this timeline, then—” 

Unable to hold back anymore, Tails exploded with a question, ignoring Sonic’s hissing. “What do you mean, created this timeline?” 

“How much do you know about quantum physics?” Meridian countered his question with a question of their own. 

While Knuckles and Sonic both simultaneously said “Nothing”, Tails bounced on his feet. “A lot! You’re gonna talk about interpenetrating dimensions, right?” 

“Right.” Taking a shuddering breath, Meridian pulled their hands away from their eyes. “I made a decision to go back in time and put the chao gardens in time stasis, which created a new timeline—your timeline—” 

“Why the chao gardens?” Tails couldn’t help himself. He started running away from Sonic, who was running after him to make him shut up. Instead of trying to outrun the fastest thing in the room though, Tails simply flew up to the high ceiling and hovered there where Sonic couldn’t reach. 

“Tails!” Sonic lamented. Meridian ignored their shenanigans, instead ducking lightly under the arm Knuckles still had around their shoulders. Knuckles (who couldn’t keep up with this science bullshit) was wondering why Meridian smelled like his girlfriend—deciding they must have used her body wash in the shower. 

“Dr. Bacillus used the chao to spread the plague. I thought I could create a safe timeline if I took the chao out of the equation.” Meridian sighed. “It worked, but… everything is different.” 

“Why were you covered in blood?” Sonic couldn’t help asking. 

“... I’m not sure. I started puking up blood when I got here. My theory is that two of me can’t exist in one timeline, so one of me died. Otherwise, the other version of me would be in the chao garden still, since time doesn’t pass there.”

“This is so cool!” Tails said, gliding down from the ceiling. “Um… not what happened to you. I’m sorry… I meant what you can do! The emerald you have _must_ be real, then! Only a chaos emerald can bend space-time like that!” He turned to start putting together the shards of emerald while Meridian shook their head. Soon, there was a whole emerald in his hands. 

“I told you… it’s a power crystal.” As soon as they finished, the machine Tails set up on the table made beeping computer sounds, and spat out a long coil of paper. 

“It’s real!” Tails said immediately, waving the paper around to everyone in the room who would let him. “The energy signature is exactly the same as the emeralds at the shrine! Um... actually, it's specifically resonant with the master emerald... I wonder what an eighth chaos emerald means for the balance of power?" he mused, while Meridian looked flabbergasted. 

“So… what now?” Meridian asked. "What does having a chaos emerald mean...?

“It means we’ve got to tell the rest of our friends!” Tails said. “Shadow would want to know most of all.”

“Let’s get you something to eat,” Knuckled interrupted Tails. "You were asleep for a while.” He started to shoo Meridian into the kitchen while Tails pulled out his phone to call their friends together once more.


	3. Itchy Trigger Finger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meridian meets the gang.

While Knuckles heated up some leftovers from the fridge, Meridian sat at their worn plywood table. They hadn’t realized how hungry they were until Knuckles asked if they wanted leftover spaghetti, and their stomach answered for them faster than their mouth could. Awkwardly, they let their fingers trail across the wood, glancing around every now and again, taking note of the tiny kitchen. Small table, small counters, two chairs… Meridian could smell the bubbling sauce in the microwave before it even beeped, a loud and almost painful sound.

Knuckles set the seething bowl of pasta in front of Meridian before seating himself across from them; he seemed content with the silence in the air, and Meridian felt grateful that he didn’t seem to need to fill a silence the same way Sonic did. Meridian had no expectations, didn’t need to come up with explanations, they had nothing to think about except the shitty box pasta that tasted like everything that had ever been inside the fridge in the corner. Quietly, they ate (slightly acrid) spaghetti, while Knuckles drummed his fingers against the cheap wood and stared at his cell phone. 

As content as _they_ were with the silence, Meridian now felt awkward after a few minutes, like maybe Knuckles _wasn’t_ as okay with it as they were. Shouldn’t they get to know him…? Meridian didn’t know Knuckles all that well… maybe they could change that, if they started a conversation. He seemed like a nice guy… Clearing their throat a bit, Meridian tried for small talk. “Doing anything interesting?” They set their elbows on the table, hoping Knuckles didn’t find that rude.

Barely looking up, Knuckles gave them a half-hearted shrug. “Just filling the rest of the group in on what you’ve told us so far. Sonic is bad with details, and Tails doesn’t know how to stick to one point for longer than ten seconds.” Knuckles tapped on the phone like he was showing Meridian what he was doing; Meridian could see the telltale bubbles of a group chat whizzing by, but they couldn’t make out distinct words, other than there was a _lot_ of them.

It made sense to Meridian that he was filling in his friends on what they’d done. Meridian’s cheeks burned with shame and they contemplated the pasta that smelled and tasted like too much oregano, while a new question bubbled up in their mind. “So, who all is in this group..? Is it a sort of... neighborhood watch?” Honestly, they acted like they were superheroes or something. Though with the meddling Meridian had done, maybe this timeline needed superheroes… their hand gathered into a fist of its own accord, and Meridian’s hand quavered.

Something Meridian said must have been funny to the echidna because he snorted out a laugh that made his locs shake; he put the phone face-down on the table to address Meridian properly. “I guess you could say that. We’re also friends—mostly. Sonic and Shadow fight more often than they blink, and Amy gets on Rouge’s nerves.” Like he was remembering Meridian didn’t know who those people were, he clarified. “Amy is Sonic’s on-and-off girlfriend, Rouge is _my_ girlfriend. Then there’s Silver, he likes to get involved in everything, and Blaze is his overprotective girlfriend so she’ll be there too. There’s others, like Espio, Big, and Cream, but they probably won’t be coming over.” 

Meridian’s fist buzzed with tension, enough that they thought it might break, as impossible as it was. They stared back down at their half-empty bowl and tried to loosen their fist. “How much more am I going to have to explain to them..?” They were already dreading the long talk, the fight to hold back their own tears, the burning shame they felt was always broiling up under the surface, fighting to escape. 

It must have shown on Meridian’s face, because Knuckles’ normally gruff, quiet voice got surprisingly gentle. “Anything you haven’t told us already. It’s important. Buuuuuut,” Knuckles dragged out the word, pondering. “If you don’t want to, you can just tell me in here and _I’ll_ do the talking.” He smirked, then. “It’s always me talking anyway.” 

The relief Meridian felt snuffed out some of the anxiety, and they could breathe again; they hadn’t even noticed the tightness in their chest making them almost pant. “I think I already told you everything… everything important, anyway.” Meridian tried not to let themselves fall prey to the guilt they felt again. They looked up at Knuckles. “I don’t know… what else is important?” Meridian was _almost_ startled that they’d never noticed that Knuckles’ eyes were almost the exact same shade as their own, a gorgeous amethyst color. Though their coats were dull compared to what Meridian was used to, the people in this timeline had eyes as bright as ever. 

Knuckles didn’t seem to notice or care about this revelation; he shrugged and idly scratched at the table with one sharp nail, not paying attention to how deep the gouge was—maybe because there were so many similar cuts and gouges in the worn wood. “Not sure. I’m more concerned about the chaos emerald you brought with you. Not so much about you coming here, that’s a non-issue.”

Meridian still didn’t know what a chaos emerald was. “... I understand,” they said quietly, wanting to leave it at that, but their mouth had other ideas. “I wish I hadn’t come here,” Meridian blurted out their confession before they could stop themselves. They pushed their empty bowl towards the center of the table, cheeks burning in shame as Knuckles looked up to regard them. 

Knuckles’ face betrayed nothing. “Why’s that?” He asked. One finger began to tap the table again. With his other hand he flicked the spoon in the empty bowl, and Meridian wondered if he was one of those people who always needed to be doing something with their hands.

“I’m just causing the rest of you problems. I don’t belong in your timeline… who even knows what I’ve screwed up by being here...?” Meridian wrung their hands, fretting. “And… this place is so much different. I don’t know what to….”

They didn’t expect Knuckles to scoff as they trailed off. “We’ve dealt with bigger stuff than an out of place hedgehog. The eighth chaos emerald could be a problem, but I can’t imagine you being here will make a difference. Relax—you did what you had to do. It’s over. Focus on your new life and we’ll handle the rest.” 

“Is that what you guys do? Fix all the bad stuff?” Meridian stood up to start rinsing their bowl in the sink, feeling too much nervous energy to sit still—and wanting to be a polite houseguest to the people who had been so nice to them so far. The taps took a little bit of effort to turn, but Meridian soon figured out how to make the water hot enough to scrub.

Maybe they used more soap than might have been necessary, maybe they scrubbed the bowl a little too hard, but Knuckles didn’t seem to care. “Yeah. It wasn’t too long ago that we stopped Shadow’s prototype lizard—long story—from destroying the planet—even longer story. And Silver insists we fixed him and Blaze’s timeline, but none of us know what in chaos he’s talking about. Maybe you can talk to him about that,” the echidna said, with an obvious chuckle. “You seem to get the whole timeline thing better than any of us.”

“I’m done messing with timelines… but if you’d like me to talk to him and make sense of his story, I don’t mind.” Meridian dried their bowl with a paper towel and slid it back into the cabinet they saw Knuckles take it out of. “When is this… meeting going to happen?” 

Tapping his phone screen, Knuckles shrugged. “Probably right now. It’s been an hour since Tails decided we all needed to cram ourselves in my tiny apartment. Why the hell we can’t go to Shadow and Rouge’s place, I’ll never know. They own the damn house,” Knuckles grumbled, standing up and stretching. Meridian caught a whiff of the earthy, herbal body wash they passed on while they were showering, and they wondered whose soap they used.

His bones popped and cracked audibly in the silent moment. Meridian leaned against the counter, gripping the scratched ceramic in their hands. “You can go ahead and explain things to them. I’ll… join you in a minute.” 

Their eyes met again, and Meridian silently pleaded for some time to prepare for the huge crowd they could sense there. “Yeah sure. Don’t hurt yourself, kid.” Knuckles snorted and left Meridian to pull themselves together in the kitchen. They could hear voices in the next room—Tails’ high pitched tones, a _very_ deep, unfamiliar baritone that made Meridian’s stomach flip, the twang of Sonic’s indescribable cadence, and some others Meridian couldn’t possibly place unless they went in there to introduce themselves. 

It felt so wrong. 

Standing in their kitchen— _intruding_ in their kitchen. What right did Meridian have to be here? What right did Meridian have to encroach on their timeline? Sirel was innocent in all this, but Meridian knew what they were doing when they came here. The problem was the same one Meridian had felt over and over; they didn’t think before they made a huge decision. It wasn’t even impulse, they just never thought about the impact something could have until after they’d done it. 

A thought crossed Meridian’s mind that chilled them to the bone; they avoided death. Narrowly, but they avoided it, where so many others they knew didn’t or couldn’t. What if death was going to come for them no matter what? What if it unleashed another plague? Maybe there were some things that just couldn’t be avoided, and Meridian painted a target on everyone here. 

It would have been better to die, Meridian realized that now. Instead of running like a coward, like they always did. Maybe they could fix it still, and make things right by taking their “chaos emerald” and going back to their own timeline, go back to before they came here… they could die, and leave this timeline alone. They _had_ to, for everyone’s safety. 

As the idea formed in their mind, the apartment suddenly shook with earth shattering quakes that sent Meridian to their knees. Dishes fell out of the cabinet, breaking on the floor, and Meridian shielded their head from the sudden onslaught. Something broke against their back, and they felt wetness run down their side. “Wait, wait!” Meridian yelled, panicked. What in chaos did they do _now_? “Give me a second to think!” They shouted, forgetting the people in the other room. 

It started when they… oh. _Oh._ Meridian had technically created this timeline, so if they go back in time to die, then… Meridian had basically fucked them over no matter what, then. Everyone. Not able to live, not allowed to die. They’d irrevocably intertwined themselves somewhere they had no business being.

They couldn’t mope for too long, though; as the shaking faded away, people streamed into the kitchen, most of them confused, a couple of them concerned, but Meridian felt stifled and embarrassed. “Ohmygod, are you okay?” A pink hedgehog asked, wide-eyed. “Sonic, where’s your first aid kit!?” 

She knelt down next to Meridian and moved to put her hand against their side, but Meridian sat up and pushed her hand away. “I’m okay, it was just… a scratch.” Meridian put a hand to their side to staunch the flow, before looking up at the gathered crowd. 

So many eyes, and all of them on Meridian. They saw Knuckles, next to a bat with white fur and tan skin. They both looked concerned, while Sonic looked confused. “Amy we don’t _have_ a first-aid kit.” 

“I don’t need one,” Meridian repeated. They struggled to their feet, looking morosely at the mess around them; broken plates and cups crunched beneath their bloodied boots, and the gash in their side and hands were marring the vinyl tiles with fresh droplets. Every pair of eyes watching them made Meridian feel small and worthless. 

Everyone could see how out of place they were. They didn’t even look like any of these people; the pink hedgehog still fretting over them was the brightest one of the bunch, and even _she_ was nowhere near as brightly colored as Meridian was. The silvery-white one standing on their tiptoes to see ‘the action’ was even a drab grey compared to the white fur Meridian was used to seeing. 

They were like a neon sign warning people to stay away… or a poisonous animal warning others— _do not eat. Danger._ Don’t interact. How could they ever walk around and feel at home in this dark, drab city that _claimed_ to be Chroma City?

Meridian’s self-loathing thoughts were suddenly interrupted by one of the group not-so-gently grabbing them and shoving them against a wall; suddenly face-to-face with a grey-and-red blur, their mind went blank. “Quit fucking with our timeline.” they demanded, a burning in their eyes as they pulled them forward and slammed Meridian back against the wall again. Meridian’s heart pounded beneath their hand as blood gently seeped through their fingers. 

“Shadow! Leave the poor thing alone!” The bat skipped towards them, putting a hand on her waist. “Haven’t they been through enough? I’m Rouge, by the way—Rouge the bat! This tall, _murky_ glass of pond water is Shadow.” She winked, fluttering her wings a bit, but she didn’t pull Shadow off of Meridian. Chaos, Meridian wasn’t even sure she _could_. Even under the fur, Meridian could tell how stacked Shadow was. 

“I don’t care, Rouge. Some hedgehog with a chaos emerald isn’t going to ruin the timeline. I didn’t let Silver do it and I’m not letting this one do it either.” Shadow never took his red eyes off Meridian, keeping them trapped in this corner. 

“While I understand that,” Meridian started, quietly, ignoring the light grey hedgehog’s indignant noise from the back of the group. They had to clear their throat. “I’m not trying to— so ...Please quit touching me.” Meridian didn’t want to piss this guy off even more, even though the heat radiating from his hand left a buzzing under their skin that ate through them like acid. 

The group watched them, worried, and Rouge put her hand on Shadow’s shoulder. She seemed to be trying to convince him to move, but he ignored them all. “What did you just do?” 

“I don’t actually _know_ what I did, now get off me.” Meridian lifted their bloody hand up and pushed Shadow’s gloved hand away, but the dark grey hedgehog punched the wall next to Meridian’s head; they felt the plaster crack, and heard Knuckles grouch something about paying for it. 

Meridian was not about to sit there and get punched by someone. They were already mentally punching themselves enough, they didn’t need help. Heart fluttering, they froze Shadow in time and almost ran to the other side of the tiny kitchen, the side with the least amount of people. Even though it was the worst time to notice, Meridian caught a whiff of the body wash they used come from Rouge; mystery solved, they supposed.

Shadow was still standing where Meridian left him, with a staticky purple film clinging to his form like a bubble. Meridian felt shaky, holding their side again as everyone stared at them again. “Um, what did you do to Shadow?” Amy asked. 

“Same thing they did to Sonic earlier.” Knuckles leaned against the doorframe, glancing at Shadow. “He’s going to be pissed.” 

“You did _what_ to me?” Sonic asked. 

It was Rouge who laughed. “Oh, he’ll get over it. I quite like him like this—not so mean, and you can _definitely_ admire his form.” She tittered and hopped up to sit on the counter, considering they were running out of floor space with all the people crammed in the kitchen. 

“It’s… time stasis, I suppose. I froze him in time. I just don’t… like to be touched,” Meridian said. They felt sticky and bloody and gross, and it reminded them too much of the state of their home. “I’ll fix it... sorry.” Meridian unfroze Shadow, and to his credit he only seemed confused for a split second before he whirled around to glare at Meridian. 

“So you can chaos control,” Shadow said, and Rouge tittered at him again. 

“I don’t even know what that—stop!” Meridian ducked as Shadow nearly punched them in the face, stumbling to the side, off-balance. Their reflexes weren’t up to snuff when Shadow took them by surprise before, but now they stopped him in his tracks with a stasis time out once more. 

“Can we just keep him like that?” Sonic asked, hopeful. “He could be like furniture. Can you imagine him as a coat rack?” Tails joined him and Rouge in laughter while Meridian crossed to the other side of the room once more, away from Shadow, more towards Amy. 

“As awesome as that would be, I don’t think we can do that.” Amy sighed and waved her hand dismissively. “I’ll smack him with my hammer if he tries that again.” 

“Don’t be too upset at him, dear. He’s particularly _sensitive_ to potential threats.” Rouge stretched her hand up and patted Meridian on the head, saying “Oops,” when they winced. “Not to mean that _you’re_ a threat, sweetie. _He_ just _thinks_ you are, but _he’s_ often wrong. Think of him like an overexcited chihuahua.”

“... Noted.” Meridian sighed and unfroze Shadow. “Before you attack me again, can we… talk? I’m not trying to screw up your timeline.” 

“Actually, they made our timeline,” Knuckles said casually. “If you want to be technical.” 

“Yeah! Isn’t it cool?” Tails tugged on Silver’s arm. “We have someone to nerd out about extradimensional time travel!” Shadow whirled around again while they were chattering, making a fist and stalking towards Meridian, but he didn’t swing yet. 

“Okay. Talk, hedgehog.” He crossed his arms, standing way too close to Meridian again, but at least he wasn’t touching. Yet. “Where did you come from?”

They felt themselves shrinking and melting with fifteen eyes on them, all waiting in anticipation. “I—I don’t… I don’t want to talk about—” Meridian swallowed. “I think I know what happened just now, or.. I have a theory, anyway.” 

“Shadow, they’ve been through hell. Arguably something worse than what _you_ went through, so cut them some slack, for chaos’ sake.” Knuckles pushed themselves off the wall. “I already said I was going to brief everyone, quit harassing him. Them, sorry.” 

“Fine.” The angry lines around Shadow’s eyes softened, just a little. “Tell me what just happened, then.” 

Meridian’s cheeks burned in shame. “I was wondering… if it would be better for me to take my power crystal and… leave. Go back to my old timeline and die where I was supposed to, instead of coming here. When I decided to do that, this timeline must have…” 

Unable to contain himself any longer, Tails exploded. “The timeline must have started to collapse because you created a time paradox!” Tails burst out. “Which poses an interesting question—” 

Talking over Tails, Shadow stepped just a bit closer to Meridian. “Then I guess you aren’t going anywhere, hedgehog.” 

“My name is Meridian,” they said, feeling a boldness that died as quickly as it came. “Back—back away from me.” 

“Or what?” Shadow scoffed. “I’m not afraid of someone who can chaos control. I can run circles around Sonic and Silver, what can you do?” Shadow reached out their bloody hand to shove Meridian, and finally they fractured. 

“I said don’t touch me!” They snapped at Shadow. For the third time, they froze him in place, but this time Meridian gripped the air and pulled their whip out. As Rouge lurched forward, Meridian wrapped the lash of it around Shadow and pulled it tight—freezing Rouge in place too as she tried to put her hand on Meridian to stop them. 

Finally unfreezing Shadow (and Rouge) once more—as the rest of the group took various ‘battle stances’—it was Meridian’s turn to get in _his_ personal space. “I said, don’t touch me,” Meridian told them. “It’s not chaos control, it’s freezing time. There’s a difference,” Meridian said lowly. Then they shoved a snarling Shadow away, into the counter—feeling their heart drop when the red and black hedgehog effortlessly fell through the cheap ceramic and plywood, becoming mired halfway in the cabinet.

It was their worst nightmare, come to life—again. Shadow growled and strained himself, trying to move, but one hand was halfway through ceramic, while the other stuck out at a wrong angle. His mouth was covered with the counter top, so he couldn’t say anything, but his eyes said it all—finally fury. “Not again,” Meridian whispered.

Rushing forward, they laced their fingers with Shadow’s exposed glove, trying to will their powers to fucking _work_ —”Not again,” they repeated frantically, gripping his hand tighter. They felt Shadow trying to grip their hand too. “I didn’t mean to do that, don’t…” Don’t what? Die? At least _he_ could still breathe. 

“Hey!” Someone yelped behind Meridian; they turned to see Amy hefting a huge hammer. “Out of the way!” 

As much as Meridian wanted to stay, to fix their mistake, they stepped away and gritted their teeth, noting that everyone was staring either at them, or Shadow. They hung their head in shame, so they didn’t have to see all their mistakes reflected in the face of everyone here. 

Of course Meridian would screw it all up when they were all here to talk about what Meridian was going to screw up. That was their specialty.

“Yah!” Amy shouted, bringing the hammer down on the ceramic countertop with a resonant crash. “Silver, get the broken pieces out of my way!” 

The grey hedgehog pushed through the crowd, while the purple cat followed closely behind him; the cat glared at Meridian but said nothing, while Silver seemed to… levitate pieces of the counter? It was an interesting power, one that had Meridian looking up from their shame. 

After a few more swings with her hammer, the cabinet was completely busted, but Shadow could finally stand up. Rouge was the first to approach, to put her hand on his shoulder. Her wings fluttered, like she was nervous. “Shadow… I don’t think they _meant_ it, please…” 

Fighting the urge to bow their head again, Meridian looked directly into Shadow’s eyes. They stared at each other for a moment, long enough that Meridian could see the rage melt away. It didn’t look like he was going to attack again, but Meridian didn’t get the sense that it was because he was afraid. More… understanding? 

Neither of them said anything for a while, then Shadow broke eye contact to walk towards the kitchen door. His shoulder slammed into Meridian’s as he left, but they let it go, too afraid of their powers to make a bigger deal out of it right now. 

Behind him, Shadow left a painful silence. “I’m sorry,” Meridian whispered. “I didn’t mean… I’ve only done that one other time, I don’t know how it happens.” 

“Maybe you should learn how to control your powers, hedgehog.” The cat next to Silver spat her first biting words to them, then placed a hand at the small of Silver’s back. “Let’s check on Shadow, Silver. To make sure he’s not _hurt._.” 

“Uh.. sure, Blaze.” Sending a sympathetic look to Meridian, Silver and Blaze left the room to make sure their friend was okay. The ceramic and wood floating in the air crashed to the ground, making everyone else in the room flinch. Tails hopped after them, to see if he was okay— or pester Shadow about more of his theorems. 

Rouge clapped her hands together tightly. “ _Well!_ Shadow has had _worse_ first introductions. _I_ call that a success.” She seemed smug. 

“Actually, I think that was pretty bad.” Amy was propped against the handle of her hammer, looking morosely at the mess. Knuckles was pinching the bridge of his nose, and Sonic was kicking pieces of rubble into a pile for easier clean-up. 

“Can we just… get through this without breaking more stuff that’ll come out of _my_ security deposit?” Knuckles asked. He sighed and started to help Sonic push the ceramic into one easy pile. “Sonic, if you don’t move your ass and collect all this, I’ll seriously doubt your claims that you run faster than the speed of sound.” 

“Let’s get to the living room then,” Rouge winked and grabbed Amy’s hand, reaching for Meridian’s with her other—but she stopped just short when Meridian’s fingers twitched. “That’s right, you don’t… well, _I_ wouldn’t want to end up like _poor_ Shadow,” she said, laughing as she retracted her hand. “And _I,_ unlike Shadow, know when to quit. Come on, Meridian sweetie.” 

With one final look at the wreckage they caused, Meridian followed the rest of the people in the kitchen back into the living room, trying not to think about how they brought ruin wherever they went. They cringed when they saw Shadow on the couch, holding Sirel in his arms; Meridian felt bile in their throat, even when Rouge began to coo. “Look at _you_ , big daddy hedgehog!”

“They were crying.” Shadow didn’t explain much further, looking at Meridian instead. “They’re yours?” Holding their hands out, Meridian nodded; they didn’t expect Shadow even wanted to talk to them after what happened, and some primal part of their mind didn’t want Sirel in his arms after Meridian had just hurt him, like he would retaliate by hurting them. Without complaint, though, Shadow gently placed them in Meridian’s hands. “You don’t seem very prepared to take care of a chao.” 

“... I know,” Meridian said quietly. There was barely room in here to stand, with how many people were crammed in one apartment living room, and Meridian and Shadow’s quiet voices both could barely be heard over their background chattering amongst each other. Drawing their arms in tightly, to keep from bumping into anyone, they looked down at Sirel. They seemed to be happy to be with a familiar face again, and Meridian’s cheeks burned. “... I’m doing the best I can. If I didn’t take them with me, they would have died.” 

“I’ll give you Cream’s number. She can help you.” Shadow shrugged. “Are you going to sit down at any point?” 

“... There’s nowhere to sit.” Meridian glanced at every available sitting surface. Silver was next to Shadow, talking to Blaze (who was sitting between Silver’s knees). Amy sat on his other side, with Rouge sitting on the armrest next to her. Tails sat on the armrest on Silver’s side. Sonic and Knuckles were still in the kitchen, but there wouldn’t be room for them on the couch, that’s for sure, and the chairs were currently being used to make a chao containment pen. The couch and chao pen took up any extra space. 

“Yes there is.” Shadow leaned against Amy, carefully bracing himself against her, lining up his foot next to a distracted Silver. With perfect aim, he shoved Silver off the couch and onto the floor next to Blaze, narrowly missing kicking him into Tails. 

“What the fuck, Shadow?” Silver griped. Blaze shot Shadow a dirty look, muttering something under her breath—but she was more concerned with making sure Silver was okay. 

“I _guess_ that works,” Meridian said quietly. They felt kind of bad that Silver was kicked out of a seat for them, but Meridian didn’t want to make Shadow think they were angry at him. They sat down, clutching Sirel tightly, trying not to bump elbows with anyone. It took them a moment to get acclimated, though—Shadow’s scent was powerful, and had Meridian’s heart pounding again. 

“What’s their name?” Shadow gestured to the chao, sitting upright and settling his arms across the back of the couch, resting his ankle on his thigh. He was still completely unconcerned about the concept of personal space, but Meridian noted that he was careful not to touch them. 

“Sirel… that’s their name.” Meridian stroked their thumb softly across the chao’s cheek, and they chirped happily. “Everything is so… _different_ here.”

“How so?” Shadow idly fiddled with a ring around his ankle, paying close attention to Meridian as they spoke. They couldn’t tell if it was his intense look, or just that Meridian wasn’t used to someone talking to them, but they felt trapped—and found they didn’t mind this specific feeling of being trapped. 

Leaning over so they could set Sirel down into the makeshift pen, Meridian carefully scooted back, closer to Shadow than Tails. Even just thinking about the stark difference between where they came from and where they are now made Meridian feel like they were choking on the words. Instead of answering his question, Meridian shook their head. “... I’m sorry for what happened in the kitchen,” they blurted. “I was trying to... push you _away_ , not actually hurt you…”

“I’m not hurt, hedgehog. I provoked you for a reason. I pushed you to your limit, and I got an honest reaction from you. You showed me who you are.” Shadow tore his eyes from Meridian, looking up at the ceiling instead, and a splintered feeling inside Meridian bubbled over. 

“Who am I, then? Because I don’t even know. How could _you_ know?” Meridian dug their nails into the fur on their leg, willing themselves to calm down. 

Even if Shadow noticed the shift in tone, he didn’t comment on it. “I know what it’s like to lose yourself, hedgehog.” 

They both were quiet for a few minutes, and Meridian’s anger had completely dissipated by the time Sonic and Knuckles came back into the room; as soon as they did, Meridian clenched their fist against their leg and nervously bounced it. There was not nearly enough room in this cramped, tiny little apartment. 

“Hey! Move over, Rouge!” Sonic playfully nudged the bat, and she huffed and puffed along with the joke, although she finally allowed him to sit next to his girlfriend after some back-and-forth. Amy moved over to give him room, causing Shadow to move over to give her room. Now his thigh was touching Meridian’s, and Meridian couldn’t move over without touching Tails or Silver too. 

Knuckles didn’t even try to squeeze himself onto the couch, because it looked like it was about to break under all the mobian ass. Instead, he stood up and began to finally relay everything Meridian had told him to the group, now that they were all here, and not fighting.

Meridian _tried_ to listen to Knuckles, but every time they tried to focus, their mind snapped back to Shadow’s thigh against theirs. It was like an itching under their skin, one they subtly scratched, but it wouldn’t go away no matter how hard Meridian dug their nails into their thigh. When would this ‘meeting’ end so they could leave without being rude? Especially because Shadow had invited them to sit here as a sort of peace offering. It felt like moving, twitching, or even _breathing_ would cause something else to cascade and crumble down around them. Like they would be lighting an olive branch on fire and spitting on it.

The itching spread to their hands, then crept its way upward. Meridian found themselves raking their nails down the inner part of their arm to stop the buzzing and itching, then stared at the blood coating their trembling fingers. Like they were already infected.

Clenching their hand into a fist, Meridian was finally at their limit; they stood up, feeling an immediate relief when they were no longer touching someone else. “I can’t be here,” they declared, talking over Knuckles and feeling like a cornered animal. “Too many people, too many…” Too many triggers, they wanted to say, but they didn’t. 

The whole room went dead silent, until Amy jumped up. “Let’s go shopping then! You can’t keep wearing those torn up boots forever, can you?” She reached for Meridian’s hand, but Shadow pushed her arm away. “Oh… yeah. Um, follow me! You guys can go ahead, just keep me updated!” She wiggled her cell phone and skipped towards the door. “C’mon, Meridian!” 

Meridian very badly wanted to leave, but they were afraid of… something they couldn’t quite name, that kept them rooted to the spot. “You don’t need me?” They questioned the room. They hoped they weren’t needed, but… the feeling that they shouldn’t leave remained. 

Most of them shook their heads, though some of them (like Blaze) refused to look at Meridian. It was Shadow that actually spoke. “You lack context for our methods, hedgehog. All we needed from you is what you’ve done, and Knuckles handled it. Go get some clothes,” he waved them off with a lazy hand, and Meridian was left with the impression that, while Knuckles was the one taking charge, Shadow was the one calling the shots. “Bring me back a bacon king.” 

Yet another thing Meridian didn’t know. “A… what?” They started to ask, but Amy interrupted them by making a noise in her throat, nearly reaching for Meridian’s hand again; she managed to stop herself this time, without Shadow’s help.

Instead, she pointed at the door, though her face seemed to be fighting a smile. “Out! They can handle it!” Behind Meridian there was a chorus of mumbling. Cheeks burning in shame, Meridian nodded. 

With a glance at the chao, they said “Take care of Sirel?” Their eyes fell onto Shadow’s, then Knuckles—the two people Meridian knew could separate whatever Meridian had done from the innocent chao. 

One after another, they both nodded, and Meridian finally stepped out of the apartment with Amy; they went down the stairs, and finally Amy pushed open the building door. For the first time in days, Meridian stepped out into sunshine and fresh air.


	4. Scarred Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The little things just add up, don't they?

“First things first—public bathroom to get you washed up!” Amy said happily. “People don’t really like it when you walk around covered in blood.” She tried to reach for Meridian’s hand again, but they pulled back from her before she could. “Oh, right. Hmmm, holding hands is a habit of mine, and you don’t like—hey, I have an idea!” Amy pulled her bag off her shoulder and began to root around inside, while Meridian looked up at the city around them. 

‘Chroma city’. It looked nothing like Meridian remembered; nothing was familiar, not even the architecture. So much changed, from one action… it made Meridian feel such an intense guilt—how many lives had they changed? Did it save anyone but themselves? Meridian couldn’t tell if they felt choked up because of that, or the smog they could taste in the back of their throat. 

Chroma city. What a joke. There was no color here at all. 

“Ta-da!” Amy announced, pulling Meridian from their thoughts; she’d produced a short length of rope from her bag, and offered one end to Meridian. “You can hold one end, and I can hold the other! I know, it’s silly… but I think it’ll work! It’s holding hands without holding hands!” 

Almost instantly, Meridian felt bad for the disparaging thoughts they were having. “...It’s a good idea,” they disagreed quietly, taking one end of the rope. She was trying so hard to bridge the gap with Meridian and their hangups, and they were standing here thinking about how ugly her city was. 

“Thanks,” Amy said. She smiled brightly at the hedgehog, then tugged on the rope. “There’s public bathrooms everywhere—actually, I think there’s one right down the street, _and_ it’s one of those family bathrooms!” She took off down the street, pulling Meridian along with her as she glanced from side to side. She descended on the public bathroom like a hawk, triumphantly throwing the door open. 

To Meridian’s relief, it was empty. They dropped the rope and Amy quickly tied it to her wrist like a bracelet. “Okay, jump on the counter so I can clean your fur off. I’m sure I have something in here…” she muttered to herself, digging in her bag again. 

Feeling awkward, Meridian put a hand on the cold counter and hoisted themselves onto the space between the sinks. The cold granite seeped right through their fur and chilled their skin; uncomfortable, they shifted while Amy produced a rag from her bag, then turned on the hot water. 

“Um, so, I have a question,” she started, looking up at Meridian with her big, bright green eyes. Her hand deftly felt the water, waiting for it to warm up. 

Meridian immediately tensed up. “What kind of question..?” They lifted their arm so Amy could run the hot rag against the dried blood—for the second time in as many days Meridian needed blood cleaned from their fur, and they hoped this wasn’t going to be a regular thing. Their hand and arm stung. 

“It’s about… what you said in the kitchen. When you pushed Shadow?” She clarified. “You said ‘not again’ and mentioned it happened before. What happened that time?” 

If Meridian thought they were tense before, that was nothing to how tense they felt now. Amy was busy cleaning their cuts, so she didn’t see their good hand clench into a fist. “I… pushed my girlfriend. I was trying to protect her, but I pushed her inside a power crystal,” Meridian explained. It was like drawing poison directly out of their veins talking about this, but they couldn’t stop; the memory of the huge power crystal in the aquarium’s caverns came to mind, and the body that would stay trapped inside forever. 

“I couldn’t get her out, neither could anyone else.. the aquarium shut down because of it.” Meridian hid their face in their hands, trying to control their shivering. “I’m… glad you were there to help Shadow. I don’t know how to reverse it.” 

Amy’s gentle hands worked quickly, and she seemed thoughtful when Meridian uncovered their face. “I’m glad I was there too, but I think he would have been fine. We had a chaos emerald, and he could have chaos controlled on his own if it came to that. I think we were just all in shock and not thinking. No one would have gotten hurt, you can’t blame yourself for something that didn’t happen. But…” Amy bit her lip. “I’m sorry about your girlfriend. That’s gotta be a hard thing to live with, but it wasn’t your fault. You were just trying to help, right? It was an accident.”

“I guess so.” Meridian looked away from Amy and tried to ignore the pang in their heart by focusing on the ragged pain in their side instead. They were both quiet, with the only sound in the bathroom being the dripping tap and rough scrubbing sound as Amy cleaned their fur. 

“What was her name?” Amy asked, finally. She set the bloodied rag onto the counter and hopped onto it herself, being sure not to touch Meridian. She seemed more focused on listening to them than cleaning now. She didn’t even seem to care that she was sitting in water on the counter.

Even saying her name out loud felt like a betrayal. Meridian choked on it before finally spitting it out. “...Viola.” 

“You’ve been through a lot, huh?” Amy asked. She reached towards Meridian, almost putting a hand on their shoulder, but she stopped herself inches from their fur and dropped her hand. When Meridian nodded, they found they were crying again; not wanting to cry in front of Amy, they tried to wipe the tears away with the back of their hand, and Amy continued like she hadn’t noticed. 

“Everyone else here has been through a lot too, y’know. We might be different, but you’re not alone. Knuckles is the only echidna left, and he feels alone too. Silver and Blaze came from a doomed timeline, they said. Shadow watched his best friend die, then lost his memory and used his powers to hurt his friends. Also he’s an alien, kind of? We _all_ don’t fit in, which is why we’re friends!” Amy giggled and smoothed out the slightly wrinkled part of her dress. “So you can talk to us if you need to. None of us are gonna think less of you, ‘kay?” 

As she hopped off the counter, Meridian mulled over what she’d said. Truth be told, they hadn’t considered that the mobians who took them in had problems just as big as Meridian’s, and Meridian felt a wash of shame on their face for being so inconsiderate and full of themselves. “I’m sorry. You’re right,” they said quietly. Then—“... You have water on your butt.” 

The pink hedgehog spared a glance to the mirror behind her, and upon finding that she did indeed have water on her butt, she laughed. “Guess it gives me an excuse to buy a new dress, huh?” She untied the rope around her wrist and offered the end to Meridian. “C’mon, I want to buy you a dress too! If you want one?” She quickly amended. “Have you ever worn a dress before?”

“Um… no,” Meridian told her quietly, taking the rope from her. The idea of it seemed to make her happy, so they didn’t want to tell her it felt silly to hold a rope like this. They’d let her be proud of thinking of it, instead of raining on her parade; proud, Amy started to pull them out of the bathroom, leaving the astringent smell behind them as they continued their thought from before. “Just boots. Where I’m from, we didn’t wear many clothes, just boots.. or gloves. Sometimes a scarf… it’s been weird seeing so many of you wearing so much.” Meridian fiddled with the frayed rope as they walked down the sidewalk again. “...I don’t mind trying one on.”

“I bet I can find something you like!” Amy told them. She walked with purpose now, picking up the pace and dragging Meridian along. “Do you like bright or dark colors?”

“Bright…” Meridian said. They wanted to tell Amy that the ‘bright’ colors they’d seen here so far lacked… well, brightness—but they didn’t know how to say it without making her feel bad, so they didn’t even try. Maybe it was just a side effect from timeline-hopping and not something wrong with this place; Meridian didn’t know the aftereffect of what they did, after all. Something could be wrong with their eyesight now. It was best to just not bring it up and make them all feel bad for something they can’t control. 

It also meant Meridian was completely and utterly alone with their pain. Pain that was amplified when they got to what Amy called ‘Main Street’; she pointed at shop windows with dull and drab colors, proclaiming excitedly about each and every one, asking Meridian their opinion. They felt worse and worse with each ‘no’ they had to say, until it finally wore them down. 

“Aren’t I making you feel bad?” Meridian finally asked, fidgeting with the rope like it was the only lifeline keeping them tethered here; they wanted to run away. 

“Huh?” Amy turned around in confusion, her hand dropping from whatever she was pointing at this time. “Am I supposed to?” She tilted her head, eyebrows furrowing with a confused look that made Meridian feel stupid. 

The hand that wasn’t holding the rope fluttered nervously around their chest. “I.. I keep saying ‘no, I don’t like that’ whenever you ask me about something on display. It feels like… you’re going to be upset if I keep saying no. It can’t be fun if I’m just shooting everything down…” Meridian swallowed back the lump they felt in their throat. 

To their surprise, Amy giggled. “I think it’s fun to look at the store displays, we don’t _have_ to buy anything, y’know. It’s not going to hurt my feelings if you don’t want to wear this stuff.” 

It was like a weight Meridian didn’t know they were holding was lifted from their shoulders. Exhaling, relieved, Meridian tried to find a middle ground without telling her they hated the ‘bright’ colors she was pointing out. “Maybe instead of colors… we could go by fabric? I like soft things…” 

“Ooh, I know just the place!” Amy squawked, bolting off down the street; Meridian had to run after her, and both their boots pounded the cracked, aging `pavement. “They make the softest dresses I’ve ever worn!” She called back happily, only slowing down a bit when she saw Meridian was stumbling. “Oh, sorry, I got excited. It’s right there;” she pointed to a tall building, with a huge, tasteful filigree sign, with a much more tacky name: “Fabric-a-brac”.

“It’s a boutique?” Meridian questioned. They couldn’t imagine they’d find any hidden gems here—but then, Amy knew this city in a way Meridian no longer did. Maybe they should trust her judgement. 

“Yeah! They keep lots of different dresses, I bet we can find something you like. Most of it might be from _last season_ though.” She wrinkled her nose, as though that were slightly distasteful—but Meridian didn’t really know what that meant. 

They walked into the store together, and Meridian felt overwhelmed by the sheer volume of clothes on the racks; they’d seen so many people walking around wearing layers and layers, while Meridian was used to seeing bare fur—grinding on rails wasn’t easy if you were weighed down by a bunch of fabric. 

Then Meridian remembered, they didn’t use rails to get around here. They had to fight and push away the bitter feeling in their throat to pay attention to Amy again. She was pulling various dresses out and examining them, then putting them back. “What do you think about this one?” She asked finally, holding up a dull blue dress. Meridian could only shake their head, and the pattern repeated for at least an hour—until Amy held up a dark purple dress that shimmered under the lights in the boutique. It was hard to see the shape of it when it was dangling in the air, but the fabric was what interested them.

Feeling drawn to it, Meridian laid a hand against the fabric and marveled at how soft it was. “What kind of fabric is this?” they asked. It felt solid, but springy, and as they moved their hand the colors changed from dark to light. 

“Um… I think it’s crushed velvet,” Amy said. She checked the tag, then nodded to confirm. “Yup! Wanna know the best part?” 

As Meridian looked down at her quizzically, she giggled and pulled a solid mass of fabric from a box below the rack. Clearly, she’d been containing her excitement for the reveal, because she was almost shouting with exuberance. “There’s matching boots! You like this dress?” 

To Meridian they didn’t look much like boots, but they’d trust Amy on this one. “I like the way it feels,” they told her. It was much different kind of soft than the worn pleather of their ancient boots. 

“Then lets try it on! I just need to find something myself, after we get you some leggings.” She threw the dress over her shoulder and tucked the boots under her arm. While she picked through the racks, she spared another glance to Meridian. “I could do your makeup too, I bet. Just eyeliner and some lip gloss if you want.” She held up a pair of latex leggings, contemplating them. 

“..I’ve never worn makeup. Where I’m from, makeup was for fancy parties… I never got invited to any.” Meridian shrugged. “Is it really common here..?” 

“Um, yeah!” Amy held the leggings up to Meridian’s legs, seeing how long they would be on them. “Aww, too short. You’ve got really nice legs, y’know.” She put the leggings back on the rack. “We need accessories too. Do you like flowers?” 

The casual compliment had Meridian’s cheeks heating up with a blush. “...Thanks. I like flowers, but…” But flowers were Viola’s thing. His favorite had been the hydrangea. 

“Alright, what about these?” She pulled a clear plastic box of floral clips from a nearby shelf, showing them to Meridian. “I can clip them to you and your clothes.”

“I don’t mind..” they finally decided. The flowers were just standard lily shapes, in a purple that matched their dress. Amy was trying to do something nice, and they didn’t want to disappoint her. 

She stuffed the box into Meridian’s arms and scooted back to the racks of clothes, looking for the ‘right’ pair of leggings—finally pulling out a pair of long, solid black plain ones. She moved quickly on, finding herself a pinkish-red dress that cascaded down like the petals of a rose, then matching boots. 

“Lets do your makeup first!” Amy told Meridian. She dropped the clothes she was holding into a plastic basket and pointed to the back of the store. “The bathrooms are back there, I’ll do your makeup and then we can go to the changing rooms.” 

They made their way to the back of the store, until Amy suddenly stopped in front of two doors. “Um… not to be awkward, or anything but… which one do you use?” She turned and looked at Meridian, puffing out her cheeks a little bit. 

“Which… what?” Meridian looked at the two doors, wondering what they were missing this time. What was different _now_?

“Which bathroom? Um… since you’re not a girl, or a boy.” 

“Are they split like that?” Meridian asked, not wanting to believe what they were hearing. Amy nodded, and Meridian crossed their arms, feeling a bit vulnerable. They looked away from Amy, and back to the bathroom. “That’s ridiculous, why… how am I supposed to answer that..? Do people like me not even exist anymore? Did I cause that?” Meridian tightened their grip on their arms, digging their nails in. 

“No, it’s not that!” Amy said. She moved, as though to put a hand on Meridian’s shoulder to comfort them, but thought better of it. “There’s lots of people like you, we just have a lot of people who don’t understand, either… Sonic is asexual, Shadow is aromantic, we’re not strangers to this kind of thing, even if none of us are agender. I’m sorry… was it that different where you lived?” 

“...Yes.” Meridian bowed their head, trying to take that in. “Bathrooms weren’t separated, and no one cared. Which one am _I_ supposed to go in...?”

Amy rubbed her cheek, thoughtful. “I’m not sure… you could come with me to the girls bathroom, we’re just doing makeup. I’m sorry things are so different here, I wish I could make it more like your home.” 

“Me too.” Meridian dropped their arms, feeling gangly and sad, and wanting to go home—not that they had a home to go back to. “Let’s do makeup. I can’t change anything.” 

“Right.” Amy threw the door to the bathroom open, and Meridian followed her inside the small room with a sink, a mirror, and a couple of stalls. “Okay, turn and face me,” she said, throwing her purse onto the sink counter and pulling out a few sticks of what Meridian _assumed_ to be eyeliner, as well as a palette. Meridian did as she asked once she turned back around, and she bit her lip. “It’s okay to touch you for this, right? I can just let you do it if you want.” 

Meridian hadn’t thought about that; if Amy was going to do their makeup, she needed to touch their face. It made them uncomfortable, but they would probably mess up if they did it themselves, considering they’d never used makeup before. “... Go ahead.” 

“I’ll be quick,” she promised. She reached for their face and moved it to get the best lighting, then uncapped one of the tubes. “Don’t blink,” she warned, beginning to line Meridian’s big eyes. “I’m doing it in purple, to match the dress. It’ll really bring out your eyes,” she explained to them while she worked. 

With a snap, she closed the tube again and picked up the palette. With the brush, she spread powder on their lids, and the darker rim around their eyes. “All done!” she crowed, standing back to let Meridian take a look in the mirror. 

For a moment, Meridian didn’t recognize themselves; there was a thick purple ring outlining their eyes, fanned out with an equally dark powder. Though Meridian didn’t have long eyelashes like Amy did, they felt like she’d done a good job framing their eyes. Once more they were speechless, looking left and right to see how it looked from every angle. “... I like it,” they said finally. “Thanks.” 

“Don’t thank me yet!” She giggled. “We have to go get dressed now!” She pranced out of the bathroom, and Meridian followed her back to where she’d left the dresses. They made their way to the changing room this time, and Amy took one stall while Meridian took the other. 

Now alone, Meridian sat on the bench and crossed one leg over their knee, to gently pull off their boots. Though the boots had lasted them years, they were beginning to fall apart now that the power crystal—chaos emerald—was no longer attached. They made a mental note to have them repaired somewhere, before they picked up the black leggings and pulled them on. After that came the dress, then the boots—all of which were soft, and cradled Meridian’s skin so gently, they almost could forget they were wearing anything at all. Though the boots themselves were mostly fabric, they had a solid base for Meridian’s feet to stand on.

Meridian looked down and ran a hand through the fabric, watching it shift from dark to light. It was a beautiful dress, and Meridian felt pretty, but they dreaded the moment they had to look in the mirror. Would they recognize themselves? Was this new Chroma City going to rob them of their entire identity? They were using girls bathrooms, wearing dresses, makeup… Meridian had always known who they were, but everything was changing, and it was happening too fast. 

So Meridian avoided the mirror. They picked up their boots and walked out of the changing room to wait for Amy; she threw the door open with a flourish, and did a little pirouette for Meridian. “Ta-da! What do you think?” She said. She looked like she was wearing rose petals stitched to a flowing dress—and it looked great on her. 

“...You look great, Amy.” Meridian said. “Can you clip these somewhere? I don’t know where to put them.” Meridian rattled the box at her, and she beamed. 

“Yeah, of course!” She picked up the biggest one and clipped it somewhere around the quills on Meridian’s forehead. Another big one went to the side of the dress, and two small ones on their boots. She wrapped a ribbon around Meridian’s left wrist, then clipped one last flower to it. “There. You look great!” She enthused. 

“I haven’t actually looked in a mirror yet…” Meridian admitted, half-expecting Amy’s gasp of shock already. 

“Oh man, we gotta get you to a mirror. C’mon, they’ve got a big one over here!” She excitedly led Meridian to a large silver mirror with filigree around the base, then stepped back to allow Meridian to look at themselves

She was right. Meridian _did_ look great; the dress, while it flared out in a way that Meridian thought was Amy’s style more than their own, was still very pretty, and the matching boots went up their legs and clung tightly to their thighs. With the combination of the dress and makeup, they looked decidedly feminine now—but Meridian still felt like themselves. In hindsight, it was silly to be afraid that simply putting on a dress would somehow change their gender… 

“I love it,” they told Amy quietly, and she beamed. “Thank you.” 

“You’re welcome! Let’s go pay, and we can go show off our dresses. I think Shadow is going to like yours a _lot_ ,” Amy giggled. “I didn’t realize how good you’d look.” 

Her words once again sent a blush straight to Meridian’s cheeks. “Is that a good thing..?”

“Well, it depends on how much you like Shadow.” She laughed again, then walked up to the register to pay while Meridian chewed on what she’d said. 

By the time she got back, with bags to hold their old clothes in, Meridian had decided they didn’t mind the idea. Underneath the unease, and the itching, Meridian remembered liking the way Shadow’s thigh felt touching their own. 

The whole way back to the apartment, Meridian was lost in thought. Them and Amy ate at a fast food restaurant, and Amy ordered the promised ‘bacon king’ before they left. 

At the apartment, Meridian hung back while Amy burst through the door. “We’re baaaack!” She sang, twirling in the doorframe, burger-bag in hand. “ _And_ we got new dresses!” 

“We?” Sonic repeated. 

“Yeah! C’mon, Meridian, strut your stuff!” She stepped aside to let Meridian walk through the door, and she held her hands like she was presenting an award. “Behold, the beauty of the Amy Rose treatment!”

Tails clapped, playing along, and Sonic patted Amy on the back. While Meridian’s eyes scanned the room, they saw Blaze nod in approval, and Silver giving them a thumbs up. It was when they saw Shadow staring at them that they stopped scanning, and nervously pulled at the hem of the dress. He was leaning against the wall near the kitchen door.

“Looks great, hedgehog.” Shadow said. He pushed off the wall and went into the kitchen instead of lingering. Amy ran to follow him so she could give him his burger. 

“Ignore him, he’s bad at being nice, sweetie.” Rouge said, fluttering her way over to Meridian. “That is _high_ praise, coming from _him_. _Trust_ me, I think in _all_ the years we’ve lived together, he told me I look good _once_. You got it on _your_ first try!” She tittered and straightened the hem of their dress. “I think you could pair this with a short jacket and look very _punk_.” 

Meridian finally gave a rare smile. “That sounds nice. Thank you, everyone. Um… what did you talk about while we were gone?” Being in the spotlight was fun and all, but they felt awkward and unsteady about it. 

Sensing the same, Rouge pointed at Knuckles. “ _He_ figured out that your emerald is actually a _master_ emerald.” 

“What does that… mean, exactly?” Meridian asked. They folded their arms and looked at Knuckles. 

“That’s what we’re trying to figure out!” Tails said. He seemed excited, already bouncing around the room while he talked. “There’s never been two master emeralds in one timeline at once, we don’t know what will happen. That’s a _lot_ of infinitely expanding energy, and I’ve run a few simulations already. Worst case scenario, if this master emerald gets near the other master emerald, the colliding energy could blow up the universe. But that’s only the worst case!” He said quickly, ears drooping, when Knuckles raised a fist at him—but the damage was done, and Meridian looked down at the floor, ashamed. 

“We said we weren’t going to mention that part,” Knuckles threatened Tails. “Remember when I said specifically _not to mention the worst case scenario_?” 

“Yeah… I just got excited. Sorry Knuckles. Sorry Meridian.” 

“What’s the best case scenario?” Meridian asked quietly. 

“The best case scenario is we can use both master emeralds to protect the universe with their infinite energy!” Tails perked back up. “But I need to run more tests on them both to figure it out, and that might take a few days…” 

“So what do we do in the meantime?” Sonic asked. Meridian looked up just in time to see Shadow slip back into the room. “Wait for the world to end?” 

“I guess so! That’d confirm a lot of my theories—” 

“Then I guess we’re going to have a party!” Sonic crowed. “Knuckles can’t even stop me this time, because it could be the end of the world! You wouldn’t deny me that, would you?”

“You’d be surprised,” Knuckles growled. “There’s a hole in my kitchen wall, and the cabinet is busted. If anything else gets broken, I’m going to make you eat it, Sonic. Still want a party?” 

Sonic looked thoughtful. “Hmm. I guess…” he looked at Rouge, then a smile crawled over his face. Rouge nodded, smiling, while Sonic crowed again. “We’re having a party at Rouge’s place!” 

“I bought the house, hedgehog.” Shadow raised an eyebrow. “What makes you think I’m going to let you have a party in my house?” 

“Um… nepotism?” Sonic asked hopefully. 

“Only if you look up what ‘nepotism’ actually means.” Shadow scoffed. 

“Deal! Meridian, you’re coming, right?” He looked so hopeful, that Meridian didn’t think they could say no.

“I suppose…” Meridian answered him.

Meridian was going to be going to their first party, and it was a party being thrown because they might have ended the universe.

Meridian’s new friends were the weirdest bunch of mobians they’d ever met.


	5. Damage / Control

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My very good friend [@glitchedpuppet](https://twitter.com/glitchedpuppet) drew fanart of Meridian and Shadow! [Please check it out :)](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/570618680568971264/736107472368173116/unknown.png)

Meridian had never been to a party. They had been to “social gatherings” with Viola, but nothing that could be described as a _party_ ; Viola would use her many arms to bake cookies and cakes with her spider-like dexterity, then bring them to the park where her friends would devour them, play games, and hang out. Meridian came along sometimes, had a cookie or piece of cake here and there, but they never said much—try as Viola’s friends might to include them. 

They regretted never getting to know her friends better… but maybe it was better that they didn’t, now. Breaking away from Meridian after what they’d done was probably a lot easier because they were just a backdrop in Viola’s life… his partner that just looked and felt out of place, out of touch, out of time. His partner that looked like they were always awkward and uncomfortable. 

The guilt hit them once more when Meridian remembered Viola’s fluffy-haired best friend—their name was Marmalade, and they tried so hard to include Meridian in everything. It just never worked out… and they wished that they had become better friends with Marmalade, despite everything. Maybe getting over Viola would have been easier with someone who knew how much it hurt. After Viola had died, Marmalade sent Meridian a text telling them if they needed anything, they’d be there. Selfishly, Meridian had ignored it, and not even spared a thought to why Marmalade would be reaching out to them. 

They had been so wrapped up in themselves, in self-isolation, never giving anyone the time of day… when they lost Viola, Meridian was so distraught about losing a partner, that they forgot Marmalade lost their best friend. Meridian was responsible for both things, and yet Marmalade didn’t hesitate to reach out to them… and Meridian ignored it. Ignored that they weren’t alone, not really. Just like they ignored the way Viola’s friends had tried to befriend Meridian. 

Those unanswered olive branches of friendship Meridian had rejected again and again were the reason Meridian was standing in Sonic’s messy room, fidgeting nervously, feeling bad for even asking—but these people were trying to be Meridian’s friend, just like Viola’s friends had—and even _they_ had the excuse that they were only doing it because Meridian was Viola’s partner. Sonic and his friends had no reason to care about Meridian whatsoever; they now recognized the mistakes they left behind, and didn’t want to repeat them with anyone else. 

“Do you have a jacket I can borrow for the party..?” Meridian asked the blue hedgehog, dressed back in just their old boots that they had cleaned up as best they could. The dress was hanging safely in Knuckles room, ready for the party that was planned to happen in a few days. “Rouge said my dress would look cool with a jacket, but I don’t have…” 

“Uh, duh, it _so_ would!” Sonic said, already bouncing towards his closet with zeal and expertly avoiding the minefield of old cardboard and litter strewn about the floor. “What kind of look you goin’ for?” He began tossing shirts and pants out of the closet, adding to the rug of clothes already on the floor. “I don’t have much, ‘cause I don’t wear anything except my shoes and gloves unless I have to dress up, but I bet I can find something for ya.” 

Dodging a wayward shoe, Meridian tried to envision how they wanted to look, only to find they were drawing a huge blank. They just wanted to look… cool. A blush heated their cheeks, and they blurted out “Do you… know what Shadow likes?” before they could chicken out; it was as good a place as any to start, right…? 

“I hear ya, buddy. Didn’t know it was like _that_ , but I don’t blame ya. Shads is pretty spicy, if you know what I mean—and trust me, that stunt in the kitchen probably got him more excited than he’s been in fifty years. But uh, I gotta warn ya…” Sonic turned away from his closet to regard Meridian, thoughtfully placing a hand on his own chin, expression sober and thoughtful for once. “Shads and I tried it out once, it didn’t work because he’s not into romance, and I’m not into him not being into romance. Don’t go for him if that’s gonna bother you, you’ll just get hurt.” 

Recalling what Amy had told them, Meridian rubbed their forearm tightly, trying to think of what to say without being invasive. “I didn’t ask, but… Amy told me he’s aro and... she told me you’re ace too. Sorry,” 

“No prob, Mer. It’s not a secret,” Sonic laughed and kept digging through clothes, seeming utterly unbothered. “I’m pretty open about it. Shads is more sneaky with his sexy, but he’s not going to be pissed either. We’re all friends, after all. Kinda,” Sonic held up a green jacket, then made a noise of disgust at the color—it would obviously clash with the dress, and Meridian’s fur. He tossed it. 

“In that case… uh, I guess, I don’t mind.” Meridian scratched at the fur on their arm, while the word ‘friends’ bounced around in their skull. “That he’s aro, I mean. I’m not ready for a relationship, so…” 

“I got your back. How’s this?” Sonic turned, holding a very small jacket in his hands like he’d found the holy grail. “Eh? Ehhh?” 

The jacket was short, made of leather, and had zippers all over it. “Do you think it would… fit me?” Meridian eyed it, then sized Sonic up; Sonic was shorter than they were, and it already looked small on _him_...

“Well duh, it’s supposed to be small. It’s a half jacket, or something.” Sonic gingerly sniffed it before offering it to Meridian. “Yup, it’s clean, Mer. See if it fits! Shads likes leather… maybe you could wear leather boots with it, get the weirdo all excited.” 

Meridian took it and shrugged it on, offering Sonic a smile. “...Are you supposed to be giving out insider information?” they asked, trying to crack a rare joke—feeling pleased and relieved when Sonic laughed along and started digging through his closet again. 

The jacket smelled like pure leather, and the smell filled their nostrils; Meridian straightened it out, pulling the hem down as far as it would go—which wasn’t very far. The jacket was so short it was barely below their chest, and Meridian couldn’t zip it up either: They were taller, and their chest was broader than Sonic’s, so the jacket didn’t fit like a normal jacket would. “What do you think?” Meridian finally asked. 

After another pair of shoes were thrown from the closet, Sonic looked up to judge Meridian’s style, a different pair of shoes tucked under one of his arms. “Looks great!” He said, giving Meridian an enthusiastic thumbs up with his free hand. “I think it’d go well with that dress Amy helped you pick out. If you wanna be a showstopper wear these bad boys.” Sonic dumped the shoes on the floor at Meridian’s feet and snorted. “I chickened out of wearing them, so they’ve just been chillin’ in my closet. I prefer my Soaps anyway,” he grinned. 

Meridian idly wondered what kind of event Sonic had even bought these boots _for_. They were very long, so long that Meridian was certain they would go all the way up on Sonic’s legs. They also had a thick, chunky platform heel, and a zipper up the side. Wordlessly, Meridian sat in Sonic’s computer chair (the only free spot to sit that wasn’t the bed), and pulled their boots off to see how these new ones would fit. 

It seemed that, though Meridian was taller, they had smaller feet than Sonic; they slipped in easily, and Meridian stood to tug the boots up, and up, all the way up to their mid-thigh, where the leather clamped tightly down on their fur. “They’re… long,” Meridian said. They took a step forward, then another one, seeing how they liked the heels. They felt unstable, but they made Meridian feel _very_ tall; Meridian was now a solid four or five inches taller than they were before, if they had to hazard a guess. They towered over Sonic even more, who was beaming. 

“You look _sweet_!” Sonic shouted, enthused. “Hey Knuckles, come check this out!” The enthusiasm sent heat sweeping through Meridian’s cheeks; they weren’t used to anyone calling attention to what they were wearing, and they felt the fear squeeze their chest once more as Knuckles sidled into the room. 

“Ugh, your room is even messier than normal, what’s with all the—holy mother of chaos,” Knuckles said when he spotted Meridian. He craned his head upwards. “That for the party? You’re gonna knock someone on their ass with that outfit.” 

“They want to hit it off with Shadow, so I helped ‘em out.” Sonic plopped on his bed, propping his feet up on a cushion that seemed to be from a couch, stolen and repurposed. His casual mention of Meridian going for Shadow made Meridian’s blush deepen, more ashamed.

“So you’re feeding them to the wolves, huh.” Knuckles sighed and smacked his palm against his face. “Did this knucklehead tell you Shadow has a leather kink?” 

“Um… no.” Meridian felt self-conscious, and they looked down to straighten out an invisible wrinkle in the jacket. “That’s okay, though… I might—” Meridian said, trying to find the right words. “Whatever happens, I don’t mind.” 

“I’ve never heard someone use so many words to say they’re DTF,” Sonic snickered. “C’mon, Mer, there’s nothing wrong with it. Just say you wanna—” 

“Sonic, some of us actually put more than a single braincell’s worth of thought into what we’re saying,” Knuckles interrupted. He pinched the bridge of his nose, then sighed. “Long as you know what you’re getting into, kid. Have fun, you look great. With the dress, you’ve got him.” He smiled ever so slightly at Meridian before taking his leave from the room, saying something about Tails needing help with the emerald. 

There was a beat of silence, then Meridian said “Thanks, Sonic. I need to go ask Knuckles about something… but I appreciate everything you’ve done for me. Both of you.” 

“Hey, no prob, Mer. Chaos knows you probably deserve a break. We can all relate, y’know. I’ve saved the world more times than I can count.” Sonic smirked. “I’ve earned the bragging rights.”

“Yeah, sure.” Meridian smiled again, shaking their head. They left Sonic’s room feeling lighter, trailing their hand down the hallway wall as they followed Knuckles’ path to the living room, where they knew Tails and Knuckles were working closely together with the emerald, and Tails’ machine. 

When they got to the doorway, Meridian stopped, needing to process the guest they hadn’t already prepared for; Silver was lounging across the couch, levitating Sirel up and down while the chao bleated happily. They felt a knife twist in their gut anxiously. “What are you doing with them?” Meridian asked, trying to sound forceful, but only managing to sound anxious. 

“Just playing,” Silver supplied, while Tails and Knuckles spared a glance before going back to what they were doing. Sirel cooed and held their arms out, clearly wanting Meridian to pick them up, even as they twisted and twirled in midair. Silver sent the chao floating towards Meridian, and the hedgehog plucked them from the air and nestled them in the crook of their arm. Silver tilted his head to one side. “You alright?” 

“...I’m fine. I just wanted to ask Knuckles something.” Meridian ran a finger across Sirel’s cheek, and the chao grabbed and bit their thumb. Knuckles looked up while Sirel gnawed on Meridian’s finger. 

“What do you need?” Knuckles asked. He was halfway distracted by the machine, but he seemed like he wasn’t so busy that Meridian couldn’t ask him something. 

“I was just wondering if… well, I didn’t bring anything with me, and I don’t want to keep using your shampoo and body wash, so I was wondering if…” Meridian trailed off. Why was it so hard to ask? “I’ll pay you back when I get a job, and stuff…” 

“Yeah, no problem.” Knuckles said, semi-distracted. Clearly, he was completely unbothered by the request, and Meridian felt silly for being anxious. “You’ll have to take some cash and go without me, or wait ‘till I’m done with this.”

“Could I get some percussive maintenance?” Tails piped up to Knuckles. The red echidna grunted and punched the side of the machine, making it whirr loudly. “Great! Hey, if Meridian is going out to get stuff, maybe they could pick up some parts I need. My machine was built with _seven_ emeralds in mind, not eight—and when the eighth emerald is a master emerald, the influx of infinitely expanding energy kinda… breaks things.” Tails’ ears drooped, and Knuckles patted him on the back. 

“Good idea. We should get them a list, do you know what you need?” 

“I can go with them,” Silver offered. His eyes slid to Meridian. “Um, if you want me to, anyway.” 

“...I don’t mind,” Meridian told him, while Tails scribbled furiously on a scrap of paper. “We can get the parts Tails needs, and I can get some stuff I need.” Meridian looked down at Sirel, then gently pulled their thumb from the chao’s mouth. “I’ll bring Sirel too. I don’t think they’re used to being inside all the time… actually, I don’t think chao were ever inside.” Meridian frowned down at the chao, feeling guilty. How could they provide everything a chao needed? Sonic and Knuckles were helping with feeding them, but there was so much more to taking care of chao than that. 

Their thoughts were interrupted by Tails; he had finished writing his list, and was giving Silver specific instructions and shop recommendations. “I know where to find mech parts,” Silver told him, exasperated. “How many times have I run errands for you two?” 

Meridian tuned out their bickering, making a mental list of what they should buy themselves. Body wash and conditioner were a must; they wanted to stop feeling like the blood and grime from their old home was stuck on them, branding them. Maybe something for Sirel, too… but what would they buy for a chao? 

They were ashamed to admit it, but they needed help again. Clearing their throat, Meridian interrupted Tails and Silver as the fox was shoving what could only be money at the grey hedgehog. “Do either of you… know anything about chao? I’m not—I mean, I’ve never taken care of a chao before, even though… and I don’t know what I’m doing,” they finished lamely. 

“I could call Cream?” Silver suggested immediately. “She probably has stuff you can use—she loooooooves chao. Bet she’d love to meet, uh… yours.” Silver sheepishly rubbed the back of their neck. “What was their name again?” 

“Sirel,” Meridian said quietly. “It was a flower that grew in the chao gardens in my home.” 

“Right, right. Sorry, man. Hey, let’s get out of here—we’ve got plenty to do,” he said brightly, expertly changing the subject. “Thanks for the list Tails, we’ll be back later.” 

“Take care, both of you!” Tails waved at them as they left, and Knuckles merely grunted.

Meridian was still wearing their jacket and boots, so they towered over Silver as the two (three, if you included Sirel nestled happily in Meridian’s arms) traipsed down the apartment stairs. They were getting much better at walking in the chunky heels, and they hoped that with practice they could walk with _some_ measure of confidence. 

As soon as they were on level ground, Silver pulled out a phone and shot an apologetic look to Meridian as he put it to his ear. “Not trying to be rude, just calling Cream. S- Hey, Cream!” Silver said. He pointed down the street, motioning for them both to cross as he spoke quietly to Cream and explained the situation; Meridian couldn’t help but wonder at how _inconvenient_ this was. If there were rails, everyone could move more freely, instead of waiting for tons of metal to pass at alarming speeds. 

Meridian missed the fast-paced travel that rails offered. 

“Well, that’s that,” Silver said, breaking Meridian from their sullen thoughts. “Cream said she’d love to meet Sirel. She was already talking about a playdate with them and Cheese,” he said, rolling his eyes. “She’s also gonna bring you stuff to help, and teach you how to take care of them.” 

“Thanks. I—really appreciate it,” Meridian told Silver quietly. “I don’t know what I’m doing,” they repeated their words from earlier, but to their horror they teared up this time. Silver must have noticed, because he reached a hand out before biting his lip and withdrawing. 

“Hey, you’re fine now, right? You’re both fine, and our friends wanna help. Just let them help,” Silver told them softly. “I know what it’s like, y’know. I came here from a different timeline and they looked at me like I’d grown two heads when I told them I’d already met them.” Silver laughed, clearly fond of the memory, but the laughter died off and he sobered up. “It was the same situation as you. Doomed timeline, I mean. Took me a while to figure things out, myself, but you’ll get there. I promise.” He gave Meridian a toothy smile that showed his sharp canines. “We can both be the time strays, together.” 

Meridian ruminated on what Silver had said for a few minutes, quietly walking with him. Finally, they said “It’s nice to feel so welcomed in a place I don’t belong. I feel so out of place, out of touch… everything I know is gone. Everything I own, my friends, my girlfriend—” Meridian choked up again, remembering her body, trapped there in that crystal, remembering how they tried every way they knew to get her out, certain that if they could just remove her from that damnable crystal, she would be okay. 

Now they would never get the chance to fix it. 

“Well, my home was already destroyed before I was born, so I can’t really help there… but didn’t you say your girlfriend was already… gone?” Silver asked, maybe a bit tactlessly. 

“She was. I—I was hoping that… she might have still been alive,” Meridian whispered. They could barely be heard over the sound of the city. “She was just stuck in time, I just… needed to find a way to fix it, but now I can’t. It’s all my fault,” 

As though they sensed Meridian’s distress, Sirel patted them on the hand while Silver stopped walking. “You know that wasn’t your fault though, right? It was an accident, accidents happen. It sucks that you ran out of time to fix it, but that doesn’t mean you did something wrong. Being stuck in the past just stops your future. She’d have wanted you to move on, Mer.” 

Meridian felt a knife twist in their heart again. “Everyone keeps saying it wasn’t my fault because it was an accident, but that doesn’t mean anything. If you accidentally kill someone it’s still a crime, you’re still guilty.”

“I can’t make you see it the way everyone else sees it,” Silver said sympathetically. “You can lead a horse to water, and stuff. You’ve been through hell, and it sucks, and all you can do is wait ‘till it feels better. So how about we go shopping instead? A little retail therapy.” Silver snorted and fanned a wad of cash against his face, starting to walk again. 

In quiet contemplation (at least in Meridian’s case), Meridian and Silver walked into shop after shop, grabbing metal bits and bobs that Meridian couldn’t even begin to guess what their purpose was. Eventually, Silver was levitating their bags around them and Sirel wanted to join the fun; Meridian allowed Sirel to be lifted the same way too after Silver assured them it was safe. Meridian had even picked up some patterned tights and leather elbow-length gloves they thought would look good with their outfit.

Finally at the bath shop, they took their time picking out body wash, shampoo, and conditioner; Meridian got some clean-smelling fragrance that didn’t burn their nose, and wasn’t sickly sweet—and on impulse, even bought a cologne that purported itself to be leather-scented, and some of the makeup Amy had used on them before. They figured that if Shadow _did_ have a fetish for leather, making themselves smell like leather could only help if Meridian wanted to go through with teasing him, and the makeup would make them look cool. They didn’t expect it to go as far as sex, but teasing… it would be nice to feel normal, like they weren’t infected.

Now Meridian just needed to wait for the party tomorrow. There was only one more thing they wanted to try before they did. 

“Hey, Knuckles?” Meridian asked. They were back in the apartment, in the kitchen. No one else was around—Tails was using the parts Silver had bought to upgrade the machine in the living room, Sonic was taking a nap, and Silver was playing with Sirel; he seemed fascinated by the chao, and Sirel seemed happy to be the center of attention with him. “I’m trying to understand some… things, and I think I need your help to do it.” 

“Yeah, sure. What do you need help with?” With one last stir to the cooking pot he was keeping a watchful eye on, Knuckles turned to regard Meridian, who was standing next to the fridge awkwardly. 

“I was wondering if… this is going to sound weird, but could you touch my arm or something? I want to get better about… not freaking out if someone touches me.” Meridian screwed their eyes shut, not wanting to see Knuckles’ face if he thought it was weird. 

All they heard was a ‘hmph’, and then suddenly, a warm hand wrapped around their arm. “Tell me when to stop,” Knuckles said. Meridian nodded and focused on not pulling away. It still felt dizzying, nauseous; an ache like a bunch of bee stings concentrated in one area. As though trying to soothe Meridian, they felt Knuckles hand rub their arm, causing the stinging sensation to move with it. 

It was almost unbearable—but Meridian had lived with worse pain. This did not have to break them. Slowly, they concentrated on the pain, and in time found that it wasn’t really that painful after all. It wasn’t bone-deep like their fear was; it was just surface level, and didn’t even hurt that much when they thought about it.

One of those rare smiles fought their way to Meridian’s face. Of _course_ they’d overestimated and overblown something that wasn’t actually a big deal. Wasn’t that exactly what everyone else was trying to tell them, in the nicest way possible? 

Meridian felt like they understood a lot more about themselves when they opened their eyes and said “...Okay, you can stop. Thank you.” Understood things like, how they tended to panic when there was no need. How that panic fueled their antisocial behaviors, how that panic made them shy away from touch. It wasn’t the pain, it was the panic, and Meridian didn’t want to panic anymore. 

Knuckles turned to stir the food again, oblivious to any of Meridian’s epiphanies. “No problem. Did it help?” 

“Yeah, it helped. My skin is still sensitive, but… I figured out that there’s nothing to be afraid of.” Meridian shrugged. “Just because it hurts a little doesn’t mean I have to panic... I’m not going to die, and I’m not going to infect anyone.”

“Dealing with pain gets easier over time,” Knuckles answered, still glaring down into the pot, like the food was offensive. “It’ll get easier for you too. Want some of this chowder? We stood there for twenty minutes, I’m sure it’s done.”

Had it really been that long? “Yeah, sure.” Meridian’s stomach growled, and they seemed surprised; Knuckles laughed. 

“Yeah, sounds like it. Go tell everyone that dinner is ready, and make sure you remind Sonic that no matter how many times he says he hates seafood, he’s always stealing the damn leftovers when I make clam chowder.” 

For once, Meridian grinned broadly. “I can do that,” they said. 

~~~~~

The next day, Sonic had left early to set up for the party, claiming before he left that it would be ‘a rager’. Knuckles had already scoffed and said he wasn’t going to go, and Meridian understood him completely; they kind of didn’t want to go either, but the memory of Viola’s friends trying—and failing—to include them felt stuck in their head. They needed to make up for past mistakes, even if they couldn’t make it up to the people they hurt.

It was only with a tiny bit of trepidation that Meridian showered later; they cleaned every inch of their body in the scalding hot water they’d come to enjoy, and slathered conditioner across their fur. The result was, when they dried off with a towel, their fur and quills were soft and silky, and glinted like a gemstone under the lights when Meridian caught a glance in the mirror.

Barefoot and slightly fluffy, Meridian left the bathroom and stood in the living room, wondering what going to a party would be like. They just needed to take it one step at a time… starting with getting dressed. First was their new pair of tights—purple, like their eyes, and patterned with faint flowers that reminded them of their home. Meridian pulled them on, then the leather gloves, then the dress they’d fetched from Knuckles’ room before their shower. On top of that came the jacket, and then finally the boots that had them towering over everyone else. They left off the flower clips, thinking they would mess up the ‘cool’ look they were trying to go for, but splashed the leather cologne on their neck and wrists. Finally, they glanced at the makeup on the table with apprehension. 

Amy wasn’t here to do it for them, this time. They were scared to mess up, but they wanted to complete the look. They picked up the makeup and decided they could just wash it off if they made a mistake.

In the living room mirror, Meridian started with the eyeshadow; a lighter purple than before, carefully applied around their eyes like Amy did it. They built up pigment until they were satisfied, brushing stray dust from their fur, and then used black eyeshadow to make it look smokey. Satisfied, they picked up the eyeliner pencil. This one would be harder, but…. Meridian was going to try. Carefully, steadying their hand with the other, they drew a thin line on the rim of their eyes. 

Sure, it was a little shaky, but it didn’t look too bad. Feeling a bubble of excitement in their chest, Meridian put the makeup down and instead picked Sirel up. The chao cooed and tugged at Meridian’s jacket. “Ready to spend some time with Knuckles?” Meridian asked them, gently running their gloved thumb over Sirel’s cheek. They answered by grabbing Meridian’s finger and nuzzling against it. 

They had already gotten directions to Shadow and Rouge’s house; it wouldn’t take long to walk there, only half an hour, and the party would be in full-swing. Meridian would be fashionably late… they hoped. 

Popping into Knuckles’ room, Meridian put the chao on his floor, and they immediately started playing with a pair of his shoes. “Thanks for watching them,” Meridian said to Knuckles. 

“No problem. Go out and have fun,” he said. Finally he looked up, and eyed Meridian up and down. “You’ll definitely knock him dead,” Knuckles snorted. “You look like you’re ready to kiss or kill someone.” 

“Ha. Thanks,” Meridian said. They walked out of Knuckles’ room feeling much more confident, and that confidence carried them all the way to the party; people milled about the manicured front lawn in various states of inebriation, but Meridian walked past them, head held high. They pushed the door open, and felt their heart sink at the crowd inside, but they steeled themselves and walked in anyway. 

Immediately, a large crocodile—only a head taller than Meridian in their boots—accosted them, throwing an arm around Meridian’s shoulders. “Heeeeeeey!” they shouted into their ear. “Never seen you ‘round here, where’d you come from, tall and shiny?” 

Trying to ignore the buzzing under their skin, Meridian allowed the crocodile to accost them. “I’m a friend of Shadow and Sonic’s,” they yelled back, trying to be heard over the pounding music. “My name’s Meridian,” 

“Any friend of theirs is a friend of mine! ‘Sup Meridian! I’m Vector!” They shouted. “Drinks are in the kitchen, pool’s in the back. A bunch of us were going to go skinny-dipping and see how fast we could piss Shadow off later, feel free to join!”

Despite themselves, Meridian smiled. “Maybe,” they allowed themselves to tell Vector. Finally the crocodile let them go, accosting someone else in much the same way that they grabbed Meridian. To the yells of “Hi! I’m Vector!”, Meridian slunk through the crowd, trying to find the kitchen. With a jolt of pleasure, they realized they were much taller than a majority of people at this party—they stood out, and it was thrilling, but scary. People were looking at them, some tried to dance with them. 

They finally found another room—a second living room, it looked like—and breathed out, relieved; it wasn’t as packed in here, but their heart sank upon seeing Shadow talking to a hulking albatross who was about as tall as Vector; he was nervously tapping his fingers together while they spoke. Meridian straightened up to as tall as they could go, and putting on an air of false confidence, they strode towards the two, intending to catch Shadow’s attention. “Excuse me,” they said, not allowing their nervousness to show through as they tapped the hedgehog on the shoulder. The albatross and Shadow both turned to look at them, and Shadow craned his head up— Meridian was a whole head taller than him. 

Shadow tilted his head to regard Meridian with a quick look up and down, and Meridian swore they saw his nose twitch. If he could smell the leather, though, he didn’t comment. “Yes?” 

“...I don’t mean to interrupt,” they began. “I was just wondering where the drinks were. Vector told me they were in the kitchen, but I’ve never been to your house, so I’m not certain where the kitchen is. I _thought_ it was this room, but clearly not, ha.” Meridian tilted their head right back to Shadow. “Care to enlighten me?” 

Fake confidence seemed to be the way to go; Shadow pointed to another door while Meridian’s stomach unraveled itself. They felt like they could do anything right now, even as Shadow spoke and seemed wholly unaffected—though his nose was twitching suspicoiously. “Back there, hedgehog. What were you telling me about the pool, Storm?” 

Meridian left, hearing Storm stuttering something about Vector’s plan for the pool—and the last thing they heard was Shadow deliberating on putting a stop to it before the kitchen door swung shut. They had felt Shadow’s eyes on them the whole way to the door, and it felt amazing. They felt clean, and wanted.

The kitchen was fairly packed, but quieter; Meridian wasn’t actually sure what they had to drink in here, so they opted to ask the only person they recognized in the room. “Hey, Silver. What kind of drinks are here?” 

“We have—Oh,” Silver said, craning his neck. “Nice outfit, you really put together something cool. You’ll have to show Rouge, man, I bet she’d love to fawn over you! Uh, there’s lots of alcohol I’m not supposed to drink.” Silver made a face. “Blaze said I can’t drink, like I’m a baby. I’m _almost_ legal to drink, lighten up, right? Wait, how old are you?” Silver had the distinct smell of alcohol on his fur, clearly having drunk a drink or two already. Even if Meridian hadn’t smelled it, Silver was slurring his words just a little.

It took a second for them to think of an answer to Silver’s question. “... I’m not sure,” Meridian finally admitted, when they couldn’t remember. “I could be anywhere from twenty to thirty.” 

“How is it that big of a gap?” Silver gaped, mouth open in shock. 

Meridian just shrugged, deflating a bit. “I spent a lot of time out of time.” 

“Oh, I see. Well, I guess with credentials like that, drink whatever you want,” Silver snorted. “Doubt your girlfriend will stop you.” 

There was a beat of silence between them, ‘till Silver eventually put a horrified hand against his mouth. “I didn’t—not like that, sorry, shit man,” 

“... It’s okay. I know you didn’t mean it like that.” Meridian pushed the feeling down, because they knew Silver really didn’t mean it like that—Silver didn’t mean to throw Viola’s death in their face like it was just a funny joke, and Meridian had definitely stuck their foot in their mouth similarly back in their own timeline. They pushed down the sting in their chest. “I’ll just get some soda.” 

Silver nodded and grabbed a cup for Meridian, pouring some dark soda into it for them. “Are you enjoying yourself?” Silver asked, and without letting Meridian answer he continued. “How’s your ShadowQuest going?” 

The confident bubble in Meridian’s chest started to inflate again. “It’s going alright,” they said cautiously. “I saw him a couple of minutes ago. I think he liked my outfit... well, he didn’t say it, but he liked my dress, and I heard he likes leather, so... ” 

“You look killer, he better watch out!” Silver seemed to be trying to make up for their comment. They levitated a few ice cubes into the now-full cup and offered it to Meridian as someone else walked up to the ice chest. 

“Thanks. I’m going to go in the backyard; it’s too loud in the house for me, and I like being outside. Catch you later?” Meridian said, and Silver gave them a thumbs up—his other hand was full pouring a drink for the new arrival. 

Meridian took a big gulp of their soda, mostly to make it less full so they could walk without spilling it, then waded through people, searching for the backyard—hoping that Shadow was also there. Maybe they could… well, Meridian didn’t know, but they were winging it tonight. The panic could set in tomorrow when it was over, but tonight they were ignoring it; they wanted to live their life, not hide anymore, and this party was as good a place as any to start. 

It took a while, but they finally found the back door and could go outside into the fresh air, instead of the loud, stuffy, sweaty room full of dancing fur. There were less people out here, though Vector was doing laps in the pool in time to the pounding music that still carried out here. A pink swallow lounged on the roof of a gazebo, while a ripped green hawk stood near her, and both of them wore skates that reminded Meridian of Marmalade. How Marmalade skated everywhere, the same way Meridian loved to grind on rails... They were both watching the crocodile with disinterest. A dozen other people milled around while Meridian walked towards the gazebo, if only to have somewhere to sit. The bright flowers climbing its walls were inviting them. 

As Meridian looked around, they caught a piercing red eye—Shadow was out here too, and his eyes were locked on Meridian; they forced themselves to look back, pretending they were unruffled, unbothered—there was a loud crash and squawk as Meridian ran right into the green hawk. Their drink spilled on their feathers, and both the hawk and the swallow glared at Meridian indignantly. “Watch where you’re going!” the green one squealed. Meridian’s cheeks burned under their fur; they ran into someone and spilled a drink on them, which was bad enough—and Shadow had seen it. How embarrassing. 

“Sorry. I didn’t see you there,” Meridian told him, trying to apologize. “I’m s—” 

“Oh, so you think you’re intimidating just because you’re taller?” The hawk ruffled his feathers, and the swallow jumped down from the gazebo. 

“Hey, Jet, cool it,” she said. 

“You think you’re better than me?” Jet challenged. “Think you can push _me_ around?”

Meridian thought this reaction was highly unwarranted. “Hey, I just… accidentally bumped into you. I don’t want a fight. I just wanted to drink out here...” Meridian showed Jet their half-full cup, and Jet spluttered in indignation. 

“Whiskey?” Jet sneered, flexing his arm muscles a bit. “Think showing off your whiskey makes you macho? I could run circles around you, hedgehog, and I don’t need whiskey to look tough!” 

“I’m… sure you could,” Meridian said. Was this guy drunk? Or just an asshole? “What...ever. I’ll just go over here.” Meridian pointed behind them, twirling around to walk away—until they felt themselves grabbed by the waist and lifted up, up and over Jet’s head, held aloft with a hand on their back and a hand on their ass. Shocked, Meridian stared down at the hawk, taking in his triumphant expression. 

“Let’s see how big a cannonball I can make” Jet crowed, and Meridian dropped their drink as he started rushing towards the pool.

It took a solid second or two for Meridian to register that Jet was about to throw them right into the pool. Meridian’s eyes locked with Shadow’s again, and they wondered despite themself—how did they look right now? How embarrassing was this? Did Shadow think Meridian was being a jerk, when it was just a simple misunderstanding? 

In the next second, Meridian remembered something very important. Their outfit consisted of leather, and velvet. Two things that would be ruined if they got wet at all, and one of them was a loan. Their makeup would be ruined too… 

“Wait, hang on!” Meridian said, a note of panic in their voice. “You’re going to ruin my outfit, I wasn’t _challenging_ you or anything!” Meridian struggled, trying to get out of Jet’s hands, not wanting to use their powers on him and become the pariah of the party. If only they had powers like Marmalade, to summon skates at will… 

“Not my problem!” Jet crowed back, skidding to a stop at the edge of the pool. With his momentum, he tossed Meridian with all his might, and they went sailing towards the pool. All Meridian could see was their own feet before they covered their face as they somersaulted in midair, and the embarrassment they felt at being thrown unceremoniously into the pool like it was a stupid prank exploded out of them. 

Instead of landing _in_ the pool like they thought, Meridian heard a splash as they landed on top of it. They uncovered their eyes just in time to see the smirk being wiped off Jet’s face, though a ghost of it reappeared on Shadow’s. “Nice one, hedgehog.” Shadow said, with a slight nod. Clearly he approved of what just happened. 

Meridian was confused. Nice what? What did they do _this_ time? They were bobbing up and down like they were in a boat, but that didn’t make sense—this was a pool, and Vector was bobbing at the other end, yelling something at Jet. Looking down, Meridian tried to process what they were seeing. 

Meridian now had wicked, sharp purple bladed skates on their feet—skates they knew were a fast means of transportation, skates like Marmalade’s. Meridian couldn’t help but feel like the skates were a gift from Marmalade themself, because they looked so exactly like theirs, only made from the same sort of crackling energy that Meridian’s conjured whip was made of. 

“Ha!” Meridian exulted, feeling high on the adrenaline pulsing in their veins. They glanced back to Jet, then Shadow; they moved their legs and sliced through the water, feeling exhilarated. It wasn’t as fast as Marmalade—Meridian had a ton of quills to weigh them down, after all, but it was fast. Laughing lightly, they skated a lap around the pool, then another when Vector pumped a fist in the air and yelled encouragement to Meridian as they twirled and slid like an ice skater. It finally hit them how much they missed going fast… and they sent a silent thank you to Marmalade. 

After their third lap, Meridian finally jumped onto the solid ground next to Jet. “Don’t try that again,” they warned him, blood pounding in their ears as the adrenaline started to wear off—though they still felt high on confidence. They got rid of the skates, wondering at how easy it was—as easy as using their whip. 

Jet looked murderous, and he started flapping his wings angrily. “You wanna fight, then?” he yelled. 

To Meridian’s surprise, they heard Shadow’s voice right behind them, close enough they could almost feel him touching them. “That would be the dumbest idea you’ve had tonight, Jet. Which includes the assault that over a dozen people just witnessed. Shut up for a second—Meridian beat _me_ in a fight. Do you remember how you fared against me last time? Do you want to get your ass kicked in front of the whole party? By all means, make a scene—but you’d be better served swallowing your tongue and slinking off again and play it off like you were just drunk. You’d be lucky to even put a scratch on this one.” 

Jet scowled and opened his mouth to argue, but the swallow next to him clamped a hand over his beak. “Let’s skate, you don’t need to prove anything to this loser,” she said, sparing a glance at Meridian, then looking back to Jet. “Race you around the pool?” 

She had tried to change the subject, but Jet didn’t back down. “Only if this loser joins so I can grind them to dust!” Jet squawked after he ripped her hands off his beak. 

“No fighting at my house.” Shadow said firmly. Meridian felt a jolt as Shadow took their hand. “Come on, hedgehog. You’re going back inside. Jet, while intolerable when sober, is impossible to reason with while drunk. And he is _very_ drunk.” Shadow pulled them back to the house, only releasing their hand when they were safely back in the second living room; Shadow lingered next to them before disappearing, before Meridian had a chance to say thanks. Meridian wondered where he was going now—maybe to admonish Jet? 

Meridian was still confused why the green hawk was seeking a fight with them, but.. they were thrilled that they had a new power. As though to test it out, they tried to summon their skates again, hoping it wasn’t a fluke like some of their powers were; they jumped up a few inches as the purple skates materialized, then back down when they dissolved them again.

Feeling confident again, Meridian decided to socialize at the party, hoping there would be no more Jets to act like an asshole. They were enjoying things for once, dancing with a new drink and learning new moves. Enjoying themselves, until they sat at the bottom of the stairs to rest for a second; Meridian had just finished dancing with another friendly hedgehog, but they were tired from all the activity and needed to sit down. Someone else took the opportunity to sit on their lap, knees to either side of them. Meridian felt their chest shriveling, uncomfortable with this already, though they didn’t want to cause a scene. 

“I saw you dancing, you’re really good!” She said exuberantly, wrapping her arms around Meridian’s shoulders. She was mostly purple, with a light muzzle, and short quills that barely touched her shoulders. “Hi, I’m Bree.” 

“Hi, Bree. I’m Meridian.” They tried to shift her off them, but she held fast to their neck; sensing their discomfort, she laughed drunkenly. 

“Just wanted to see how else you move.” She nuzzled her face into Meridian’s neck, and they felt the bees crawling under their skin again, buzzing and sending danger signals to Meridian’s head. They tried to push her off, but she wrapped her legs around their waist and held on fast. “Don’t be a tease. Show me what’s under that dress of yours,” Bree whispered into their ear. “I caught a look earlier, y’know.”

She must have mistaken their shudder for a shiver of excitement, because Meridian felt her grinding against their dress. They felt sick, and nauseous—like they deserved it because they came to this party looking for attention, and weren’t they just being a tease if they didn’t give it up? 

Still. It felt wrong. Wrong when she grabbed Meridian’s wrists and pinned them to one of the stairs above them, bending Meridian against the wood so that their back dug into the stairs. All they felt was disgust—why did no one around them stop this? Couldn’t they see Meridian was struggling, trying to get away from this hedgehog they barely knew? Did they think Meridian wanted this?

Finally she kissed them, shoving her tongue in their mouth, and that was too much for Meridian. To hell with not being the pariah of the party; they locked her in time stasis and kicked her with their boot, making her fly at the opposite wall with a sickening crack. She was released from the stasis automatically, and Meridian heard her sputtering and crying to those nearest to her, but Meridian was already turning and scrabbling up the stairs, heart pounding, not wanting to hear her wailing to other people at the party. 

Meridian flung themselves inside the first closed door they saw, turning to slam it shut and lock it, breathing heavily. They were no stranger to people hitting on them… but that was the first time someone had forced it when Meridian hadn’t wanted it. They shuddered delicately, then turned around to see what room they’d invaded, leaning their back against the door to keep themselves upright, feeling unclean. 

Immediately, they locked eyes with Shadow, who was sitting in a reading chair in the corner of what must be his bedroom, one leg crossed over the other; he had half a sandwich in one hand, with one cheek puffed out like he had taken a bite, but not swallowed, and a book that he was no longer reading in the other hand. 

Meridian watched him swallow, and it was almost comical. Instead of saying anything, he just popped the rest of his sandwich in his mouth, seeming to wait for Meridian to explain themselves while he ate. Probably wondering why they locked the door, too. Did he think Meridian was being rude? 

All the confidence had left Meridian after the scene with Bree. “Sorry. Someone… didn’t take no for an answer, so I threw them into a wall and ran up here.” Meridian gave Shadow a watery smile, then shook their head. “I’m fine, just needed a minute. I’ll… be out of your fur soon,” 

“I don’t care if you’re in my room, hedgehog.” Though Shadow’s eyes flicked over to something on Meridian’s right, then back to Meridian. “Especially if some drunk idiot tried to sexually assault you.” He stood up and dropped the book in his chair, before unceremoniously disappearing into a door that must have led to an en-suite bathroom. 

He was gone so suddenly that Meridian blinked a few times, then they got worried. Did Shadow think Meridian was following him? They glanced to their right, and it took a couple of minutes to register what they were looking at, amid the sound of someone rustling around in the bathroom. 

Obviously it was a bed, but on that bed, looking innocent, were leather cuffs chained to the headboard. There was also what seemed to be a leather whip wrapped around the bedpost, right next to the cuffs. Clearly Shadow must have felt awkward that Meridian had seen something so personal...

Meridian’s face burned, and Shadow chose that moment to come back out. Before they lost their nerve, Meridian blurted out “Have I been bothering you tonight? Every… every time you see me, you leave the room. I’m not… stalking you, or anything, I never wanted to make you uncomfortable… I just wanted to feel...” Wanted to feel like they belonged here. Meridian looked down at themselves, hating the outfit now, feeling selfish, wondering if they made Shadow feel the way Bree just made them feel.

When they finally looked back up, Shadow was staring at them. “No, it wasn’t that,” he said slowly, as though choosing his words very carefully. “No, hedgehog, I left the room because I was electing _not_ to ravish you in front of a hundred or so people,” he said pointedly. “While it’s kind of you to worry about my feelings, it’s wholly unnecessary. I’m not a delicate flower.” 

It took a moment for what Shadow was saying to sink in. “You… wanted to—” Their entire face felt like it was on fire. 

“Ravish you, yes. I just have more restraint than a common animal.” Shadow sat back in his chair and picked up his book, rifling through to find the page he left off at and no longer looking at Meridian. “It _is_ an open invitation, so long as you’re wearing that. Don’t expect more than sex, though. You’ll be disappointed. I don’t date.” 

He peacefully read his book while Meridian processed what he had just said. Did they want to have sex with Shadow? The encounter with Bree was still fresh in their mind, but… Shadow wasn’t pushing them like she was. In fact, he seemed to be leaving it entirely up to them, and that made all the difference. Why should one drunk idiot ruin the night for Meridian? Especially an opportunity to feel normal. Meridian wanted to try. And they trusted Shadow would stop if they said stop.

Silently, they took off their boots so they could slip off their floral leggings; the purple garment was discarded on the floor, and Meridian pulled the boots back on, biting their lip, wondering if they would actually go through with it.

Only then did they notice that Shadow was eyeing them up. “I’m not ready for a relationship anyway,” Meridian told him. “But… I’m okay with sex, if I can call the shots.” Meridian took a deep breath. The music downstairs was just background to the pounding in their ears. 

Silently, Shadow stood up, discarding his book once more. Meridian watched as he slowly pulled off his white gloves, as well as his shoes, tossing them aside. They couldn’t help but notice he left the golden rings on his wrists, and Meridian wondered at why. “Safe word?” He asked suddenly, fiddling with the ring on his wrist, like he was making sure it wouldn’t come off. 

Put on the spot, Meridian froze. “Um… malady.” 

If Shadow thought that their choice of safe word was weird, he didn’t comment on it. He sat on the bed, and at his beckoning finger Meridian walked over to sit on his lap, marveling at how solid he felt; their knees were on either side of him, clutching at him with the smooth leather of the boots, and they felt Shadow run his hands up the back of their dress. His intense stare made Meridian blush and look down between them. They felt Shadow’s hands pushing their jacket off, then lifting their dress, and Meridian helped him by shimmying out of the velvet and discarding it on the floor. They started on the gloves, but Shadow stopped them.

“Keep the gloves, and the boots” Shadow commanded, and Meridian looked down at him shyly. It was Shadow who shut his eyes to kiss Meridian on the mouth, lightly tracing his tongue against theirs. He was shockingly gentle for someone who had a whip on their bedpost; he ran his hands up and down Meridian’s back, before dipping lower to fondle their ass. “Your fur is so soft,” 

Suddenly grateful that they had bought that new conditioner, Meridian smiled and explored those muscles they felt way back when, during their fight in the kitchen—when Shadow had them pinned to the wall, and they pushed him away. Their large hands brushed softly against Shadow’s chest, feeling the thick cords of muscle rippling beneath his fur. Marveling at the thick grey chest fluff that was as soft as their own. They felt his chest, then moved to his arms even as Shadow’s hands slid around to the front and cupped Meridian’s junk. The painful buzzing that happened any time they were touched was at the back of Meridian’s mind instead as they sighed and leaned their face against Shadow’s shoulder, enjoying the feeling of his hand palming such a sensitive area. 

Then Shadow laid backwards, pulling Meridian up with surprising power until his face was between their legs. He stuck his tongue out and licked a long striped up Meridian’s fur, and they shuddered; already, their cock was growing hard; if Shadow was surprised that Meridian had a cock, he didn’t show it—he was quick to wrap his mouth around it and take them into his throat, while Meridian’s thighs trembled. They squashed their knees against Shadow’s face, pressing the leather against his cheeks, and his nails dug into the sensitive skin and fur on Meridian’s thighs. 

He was good at this, and Meridian had not been with anyone for such a long time… they gripped fistfuls of Shadow’s dark quills, shivering. “I haven’t… I don’t think I’ll last long,” Meridian admitted, ashamed. “It’s been a long time.” 

Shadow pulled off of Meridian’s cock, but resumed licking it from base to tip. In between strokes, he said “I’m close, myself. I hope you’re a fan of weird,” 

“That’s… foreboding,” Meridian said, and they couldn’t help but bend forwards to rest their forehead on Shadow’s and laugh, even as they rocked their hips into Shadow’s face. It felt very sweet. “I can’t say I’m a stranger to weird. You’re blowing a hedgehog from a different timeline,”

“And you’re about to have sex with an alien.” Shadow grinned up at Meridian, relishing the look on their face as they processed what he said. Meridian gave another shudder as Shadow’s tongue caressed their cock expertly and wiped their brain blank. 

“I—” Meridian shivered. “That doesn’t bother me, but we need—I need you to stop, or I’m going to come.” 

Shadow stopped, allowing Meridian to climb off his face. He gripped the bedsheets and dragged himself towards the pillows, and once more relished the look on Meridian’s face at the sight they were given as Shadow spread his legs. 

He had warned Meridian about being an alien; it was another thing entirely to see it for themselves. He lounged against the pillow, legs spread, eyes lidded while his own flexible black and red cock pulsed in and out of his own pussy. His strong hands slowly rubbed against his thighs, and he groaned. “You’re too far away. I can’t smell you anymore. Come here,” he commanded again, and Meridian dragged themselves forward. Shadow smelled musky, but clean in a weird way; fresh, but heady. It was almost intoxicating.

Shadow breathed in deeply, then shut his eyes. On instinct, Meridian was drawn to sit between his legs and spread them even further, massaging his thighs. “This is so hot,” they blurted, then blushed beneath their fur. The unpleasant, painful buzzing actually felt really nice right now, like the pain was turning into pleasure.

“Mmmm.” came the response. Shadow had a fistful of bedsheets, and Meridian decided they wanted to make this alien lose his fucking mind. With one goal in mind, Meridian laid on their stomach and wrapped their arms around Shadow’s thighs to keep them wrenched open as far as they could get with false bravado. “I considered taking off my gloves for this… but I think you would enjoy it more with them on, wouldn’t you?” Meridian lightly ran two fingers down Shadow’s slit, and saw him melt into the pillows like putty. With a little more force, Meridian pushed a finger inside, massaging him, his cock, and his pussy at the same time. 

He was wet, wet enough that the leather glove slid easily across the blood-red hole with a slick, sticky noise. With their other hand, Meridian gripped the base of Shadow’s red-striped cock and pulled it out, feeling powerful when they heard Shadow grit his teeth; his hips rolled in a slow circle, waiting for Meridian, but Meridian reciprocated with a blowjob; they took the twisting, writhing cock and guided it into their mouth. 

It seemed to have a mind of its own; the moment it touched their lips, it lunged to the back of their throat and choked Meridian, pulsing. Meridian could only hear the sound of their own gagging, but they felt Shadow wrap his legs around their head. In the next moment, Shadow had switched their positions, rolling them both over until he was straddling Meridian’s face this time. There was a slight snarl on his lips as he braced himself against the bed with one hand, and thrust into Meridian’s mouth with a smooth rolling movement. 

“I can tell you don’t have much experience sucking cock, hedgehog. How would you like to stay down there for a few minutes? Hours? Weeks? It would be good—” he thrust again. “—practice,” he finished.

Meridian tried to answer, but they had a mouth full of cock, and their answer didn’t matter anyway. With a feral sigh, Shadow used their free hand to fist one of Meridian’s quills and jerk their head forward. “You look so beautiful with your mouth around my cock.”

Not wanting to let Shadow do all the work, Meridian just barely managed to stick their tongue out around his cock and lick the top of his slit too. At the same time, Meridian used the advantage of being taller than Shadow to reach up and shove two of their gloved fingers into his mouth. He bit down and Meridian’s eyes watered, both from the pain, and because they needed to breathe. 

With a gasp Meridian pulled Shadow’s cock from their mouth, coughing and spluttering on a copious amount of fluid. Even while they coughed, his cock caressed their face tenderly, stark contrast to the aggressive way he was biting the leather. To give themself a moment to breathe, Meridian licked Shadow’s cock once, twice, before dipping their head down to shove their tongue in his pussy. They traced the outside, using one hand to occupy his cock while they teased his hole. 

Meridian felt Shadow’s tongue licking and sliding against the leather in his mouth, in tandem with how Meridian’s tongue was licking and sliding against him. The synchronicity was almost as hot as the sex itself; being in tune with someone else was so strange, but welcome for Meridian. 

They tightened their hold on Shadow’s jaw, and savored his reaction when he clenched his thighs more tightly around their face. Meridian guided Shadow’s cock back to his own hole, sharing the space with their tongue and going by Shadow’s hisses and bites of pleasure when they did something right, 

Only a short few minutes passed before Shadow spat out Meridian’s spit-soaked fingers. “If you keep doing that, I’m going to cum,” Shadow told them, jaw clenched as he made no effort to stop riding Meridian’s face and his own cock. 

“What’s the problem,” Meridian managed to mumble through a mouthful of pussy. They felt very proud of themselves, and just a little cocky. 

“I want to cum on your cock,” Shadow said bluntly. With superhuman effort (he _must_ have been an alien), he pulled his cock out and moved away from Meridian, sitting instead on Meridian’s legs, breathing hard. His cock twisted around Meridian’s cock instead, lightly jerking them off—and lubing them up, not that either of them needed lubrication, judging by the state of Shadow’s pussy. Or he just wanted Meridian to be as close as he was. 

It was fascinating—and really hot—to watch Shadow’s cock twist around Meridian’s to guide it to his wet slit, no hands necessary. Meridian reached one long arm behind them and grabbed a black-covered pillow to rest their tired head against, finally throwing their head back and shutting their eyes. They lifted their knees so Shadow could rest against them, and rub the leather with both hands. 

More sudden than anything else, Shadow plunged down, sinking Meridian in as deep as they could go with one jolt, and a heady grunt. With a gasp Meridian opened their eyes, just in time to watch Shadow lift himself up, then slam back down—his own cock still firmly twisted around Meridian’s, squeezing it tightly even as they fucked. It was like nothing they had ever felt before, and they had to bite the meaty party of their hand to keep from crying out. 

That wasn’t good enough for Shadow; he snarled and ripped Meridian’s hand out of their mouth, pinning it to the bed while he loomed over them. “Look at me,” he growled again. 

“I thought I was topping, not you,” Meridian said weakly. It was only a joke, though; they wouldn’t trade this feeling for anything, and they looked into Shadow’s eyes with the ghost of a smile on their face, and had it returned with a smirk. 

“You don’t seem to want me to stop,” Shadow said, rolling his hips even as he pinned Meridian. “I’m not going to stop until you cum, and I cum, and you cum again,” 

“Overestimating me, are we?” Meridian used their free hand to stick their thumb in Shadow’s mouth again to clench his jaw almost painfully. “Shut up and ride, before I use that whip on you.” 

Even the threat of it seemed to make Shadow shudder and squeeze. “Bet you don’t even know how to use it.” 

“... My main weapon is a whip.” Meridian was actually amused this time, and they thrust up to meet Shadow’s hips. “You’ve seen it before, remember?” 

“Vividly. Kick my ass,” he said, slightly muffled by the thumb in his mouth. 

“Maybe next time.” Meridian shivered, and their eyes fluttered shut again. “I’m… shit—” they moaned. 

“I want to watch you cum,” Shadow demanded they open their eyes again, and it was Meridian’s turn to shudder as they obliged him. Red met purple, and even as Meridian wanted to look away, they didn’t dare. 

“Aah—fuck,” Meridian swore, biting their lip. They were panting and breathing just as hard as Shadow, until finally they had the most intense, ripping orgasm of their life; they froze, gritting their teeth, trying so hard not to look away. Watching Meridian cum, combined with the fullness of their pussy pushed Shadow over the edge as well, and he swore as he threw his head back, tearing Meridian’s fingers from his mouth and growling deep in the back of his throat. Meridian felt him pulse too as he came inside of himself, filling him up until he couldn’t hold anymore. The excess overflowed, soaking Meridian’s fur in a sticky mess they knew would rip out some fur when they cleaned it later, but they couldn’t bring themselves to care right now; they had just pumped enough cum inside Shadow to sink a battleship. ‘Giving a fuck about the mess’ was the last thing on their mind.

Meridian shivered, trying to pull out their now-sensitive cock, but Shadow kept them right where they were with a firm thrust, seating himself back onto their cock up to the hilt. “I’m not done with you yet.” 

“That—it’s sensitive,” Meridian said, trembling and looking up at Shadow with lidded eyes. Their heart was still pounding, and from his hand still pinning their own wrist down, they could tell Shadow’s was racing just as hard. Even so, Meridian rolled their hips and closed their eyes, trying not to let the pleasure morph into pain. It was an odd feeling, teetering on the edge like this; every nerve telling them to stop because it was too much, but it seemed Shadow knew what he was doing—because Meridian was definitely getting hard again, refractory period or not. 

Sure, they weren’t _rock hard_ like they were earlier, but they weren’t so soft that they couldn’t perform again, and it was Shadow who was milking that performance from them anyway so it was his own fault if he couldn’t work with it. 

Freeing both of their hands, Meridian took hold of Shadow’s shoulder and gripped it tightly, turning the tables on him. “Lay down,” they demanded, forcefully guiding him down to lay on his back, quills splayed on the pillows. Meridian sat on their heels, kneeling between Shadow’s legs, one black leg hitched under their arm and resting on their hip. Shadow smirked up at them. 

“Did I underestimate you?” Shadow asked, using his cock to milk Meridian’s while both were still seated inside him. Even while Meridian loomed over him, one arm braced against the bed while the other held a tight grip on his leg, Shadow was still holding all the cards; it was Meridian’s desire to get the upper hand that made them top like this—because they finally understood what Shadow was goading them into, or at least they _thought_ they did. 

Meridian didn’t have a problem with Shadow being in control; they just sensed that, on some level, Shadow wanted them to fight him. That’s why he was pushing, and pushing, and pushing. Sonic’s words from earlier bounced around in their head; _That stunt in the kitchen probably got him more excited than he’s been in fifty years._ They were taking a risk, going off Shadow’s own cues and acting around them; even mixing the reality of their fight with a kink was risky, but it felt right. It was an exhilarating game of one-upmanship, and Meridian could tell that Shadow wanted them to win it. Meridian knew all too well how easy it was to allow someone else to take the lead. How relieving it is to surrender it all, while giving it your best effort. To put something in someone else’s hands, for once. 

Yes, Meridian finally felt in-sync with Shadow’s needs, wordless as they were; Shadow needed someone to fight him, so he could finally lose control—rife as his life was with worry and stress about protecting the planet. Meridian needed to be in control so that for one brief night, they didn’t feel helpless, powerless to stop their own fate from taking away everything they loved. To finally have control over something when everything was spinning further and further away from them. 

Hoping that their gut instinct was right, Meridian took the hand that they were using to prop themselves up on the bed, carefully balancing even as their gloved hand shot up to Shadow’s mouth to clutch his jaw between their fingers. “You can safe word any time,” Meridian whispered lowly, shifting the both of them so that Shadow was bent almost uncomfortably. Meridian was quite comfortable now though, and they made sure Shadow could still talk through the grip they had on his jaw.

“You think I need the safe word?” Shadow tried to scoff around Meridian’s fingers, and they held on tighter. 

“Of course I do,” Meridian said, playing along. “I could break you like a twig. What was it you told Jet earlier? I beat you in a fight? Didn’t take much to make you admit it.” 

Shadow only bit down on their fingers in response, and a thin trickle of spit escaped through his clenched teeth. 

Though Meridian was taking control, they were still wholly uninterested in being more rough than this; the whip actually scared them a little, to be frank, despite knowing how to use one. So instead, Meridian took the opposite route. They dropped Shadow’s leg, and he instinctively wrapped it around Meridian’s waist tighter, freeing up Meridian’s other hand for them. They reached between them and Shadow, unraveling his pulsing tentacle cock from their own, so they could slowly squeeze it from base to tip. 

While they jerked him off, Meridian pulled out slowly, then slammed their hips back into Shadow’s in a slow torment—easy enough when he had two loads of cum keeping him soaking wet and easy to fuck. With difficulty, Shadow tried to talk around Meridian’s hand. “I told you I’m not a delicate flower, hedgehog. I can take it rough.” 

“You’re not the one calling the shots anymore,” Meridian told him boldly, from some hidden reserve of audacity they didn’t know they had. They felt his cock twitch and still, while his pussy clutched them like a vice, and they took a chance on one more, potentially cheesy, line. “I’ll go faster when you beg.” 

They watched Shadow’s eyes narrow at the challenge, and Meridian looked back with a pleased smile—especially when they saw Shadow’s eyes had crossed briefly on the next painfully slow thrust. “In your dreams, hedgehog. I can just—”

“If you try to turn the tables on me again,” Meridian said, getting a sudden idea and cutting him off, “I can just put you in time stasis again and do whatever I want.” 

Meridian would never do that to Shadow, of course—but he didn’t need to know that. They ignored how hard he was biting their fingers in favor of squeezing his cock particularly hard. “You were so quick to fill yourself with both of us at once. I bet it’s not so satisfying now… but I feel great.” Sure enough, Meridian was completely hard again, all due to how tightly Shadow was trying to grip their cock as they teased him—trying to regain the last vestige of control. 

Shadow sucked a lungful of air through his teeth, and Meridian felt like he was starting to crack; there were visible, vulnerable chinks in his armor now—the way his free hand opened and closed on nothing, the way his leg slipped lower on Meridian’s hip, even the way he closed his eyes, so starkly different from his demands that Meridian look him in the eye earlier. Meridian knew all too well the power of eye contact in establishing dominance; they found it hard to make eye contact at the best of times for similar reasons, never wanting to seem cocky. 

“I could do this all night,” they said, even as Shadow tried to force Meridian to speed up by pushing into him. Meridian just pulled away at the same time, keeping only the tip of their cock inside of Shadow. They stopped jerking him off, pinning his cock down instead to keep it from moving—but they used their thumb to rub the top outer rim of his pussy, hoping he had a clit there _somewhere._

He must’ve, because Meridian felt him tighten even more around the head of their cock as his hips sought to pull them deeper. Finally, a growl, and Shadow opened his eyes by the slightest increment to glare up at Meridian, the picture of forced submission; he was twisted into a half-uncomfortable position, head tilted from ear to shoulder, jaw aching from Meridian’s grip. Glaring, but he said “Get on with it, hedgehog. I don’t have all night.” Almost begging, but not quite; just one last snap, even as he was being chained down. 

“I could lock this entire room from the flow of time and keep you here as long as I like. You do, in fact, have all night.” Meridian smiled, fully aware that that was Shadow’s last-ditch attempt. Meridian let his jaw go, lightly resting their hand on Shadow’s throat instead. They didn’t use hard pressure—Meridian didn’t know how to safely choke someone, and they didn’t want to actually _kill_ him, but the light pressure was just enough of a reminder to make Shadow try one more futile attempt to roll his hips.

When it failed again, Meridian teased the thrashing tip of his cock with one finger, hoping that it was similarly sensitive to their own; they had no information about whatever alien biology Shadow had, so they were winging it to see what stuck. Finally, the reaction they wanted; “Please.” 

“Please what?” Meridian asked. They fisted his cock, clenching it a little tighter than they would do normally. “Please stop?” 

They heard Shadow’s jaw click as he gritted his teeth, and finally broke and begged like Meridian told him to. “I need you to fuck me properly, hedgehog. Please. Faster—harder.” 

Considering they had only talked about safe words and that was it, nothing pertaining to kinks and limits, Meridian assumed they were doing an okay job with the information they had—but they were reluctant to push it any further without an in-depth conversation about limits, so Meridian felt it was best to not push it. Finally, when Shadow had begged and looked up at Meridian, exposing that vulnerability, they seated themself fully inside of him, groaning lightly and shutting their eyes; Shadow let out a stuttering moan in response that was cut off when Meridian squeezed his neck a little more tightly. Their other hand released Shadow’s cock, and they felt what little wiggle room they had inside of him shrink as he plunged inside next to Meridian and filled himself to the brim with his own dick. 

Meridian matched Shadow’s hips and finally fucked him rough and hard like he wanted, using his neck as leverage to pull him down onto their cock. Wordlessly, they groaned and moaned together, until Meridian finally collapsed on top of Shadow and hugged him tightly to their chest, holding on tightly as they trembled and came inside Shadow for the second time that night. They felt Shadow melt underneath them, before he came too; his grunt was much louder now that Meridian was laying on top of him. Their ears twitched beneath their quills, drinking in Shadow’s sounds as he came—they didn’t know if this would ever happen again, and they wanted to savor this moment for the future. They wanted to remember the breathtakingly hot way Shadow sounded when he came. 

It seemed Shadow was of the same mind as they were, because neither of them spoke or moved for minutes; Meridian just lay with their head in the crook of Shadow’s neck, breathing deeply and coming down from two exhausting orgasms. Shadow was the one who moved first—only to wrap his arms around Meridian and hold them there, despite how sticky and sweaty they both were. 

Even in the hot room it felt nicely pleasant and warm… and Meridian was so tired, and their head wasn’t buzzing anymore… and Shadow’s bed was so much comfier than Knuckles couch… yawning widely, Meridian nudged their leg between Shadow’s to get comfortable as they fell asleep (maybe trapping him as well), only dimly aware of Shadow tugging the blanket up over them both with the limited way he could move now. 

If he’d wanted to do anything else that night, he should have thought of that before allowing Meridian to fall asleep on him. 

It was his own fault, really.


	6. Chaos Sickness

Sometime in the morning Shadow must have freed himself from beneath Meridian, because he wasn’t in bed when Meridian woke up. Groggy, they blindly sought him out with one arm, only to find nothing but the red and black blankets and pillows in the hazy light barely peeping through the curtains.

Meridian felt sticky, and slightly sweaty; remembering what happened last night, it was clear to them why they felt grody. Weirdly, they were no longer wearing the leather gloves or boots—had they taken them off at some point? They could solve that mystery later; right now all they wanted was a shower. They sat up, ignoring the disorienting pounding in their head to glance around the red and black room, in case Shadow was still here. 

He wasn’t, but they didn’t really expect him to be… not after being told by Sonic, and Shadow himself, that Shadow doesn’t do romance. Meridian was okay with that—they just wanted to ask if they could use the shower, really. It was rude to just assume… 

As though in answer, as soon as they had the thought, Meridian spotted a folded paper on the bedside table with their name on it in small, neat handwriting. It stood up like a birthday card, and they grabbed it to see what was inside. 

The first thing that caught their attention was that Shadow seemed to write in all capitals, though they were short and squat letters. They focused on the message instead of the handwriting, knowing they’d be stuck admiring the even loops and sharp lines if they did. 

_ᴡʜᴇɴ ɪᴛ ᴄᴏᴍᴇs ᴛᴏ ᴄʟᴇᴀɴɪɴɢ, sᴏɴɪᴄ ɪs ᴜᴛᴛᴇʀʟʏ ᴜsᴇʟᴇss, ᴇᴠᴇɴ ᴡʜᴇɴ ʜᴇ ᴘʀᴏᴍɪsᴇs ᴛᴏ ᴄʟᴇᴀɴ ᴜᴘ ᴀғᴛᴇʀ ʜɪᴍsᴇʟғ. ɪ ᴡᴏᴋᴇ ᴜᴘ ᴇᴀʀʟʏ ᴛᴏ ᴇɴsᴜʀᴇ ᴍʏ ʜᴏᴍᴇ sᴛᴀʏᴇᴅ ᴀ ᴅɪsᴀsᴛᴇʀ ᴢᴏɴᴇ ғᴏʀ ᴀs ʟɪᴛᴛʟᴇ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ᴀs ᴘᴏssɪʙʟᴇ.  
ᴜsᴇ ᴍʏ sʜᴏᴡᴇʀ, ɪғ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡɪsʜ. ɪ sᴜsᴘᴇᴄᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ ɪɴ ᴅɪʀᴇ ɴᴇᴇᴅ ᴏғ ᴏɴᴇ.   
ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴏᴜᴛғɪᴛ ɪs ᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅʀʏ ᴄʟᴇᴀɴᴇʀs. ɪ ᴇsᴛɪᴍᴀᴛᴇ ɪᴛ ɪs ᴅᴏɴᴇ ʙʏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀᴋᴇ ᴜᴘ.   
ɪ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ ᴛʜᴀᴛ’s ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴛʜɪɴɢ. ɪ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ғᴏʀᴡᴀʀᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴀ ʀᴇᴘᴇᴀᴛ ᴘᴇʀғᴏʀᴍᴀɴᴄᴇ ɪғ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏ. ɪ’ᴍ ɪɴᴛʀɪɢᴜᴇᴅ ʙʏ ᴛʜᴇ ɴᴇᴀʀ-ɪɴғɪɴɪᴛᴇ ᴘᴏᴛᴇɴᴛɪᴀʟ ᴏғ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴘᴏᴡᴇʀs._

_sʜᴀᴅᴏᴡ_

It was brief and to the point—nothing Meridian didn’t expect of Shadow, though they were surprised that he took Meridian’s clothes to the dry cleaners. Did he take them off of Meridian while they were sleeping? And that last line… a rush of heat shot through Meridian, and they felt pleased. 

Shadow had _liked_ it. Enough that he didn’t mind a “repeat performance”. 

Meridian’s pleasure was cut short when they remembered how their fur was crusted with sweat and… well, they wrinkled their nose and put the note back on the table. Definitely shower time. 

His bathroom, while not lavish, was a relaxing place to be; everything was dark grey marble or granite, with black or gold accent colors. Meridian had never seen such a dark bathroom before, but they had to admit while they showered that it was not at all surprising, for Shadow at least. Or was it normal here…? 

They didn’t know, and they didn’t think it mattered enough to ask. 

After washing away the grime of the night and drying their fur, Meridian felt much better, and much more awake. They made sure all their makeup was off before leaving and making their way downstairs, looking significantly more fluffy than when they woke up. The moment they stepped downstairs though, a white and tan blur in a bathrobe assaulted them. 

“Oh _hello_ dear! So nice to see you again!” Rouge fluttered her wings and started smoothing Meridian’s fur down, clicking her tongue approvingly. She seemed to have forgotten their aversion to being touched, but Meridian didn’t push her away. “My my, _you_ certainly clean up better than _Shadow_. After _his_ showers, he looks and acts like a wet noodle.” She tittered and Meridian smiled back at her. 

“...Guess I’m fluffier,” they said, peering around her to where they knew the kitchen was. “Did you get everything cleaned up…? I can help,” 

“Oh _no _dear, we got everything cleaned up _ages _ago.” She laughed again, then grabbed Meridian’s hand to pull them to the kitchen. As short as she was, she was surprisingly strong. “You must be _starving _, let me make you some eggs.” She pulled them into the kitchen, and Meridian locked eyes with Shadow—he smirked ever so slightly, and Meridian managed a smile.______

______“I think they’re capable of walking, Rouge.” Shadow sipped at a cup of coffee and let his eyes stray back to the book he was reading, seeming completely at ease._ _ _ _ _ _

______Rouge stuck her tongue out at him and carried herself to the fridge, bending over to dig out the eggs while Meridian sat down. “Morning,” they said._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Good morning. Cream called,” Shadow said, wasting no time on pleasantries. “Silver told her you were here. She’s going to teach you how to take care of a chao today, so you should go back to Knuckles’ apartment soon.” He eyed Meridian up and down, as though wishing that weren’t the case. “Without access to the chao gardens, it won’t be easy, but I’m sure you can manage it, hedgehog.” He looked back down at his book, letting Meridian chew on the hidden compliment._ _ _ _ _ _

______“... Thanks,” Meridian said. Rouge plugged her phone up to a speaker and turned some music on a low volume, humming while she made breakfast for Meridian. Just like with Knuckles, it was one of the rare times they didn’t feel any pressure to fill the silence—both Rouge and Shadow seemed content with it, and Meridian reasoned that Rouge was probably used to it, since Shadow didn’t seem to be the talkative type._ _ _ _ _ _

______“How do you like your eggs, sweetie?” She poked at the eggs with a spatula, sliding them around the pan. “I’m _terrible_ at sunny side up, just so you know which one you don’t want.” She tittered and waved the spatula playfully at them. _ _ _ _ _ _

______“... Over medium is fine.” Meridian didn’t like runny egg whites anyway._ _ _ _ _ _

______She finished the eggs and slid them onto a plate with a couple of pieces of toast for Meridian. After thanking her, they ate their breakfast in silence—only broken when Shadow brought them their now-clean outfit—and then said their goodbyes. Rouge made them promise to visit again before they left back to Sonic and Knuckles’ apartment, now wearing just the leather boots and jacket; they didn’t have any other clothes, and they didn’t want to get the dress dirty on the walk to the apartment._ _ _ _ _ _

______Halfway back home and Meridian got an idea. Willing their new skates back into existence, they balanced on them carefully, making sure there was no one ahead of them before they started to run._ _ _ _ _ _

______It was exhilarating to finally travel quickly instead of walking everywhere; the wind blowing their quills back was just as nice as it felt when they traveled by rails. With ease and grace, Meridian glided across the concrete like it was ice, taking longer and longer strides until they felt a strain on their muscles. It felt good to stretch like this._ _ _ _ _ _

______They dipped between people, sliding around them easily. In almost no time Meridian was back at the apartment, and they got rid of their rollerblades so they could climb the stairs._ _ _ _ _ _

______It felt kind of silly to knock, when they were living here… they opened the door and walked inside, greeted by the familiar sight of Tails and Knuckles working on the machine. Sonic was lounging on the couch, watching his phone intently. One knee crossed over the other and Sirel was sitting on his shoe as he idly bounced his foot. When Meridian walked in, he smirked so wide that Meridian was sure his teeth were about to fall out._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Long night?” Sonic asked smugly, even when Knuckles spared a second to glare at him._ _ _ _ _ _

______“It was late, so I stayed the night.” Meridian evaded Sonic’s unspoken question and plucked Sirel off his shoe to spend some time with the chao._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Really? I didn’t see you anywhere while I was cleaning up,” Sonic continued, smirking wider._ _ _ _ _ _

______“That doesn’t mean much,” Knuckles snapped at him, saving Meridian from answering. “I’ve seen the way you clean, Sonic. You’d miss your hand if it wasn’t attached to you,”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Aww, I’m not _that_ bad at cleaning, Knux.” Sonic rolled his eyes and left Knuckles looking like he was struggling with a barely-contained incredulity. Meridian half expected Knuckles was going to go into Sonic’s room, gather up a box of trash, and dump it on Sonic to prove a point—but Knuckles would have to clean it up later, and Meridian assumed that was the only thing stopping him. _ _ _ _ _ _

______Instead of giving Sonic the one thousand currently-festering-in-his-room reasons he was incorrect, Knuckles turned back to the machine to help Tails. Meridian decided it was safe to talk. “Cream is coming over today, I think. Silver told her I was at Shadow’s, and she called him while I was sleeping.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Good. Bet she has a crib that can contain the little monster,” Knuckles said, glancing at the chao with affectionate eyes. “They figured out how to climb out of the blanket fort.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Did they? Smart,” Meridian said, poking Sirel in their dimpled cheek. “I wonder what they’re going to be when they evolve..?” Meridian asked idly. “I don’t know what kind of power crystals they hung around back….” they trailed off. Back home is what they wanted to say, before remembering their home was gone. “I’m going to go change,” they said abruptly, taking their regular shoes from next to the door and leaving to change in the bathroom._ _ _ _ _ _

______After they changed, they quietly hung out in the living room for the next hour, playing with Sirel on the couch while Sonic napped until there was a knock on the door. Before Meridian could make the decision on answering or letting someone else do it, Knuckles opened the door for them. “Hey Vanilla, Cream, Cheese.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Hi Knuckles!” A soft, wispy, breathy voice replied. “I heard you found a chao!” Meridian could see her trying to peer around Knuckles, excited, and the echidna stepped aside to let them in._ _ _ _ _ _

______Two rabbits entered the apartment, one of them clearly only barely a teenager, with a plain blue and yellow chao flying around her head. The taller one was a carbon copy of her, the biggest difference being that her face was lined with age—Meridian guessed she was probably Cream’s mother, and it sent a sharp pang through Meridian’s heart; they looked away from the two, going back to their normal quiet, awkward self in the face of something painful. They couldn’t even bring themselves to correct her, that it was _Meridian_ who had found Sirel—but Knuckles was the type to set the record straight for them anyway. _ _ _ _ _ _

______“Nah, that was Meridian.” Knuckles jerked a thumb over his shoulder, at the general vicinity of the couch. “We’ve got a Silver situation going on.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“You could call it a code chrono,” Vanilla said, and Meridian looked up just in time to see her flashing a smile while her daughter and Knuckles laughed._ _ _ _ _ _

______“If it keeps happening we may as well.” Knuckles shrugged. “You bring anything I need to carry up?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Vanilla and Knuckles began to talk about what all they brought as they exited the apartment, until it was just Meridian and Cream left. Sonic had left to take a nap almost an hour ago, so Meridian was on their own… and Cream looked like she was about to explode. The chao—Cheese?—was tugging on her ear and pointing at Sirel._ _ _ _ _ _

______Before they could open their mouth to say hello, Cream’s dam burst. “Oh, you _have_ to tell me what happened! Where did you find them?” Cream asked in her breathy voice. “The chao dimension is almost impossible to get to!” _ _ _ _ _ _

______“... I came from a timeline where that wasn’t the case,” Meridian said quietly. They didn’t want to get into the specifics, not right now… “The city was like one big chao garden, but now they’re—”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“—in another dimension,” Cream said, her eyes shining brightly. “Shadow has taken me there a couple of times, but it’s not easy. I can’t even imagine having chao everywhere, you’re so lucky you got to experience that.” Cream plopped down on the couch next to Meridian; Cheese followed her, perching on the back of it. “Can I hold them? Please? What’s their name? Oh, look at their cute little markings. They look like purple glasses,”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Meridian set Sirel in her lap before they answered. “I named them Sirel. It was a purple flower in my timeline.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“What a nice name.” Cream poked at Sirel’s jiggling, transluscent belly, then squished the emotive little ball above their head, almost like an examination. “Silver said you don’t know much about chao?” she questioned, looking innocently at Meridian. They told themself that Cream had no idea how ashamed they were, she had no idea that it hurt when it was put that way._ _ _ _ _ _

______Still, they looked away. “...I don’t.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“It’s okay,” she said softly, in that same whispery voice, already picking up on Meridian’s feelings. “Everyone starts somewhere, right?” She waited until Meridian looked back at her to flash them a bright smile. “Your chao is a shiny chao, you’re really lucky. They’re a little fragile, like jellyfish… but they’re also beautiful.” She poked one of Sirel’s light green stripes to watch them sparkle. “And really, really rare.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“I never paid much attention to the chao, so I didn’t know that...” Meridian admitted. “I picked this one up because... “ Because everyone else was dying, they wanted to say, but it sounded so terrible. “...Because they’re the only one I could save.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Even that sounded melodramatic. Meridian winced, but Cream didn’t say anything mean about it. She just cooed at Sirel and they cooed back before continuing. “They’re very lucky to have you, then. You’re doing great,” she encouraged them. “Shiny chao need a little bit of extra care. They’re more like slimes than normal chao like Cheese, because they’re a different species of chao.” As if to illustrate her point, Cheese fell solidly into Meridian’s lap, much less jiggly and shiny than Sirel. “They absorb toxins through their skin, like an amphibian, so don’t put them in dirty water….”_ _ _ _ _ _

______She started going through a list of chao facts and how to take care of Sirel as Knuckles and Vanilla brought stuff inside—a small crib, some toys, a basin Cream mentioned was to bathe them… eventually, Meridian’s head was spinning so Cream wrote stuff down while she talked, while Vanilla offered her own tips and insight for them._ _ _ _ _ _

______While they were talking, Cheese and Sirel started having their playdate; Sirel could only crawl, so Cheese mimicked them instead. He even took off his red bowtie and put it on Sirel, then showed Sirel how to play with their new toys while the adults (and Cream) talked. By the time Cream and Vanilla had armed Meridian with all the knowledge they would need to take care of Sirel, Sirel had learned how to _play_ with the toy cars, dolls, rattles, and other stuff instead of just throwing them and making dents in the wall for Knuckles to scowl at while he set up the new tiny bed. _ _ _ _ _ _

______They stayed for a few hours just to hang out with Knuckles as well as Sonic, who woke up sometime in the middle of the afternoon, while Meridian quietly stayed as the afterthought—though they were kept busy by Sirel, who had a newfound fascination with the chaos emerald and they kept wanting to lick and play with it, now that they could climb and play. Meridian tried not to wince when Vanilla and Cream had a beautiful mother-daughter moment here and there, and they only stiffened up a little bit when she leaned down to give them a motherly hug as they were leaving._ _ _ _ _ _

______Things were fine, for a while. Over the course of a month Meridian hung out with Amy and Silver most of the time they were outside—Amy because she was such a happy hedgehog that Meridian could avoid thinking about hard stuff for a while, and Silver because he understood how Meridian felt. While they were home (when they weren’t keeping Sirel away from the emerald) they preferred Knuckles’ company because he also understood how Meridian felt, on a deeper level, though Meridian didn’t know the details of why he could empathize._ _ _ _ _ _

______Tails was also good for conversation, and Meridian had a few long talks with them about metaphysical relativity that cleared a room as fast as Sonic’s legs could go. Meridian started doing food delivery now that they had fast transportation, so they weren’t just mooching off Sonic and Knuckles with no way to repay them. There were even some amazing nights where they took Shadow up on his offer, and bit by bit Meridian picked up the pieces of their life. They were getting better about being touched, better about their negative thoughts, becoming a better person…_ _ _ _ _ _

______It was one bad-day-turned-bad-night when everything hit Meridian at once; even though they had been doing better, it could only hold for so long until the feelings they refused to let out demanded to be felt. When Meridian woke up from a nightmare, shivering and dry heaving, they knew that this uphill battle wasn’t as easy as just putting the past behind them._ _ _ _ _ _

______Even if they didn’t think about all the things they missed, they wouldn’t forget it. It would haunt their dreams like tonight, demanding to be seen and heard and felt again and again. How could the blood in their mouth taste so real?_ _ _ _ _ _

______Meridian sat up on the couch, rocking back and forth, trying without much success to stop thinking about it. Was it really a dream, or was it worse? Was it a new time power manifesting? Could they see into their old timeline now? In their nightmare, they were drowning in the blood of every mobian they’d left back in their timeline—was this just a vision of what they’d left behind? It’s not like Meridian had much control over their powers._ _ _ _ _ _

______It was hard to stop the percolating thoughts. Meridian dug their nails into their face, wishing they could tear their eyes out—better yet, their brain. If they had to feel responsible for every mistake they’ve ever made, they didn’t want it intact anymore. Now they were crying, making embarrassingly loud choked sounds, and in the back of their head they dimly registered that this must be what a panic attack is. They had been on the verge of one for a month now, but expecting it and experiencing it were two entirely different things. They didn’t care how loud they were, if it would make the pain stop; it felt like being chewed up by razor blades from the inside, leaving them bloody and raw. They couldn’t see how to make the pain stop without clawing it out of their chest._ _ _ _ _ _

______They didn’t notice when someone sat next to them in the dark, but their muscles locked up when they felt someone prying their hands away from their face with surprising gentleness. They were reluctant to let go of their skin, certain they would fall to pieces if they weren’t holding themselves together, but their silent companion was a lot stronger than they were._ _ _ _ _ _

______Meridian was shaking like a leaf when they opened their eyes and looked down at Knuckles kneeling on the floor, firmly gripping their hands in his. Their hands were shaking so bad that it was hard to tell, but—was that blood on their hands real? Or was it just their imagination? In the faint light from the hallway it looked disturbingly real…_ _ _ _ _ _

______“You’re hurting yourself, stop it.” Knuckles finally said. He squeezed Meridian’s hands a little tighter. “What’s wrong?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Before they could answer, the hall light was blocked for a second, until Sonic jumped over the back of the couch to sit next to Meridian, yawning. Meridian must have been making a lot of noise to wake up _Sonic_ , and the shame of everything they’d been hiding for the past weeks hit them. A fresh wave of tears soaked their fur, and their teeth chattered, but they both stayed until Meridian had stopped shaking so badly and they could speak. It took what felt like a long time. “I’m s-sorry, I didn’t want to wake you up,” _ _ _ _ _ _

______“Naw, it’s okay. ‘S important.” Sonic yawned again, then stretched his arm out to drape it across Meridian’s shoulders in a tight side hug. “Hard to tell in the dark, but ya really did a number on yourself, huh?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“I.. w-what?” Meridian tugged on one of their hands, wanting to touch their face, but Knuckles kept hold of their hands and shook his head._ _ _ _ _ _

______“You were scratching up your face and chest,” Knuckles told them. “That’s where the blood came from.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______So they hadn’t imagined the blood? They weren’t going nuts? Then why did they feel so crazy? They tried to apologize again, but Sonic interrupted them. “It’s really okay, Mer. Knuckles and I expected this to happen sometime. It’s like, a requirement to hang out with us to have some kind of breakdown I guess.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“What Sonic _means_ ,” Knuckles said, shooting a scathing look to Sonic, “Is that this isn’t the first time someone cried on this couch. Shadow did, so did Blaze. So did lots of others. It’s nothing to be sorry for, chaos only knows what you have to deal with in your head.” He firmly laced his fingers with Meridian’s, not minding the blood drying on their fur. “We’re here to listen, you know. What’s on your mind now?” _ _ _ _ _ _

______Meridian bit their lip, and their eyes welled up with tears again. “I don’t… want to sound ungrateful. You’ve both done a lot for me…”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“It doesn’t matter. No one is happy to sleep on a twenty year old couch, you don’t have to pretend it doesn’t suck.” Knuckles shrugged._ _ _ _ _ _

______“That’s not… I meant that I miss home.” Meridian wiped their face on their arm since Knuckles was still holding their hands, then they shuddered. “I keep dreaming about it, I see it destroyed and it feels like it was my fault. I remember all the blood, and I choke on it.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“You did what you could, though.” Sonic patted their shoulder, still hugging them sideways. “You’d have died too, no one blames ya for leaving.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“I know, but I… I made so many mistakes, and I can’t fix them now. Everyone is dead and I can’t get back to them. I feel so guilty… and sad. I can’t…” Meridian gritted their teeth and stomped down the panic, trying to get all the gunk out at once. “I wanted to help Viola, I wanted to find my parents, but I… I missed out. I feel like I’m out of time, and I lost everything. Who cares that I’m alive? I have nothing left.” It felt like they were being bisected by razorblades again, and they wanted to hide their face, but Knuckles didn’t let go._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Nothing can replace what you’ve lost,” Knuckles said. “But hurting yourself won’t take you back, or help Viola, or find your parents. You feel all this guilt and shame for things that are out of your control. You didn’t ask for any of this to happen. Why do you need to blame yourself?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Because there’s no other way to make it right!” Meridian sobbed. They screwed their eyes shut tight against Sonic and Knuckles’ watchful eyes—because eye contact made it impossible to speak. It was so much easier if they could pretend the two of them couldn’t see Meridian’s shame. “It was… I always thought there would be more time, because I grew up with a different idea of time than everyone else. You don’t… time never had to pass for me, so I always put off doing things that scared me the most. I didn’t have parents to teach me, so I was selfish for a long time. I took other peoples’ time for granted, because… I had so much of it.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Meridian felt a comforting hand stroke their quills—probably Sonic, because Knuckles was still holding their hands, and it was Knuckles who replied again. “Hating and blaming yourself won’t make it right. Why are you holding onto it?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“... I don’t know,” Meridian replied sadly. “It feels like if I don’t, I’m rotten inside because I don’t care. That they died for... nothing. Shouldn’t their deaths mean something?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Of course it means something,” Knuckles told them. “And the fact that you care so much you’re blaming yourself _also_ means something. It’s normal, but you have to let it go now. You’re stuck.” _ _ _ _ _ _

______As much as they could with Knuckles holding onto their hands, Meridian clenched their fists and then gave voice to something they had never wanted to say aloud. “...No one else is around to care. I feel… like I _have_ to feel bad about it, I have to be guilty because I’m the only one left. I look around and see nothing but the ways I’ve failed everyone. This timeline exists because of me, and everything in it is… different, and I don’t recognize anyone in the city anymore. If I stop caring, all those people… everyone in my old timeline died and no one will remember them.” _ _ _ _ _ _

______Meridian felt Knuckles shake his head, while Sonic’s thumb stroked their shoulder in a soothing circle. “You don’t have to hang onto it like this. Remembering that it happened doesn’t mean you have to feel responsible for something you had nothing to do with. You can let it go, no one would blame you for that. You can heal, and be—”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“I can’t do anything!” Meridian almost shouted at him. They couldn’t seem to make Knuckles and Sonic understand a crucial detail. “Why can’t you just—give up on me? Give up on this? Don’t you realize all the horrible things I’ve done? Look around you!” They pulled away from Knuckles so forcefully that their wrists popped, trying to get him to let go, feeling trapped and claustrophobic._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I don’t belong here, this timeline doesn’t belong here! It’s—something crawls up my spine when I think about it, that something is wrong here. Like this timeline is going to collapse, like it’s vibrating out of existence—and it’s my fault if something happens to any of you. All I wanted was to get away from my timeline, but this one feels just as doomed as that one, and I don’t have an excuse anymore. I don’t know how to fix it. I’ve tried so hard to ignore it, to prove that I’m just trying to justify some kind of self-hate… but I can’t. Something is going to happen because of me.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Not because of you,” Knuckles corrected. He allowed Meridian to have their hands back, then stood up from his kneeling position. “You are what you make yourself. You want to see yourself as a monster because if you don’t, someone else will—and if you accept it, it can’t hurt when people think the same. The only problem is, you’re the only one who thinks you’re a monster, Meridian. You are the demon in your own head, dragging out every painful memory and searching for some way to blame yourself before someone does it for you.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______The words struck a chord with Meridian, and they found their eyes watering. “I’m sorry,” they whispered, wiping at their eyes. Knuckles was right—how could Meridian deny what he was saying, when he spoke with a tone that screamed he had been exactly where they were now?_ _ _ _ _ _

______“You don’t have anything to be sorry for,” Knuckles replied. “Just stop hurting yourself because you anticipate pain in a nebulous future—all you’re doing is ruining your life.” And then he leaned forward to wrap Meridian in a hug that prompted Sonic to join in also. He was pretty bad at feelings, but he was great at hugs, so Meridian was crushed on both sides by their kind arms. “Stop blaming yourself. You can’t start the healing process until you forgive yourself.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______It was hard for Meridian to put what they were feeling into words; it was like they were waiting for permission to let go of their guilt, and while they couldn’t shake the feeling that something else was wrong, they brushed it off. Instead, they cried on the couch with Sonic and Knuckles, until they were so tired that they fell asleep again._ _ _ _ _ _

______When they woke up (once more wincing at the semi-familiar feeling of crusted blood pulling against their fur), it was early in the afternoon and they could hear Sonic and Knuckles talking about something in the kitchen. Checking to make sure Sirel was safely in the playpen, Meridian left to poke their head in. “Mind if I take a shower?” They asked, yawning. They felt exhausted, and probably looked worse._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Go ahead,” Sonic shrugged. “I took mine last week,”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Sonic, you need to shower more than once a week.” Knuckles pinched the bridge of his nose. “Just because you don’t stink doesn’t mean you can forego the shower.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Instead of listening to the argument they’d heard every week for the last month, Meridian left to take their shower and wash the blood away. _Hopefully, this is the last time,_ Meridian thought to themselves after ten minutes of scrubbing; no sooner did they have the thought than another chill went up their spine despite the heat of the water, more awful than usual. Something was _wrong_ Deeply wrong, and the fear drove a spike into Meridian’s chest. _ _ _ _ _ _

______They turned off the water and grabbed their towel, trying to calm down by drying their quills. The shiver in their chest remained even while they left the bathroom. “Sonic? Knuckles? Is everything okay?” They called out. They half-expected that neither would answer, that they were alone again, that some catastrophe had wiped out their friends, until—_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Yeah? What’s up?” Sonic called back. He poked his head out of his bedroom. “You sound weird, you okay?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Sonic didn’t get lost in the trash mountain in his room,” Knuckles deadpanned from the kitchen. “Lucky us.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Normally the snide snipes would make Meridian at least smile a little, but not right now. “Something’s wrong. Not… not with me,” Meridian said, when the two of them seemed concerned. “Last night… I told you I kept getting a feeling. Something is wrong,” they repeated, bracing their hand against the wall, feeling as though they were going to collapse._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I’ll call Silver,” Sonic volunteered, already pulling out his cracked phone. “He can check on Blaze and Tails.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“I’ll call Rouge and she can check on Shadow.” Knuckles already had the phone to his ear. “If it’s nothing, it’s nothing. I don’t want to regret it if it’s something.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“What do you think is happening?” Sonic asked, while tapping his foot impatiently; Silver wasn’t picking up. Knuckles was speaking quietly into the phone, turned away from Meridian and Sonic so neither of them could hear._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I don’t know. It feels like… tiny threads pulling on my nerves,” Meridian said, gritting their teeth. “I don’t know,”_ _ _ _ _ _

______They were dimly aware of Knuckles relaying what they said to who they assumed was Rouge, but when Knuckles shoved the phone towards their face, he said “Shadow wants to talk to you.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______They took the phone with one shaky hand, then slid down the wall to sit on the floor. “Do you know what’s happening?” They said immediately. Sonic finally got through to Silver and was talking very fast, keeping one ear on Meridian._ _ _ _ _ _

______“No. Could you tell me how you’re feeling? Other than your nerves.” Shadow asked, and while from anyone else that would sound like concern, Meridian could tell Shadow was gathering information._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Like everything and nothing is happening,” Meridian said quietly. “Like something is really, really wrong. Like something bad is about to happen. Like I’m falling apart one thread at a time.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Well, that sounds like anxiety, but it would be foolish to believe it’s not more than that.” Shadow sounded like he was thinking really deeply. “Put me on speakerphone, so I can talk to Knuckles as well.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______After Meridian had done so, Shadow fired a question at Knuckles. “How likely is it that chaos energy could be closely related to Meridian’s powers?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Theoretically, it’s the reason they _have_ them.” Knuckles shrugged. “Chaos energy is infinitely expanding, and potentially why the multiple universes and timelines are possible. It’s like concentrated dark matter. Chaos energy is, I assume, why they can put a room in stasis and it remains stable, because something like ninety percent of the universe is dark matter.” _ _ _ _ _ _

______“So it stands to reason that chaos energy is also closely related to time dilation, if the energy is infinitely expanding. This is what would allow time travel?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Theoretically. That’s how they got to our timeline, while also creating it. Creating a wormhole and using that to enter another universe that was created a long time in the past, kind of like bending a piece of paper so the ends are closer together than they were and poking a hole in it. A shortcut.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“I think that since Meridian created the timeline—in theory—and they also use chaos energy, that they’re sensitive to chaos energy changing the timeline. We need to check on the chaos emeralds, Dr. Eggman—”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Doctor who?” Meridian interrupted, with another spike of fear. They thought of Dr. Bacillus and shuddered._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Eggman,” Knuckles answered. “He wants to steal the chaos emeralds, but he’s an idiot.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“It’s all happening again,” Meridian whispered. “Like it was meant to play out like this, no matter what I changed.” They dropped the phone onto the carpet and buried their face in their hands while Shadow said something angrily._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Hey, c’mon,” Sonic put his hand on Meridian’s shoulder. “Egghead is like, the most harmless villain ever.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“We thought Dr. Bacillus was harmless and he killed my entire timeline!” Meridian shouted angrily. “Because we didn’t take him seriously! This is the same story, the—it’s going to repeat no matter what I change in the timeline, isn’t it?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“We don’t know that,” Knuckles said. “Sonic and Shadow can use the chaos emeralds and fix whatever is going wrong, if it’s going wrong at all. It’s going to be okay.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Please take Dr. Eggman seriously,” Meridian said. They begged Knuckles with their eyes, pleading with their voice—cracking as they tried not to cry. “The doctor in our timeline made a plague that killed everyone, we thought he was a joke,”_ _ _ _ _ _

______There was a pause from everyone as they looked at the trembling, shaky Meridian. Finally, it was Shadow who shattered the silence. “They’re right. Eggman can be a threat. Don’t underestimate him, any of you. Grab your emerald and come over, I think Tails will have some ideas.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Feeling slightly more at ease, Meridian stood up and braced their hand against the wall again. “I’m going to check on Sirel, I’ll grab the emerald too.” Meridian told them, then dragged themself to the living room. Expecting they were going to be in the playpen, Meridian frowned to see they were on the floor next to the coffee table._ _ _ _ _ _

______If they were going to start climbing out, then they needed to block the top with a sheet or something… with a sigh, Meridian picked them up and cradled them in the crook of their arm, then bent over to grab the emerald from the table—except it wasn’t there._ _ _ _ _ _

______A nasty feeling played in the back of their mind. “... Sirel,” Meridian said, holding up the chao. They giggled and patted at Meridian’s hands, seeming fine—but Meridian could just barely see into their translucent body, and the shape of the cut emerald resting in their stomach._ _ _ _ _ _

______The tiny threads pulling at Meridian’s nerves seemed to intensify, and Meridian got the sick feeling that things were falling into place—in the worst possible way._ _ _ _ _ _

______With this new sensation came a new fear, and new knowledge collecting unbidden in their mind. Meridian didn’t know how they knew it, but they knew every single decision that fractured the timeline was making things more and more splintered. Both the timeline—and Meridian—were unstable creations, and every single decision that created a new universe based off of this one was exponentially more unstable. They were sure of it, down to their bones; even more chilling was the final revelation._ _ _ _ _ _

______The timeline was going to collapse._ _ _ _ _ _


	7. The Nature Of Reality

When the shock wore off, Meridian ran to the kitchen, too scared to make decisions—scared of every single new fragment they could create, feeling in every nerve of their body that everything was the wrong move. They relayed every revelation to Knuckles, Sonic, and Shadow, and as unbelievable as it was, they knew by the tone of Meridian’s voice that they were deadly sure about what they were saying. 

There was a flurry of action when they were done; it was decided they needed Tails, fast, and they couldn’t wait for him to finally answer the phone—because he’d yet to pick up, though Blaze had been trying. Holding Sirel close to them, Meridian left the apartment behind Knuckles and Sonic, with an icy pit settling in their stomach. They sensed something bad was going to happen before they could get to Tails’ place, and it dawned on Meridian that these predictions were likely a new power manifesting—and they didn’t know why. There was no other explanation for how they _knew_ things were going to happen, as sure as they knew their own name.

Of all the times to be hyper-cognizant of the future… they hated it. They hated feeling in every frayed nerve of their body the pain and terror of what the future held, when they didn’t even know what it was. They clutched Sirel tightly to their chest and walked faster. 

It could have been their imagination, but the busy streets seemed… emptier, somehow. Fewer people milling around among the tall buildings; even fewer colors than normal. It was unsettling, and they felt naked out in the open like this. They almost felt like the sky should be going dark for no reason, even though it was a bright, sunny day. 

Halfway to Tails’ place, they got their wish. A shadow passed overhead, and the three of them looked up, shielding their eyes against the sun—and Meridian’s heart dropped. 

It was big, round, and shiny silver metal with black and yellow reflective tape that was hard to look at with the sun reflecting off of it. Riding inside of it, behind a glass window, was a fat man with a bushy mustache. 

“Get out of here, Egghead!” Sonic shouted at the machine, and it dipped even lower. Meridian was whispering no to themselves, over and over, holding Sirel tightly. The adrenaline spike was nothing short of painful, making their already tight nerves unravel. 

“Now, why would I go and do a thing like that when your friend here has been kind enough to hand-deliver me a chaos emerald?” Eggman cackled, leering at Meridian and Sirel. “Hand it over, hedgehog.” 

“I don’t have it,” Meridian lied boldly, as Sirel hid their face against Meridian’s chest fluff. 

“Don’t lie to me,” Eggman said nastily. “The chaos energy on you is off the charts! Give me that emerald, and quickly.” His machine drifted forward, towards them, but Knuckles reeled back and punched the metal, leaving a big dent and sending Eggman flying back a few meters. Sonic curled up in a ball and moved so fast Meridian couldn’t even see him anymore, but now there was another sizeable dent in the metal, a loud CLANG, and a bit more distance between them and Eggman’s machine. A shower of sparks painted the pavement in front of them. 

“Well if that’s how you want to play...” He slammed his fist down on a button while Meridian backed away with Sirel; not fast enough, a cartoonish gloved hand shot out from a hatch in the metal and punched Meridian in the face. They fell to the ground, rolling and dropping Sirel in the process, making the chao start to cry on the ground. “I’ll take _that_ ,” Eggman said, and the hand scooped them up. “You can have this back when you learn to share.” 

Sirel’s screams of fright echoed in Meridian’s ears, and they felt like they were going to faint at the sound of it. Everything was loud and quiet at the same time, and the heavy feeling that something irrevocably _wrong_ just happened had Meridian dry-vomiting on the ground. Had they been concussed? They heard either Sonic or Knuckles call their name, but the two of them may as well have been lightyears away. 

Until, at least, one more of Sirel’s screams pierced through to them and they snapped out of it as Eggman’s machine rose above them. The consuming _need_ to save Sirel had Meridian get to their feet and act on pure instinct. Leaving Sonic and Knuckles behind, Meridian whipped out their skates and determinedly sliced through the pavement, aiming for an alley between two buildings. They jumped towards the wall and bounced back and forth, wall jumping on either building. Their skates held their momentum as what they knew must be chaos energy now, making it easy to scale the sides. 

Upon reaching the top, they took off across the rooftops, jumping over hooded roof fans and across the gaps between businesses. The singular thought in their mind played on loop, _get Sirel, get Sirel, everything will collapse if you don’t **get Sirel**_ , and it drove them faster than Eggman could fly with his malfunctioning machine. They tried to put it in time stasis, but it must have been reinforced with something that stopped chaos energy from interfering… 

So instead, Meridian took a flying leap onto it, grabbing the side and wrenching themselves up in a smooth twisting motion. They landed on the balls of their feet, fuming and sending the machine off-balance. “Ready to give me that emerald?” Eggman asked, mustache twisting. His hand was on the same button he’d hit that shot the hand out, and as Meridian took another step forward, he held up one finger on his other hand. “Tsk tsk,” Eggman tsked, wagging it at them. “One more step and I drop the chao. It would be unfortunate indeed to see such an innocent creature splattered on the pavement.” 

The thought did give Meridian pause. They hadn’t thought this far—how in the hell were they going to get Sirel? Thinking fast, they said “The emerald is in the chao, I swear. I don’t have anything, just don’t drop them, please. They ate it this morning.” 

“Hmm. Do you think I’m an idiot?” Eggman snapped. “What a ridiculous scenario.” His free hand hit a different button and he muttered under his breath, as another hand shot out to grab Meridian tightly, crushing their arms to their sides. “But I suppose I can check, then flatten you both. The only good hedgehog is a dead one.” He made a fist, like he was demonstrating how he would crush Meridian, then tapped on a panel while Meridian struggled. 

Sirel gave a cry as the hand stretched out to drop them inside the machine with both Meridian and Eggman. With a pang that almost turned to indescribable panic, Meridian saw Sirel was bleeding a gelatinous fluid and crying; the idea that Sirel was _bleeding_ felt world-ending in their fraying nerves. Before Eggman could do anything else, Meridian had phased through the hand holding them hostage and scooped up Sirel; in the back of their mind, it registered that they had just done exactly what they had been trying to do for Viola, to get him out of that crystal. Something they had never been able to do consciously. Until now. 

Meridian jumped towards the gloved hand that had previously been holding Sirel and used it to hang on and dangle outside of the machine, muscles screaming with strain while Eggman shouted angrily and started to hit buttons furiously; Meridian could see Sonic and Knuckles below them, too far for comfort. They were at least three stories below Meridian... 

Then the metal holding them up detached from the machine in a shower of sparks, while Eggman howled and yanked on his mustache in anger. Almost slow motion, Meridian saw him angrily slam a fist down on the metal, punching it for malfunctioning at such a crucial time. Then time sped up and they were falling, falling— 

They had just enough time to cocoon Sirel in their arms before they hit something softer than pavement with a hollow thud. 

~~~

When Meridian woke up, everything hurt. Not only were their nerves screaming in pain, but they felt bruised from head to toe, and unable to shake the feeling that something was deeply, deeply wrong. Blindly, they felt around and rolled out of the bed they were in, not registering fully that they knew this room. Eyes closed, they puked on the floor and crawled to the door, then used the handle to help themselves stand up. 

Punch drunk, Meridian staggered out the door and down the stairs to where they heard talking, wanting to scream out a warning. Looking like hell, Meridian fell into the sitting room where Sonic, Knuckles, Rouge, Sirel, and Shadow were. 

“That was quite a fall—” Rouge started, beaming at them, but Meridian could only look at Sirel in Shadow’s arms as the feeling that they needed to vomit crawled up their throat again. 

“Everything hurts,” Meridian whispered, and the others’ in the room glanced at each other.

“I think you’re entitled to feel like garbage when you just almost died,” Sonic said casually. “You fell what, forty feet? Shadow barely had time to catch you, he came in clutch with that chaos control. Take a few days off, ya earned it.” 

“Not that, it’s not—it’s like dying over and over, I’m gonna—” they leaned over and puked again, amid shocked yelling and the sound of everyone moving in one flurry of motion; they didn’t realize why until they opened their eyes and saw they had puked up a fountain of blood, much like the day Knuckles had found them. “Sirel—”

“Sirel is fine, you need a doctor.” Shadow shifted the chao to his hip and tried to help Meridian stand, but they reached out and sunk a hand inside Sirel’s stomach, grabbing the emerald on autopilot and ripping it out. The chao only seemed disgruntled, but everyone else seemed horrified—especially when Meridian held a hand to their face, keeping in obvious blood-puke. They threw the emerald on the table, swallowed the blood, and snatched Sirel away from Shadow, then placed them on the floor far away from everyone else, not knowing why that was the right thing to do, but knowing in their bones that it was. 

They fiercely gripped their quills and tried to articulate properly. “Who—people are dying,” Meridian backed away from their friends, who looked concerned and scared; even Shadow showed a glimmer of fear, like Meridian was a rabid animal locked in the room with them. 

“Who is dying?” Rouge asked carefully, advancing slowly on Meridian with her hand outstretched. “Sonic, could you be a dear and call for help?” 

“Everyone is dying,” Meridian said, shaking like a leaf while Sonic ran out of the room to call someone on his phone. “It’s—blood, I brought it with me, I’m immune,” 

“What do you mean?” She asked kindly. Meridian didn’t answer this time, trying to put the pieces together, so it wasn’t quite so disjointed. Their eyes slid to Sirel, and the large bandage on their chest. A memory from a month ago percolated in their head. 

_“They absorb toxins through their skin, like an amphibian,”_ Cream had said. The fire in Meridian’s nerves was telling them it was important. Blood, blood… it told them for everyone infected, there would be blood. Infected with Meridian’s worst nightmare, and they would pay for every lost life. 

Finally the pieces fell in place. “Sirel was asymptomatic,” Meridian whispered in horror. “The day I got here… I threw up blood because there was one infected. Sirel. Now there’s…. more?” They looked horrified at the words coming out of their mouth, like it was someone else saying it, like someone else had put it together while Meridian was still back on square one. “Sirel’s blood—” 

“Rouge, Knuckles, get away from them,” Shadow snapped, but Knuckles had caused a slight diversion by getting a nosebleed. He brought a hand up to his nose, touching it gently, shocked at the red that came away on his glove. “Quarantine, now. I’ll find a cure.” Shadow’s features hardened. 

“It was always a doomed timeline,” Meridian said quietly, hoarsely. “It’s going to collapse unless we can stabilize it.” 

“Then I’ll stabilize it with the chaos emeralds. None of you are to leave, are we clear? If this infection gets out of this house, everyone is dead.” His voice was harsher than normal. 

“You can’t do it.” And though Meridian had no idea how they knew that was fact, it just _was_. As surely as they knew the timeline was collapsing, they were just as sure that they were the only one who could fix it, and they didn’t know why. “I have to.” 

“You’re not leaving this house,” Shadow reiterated. Meridian glanced down at the emerald on the table for a split second, but Shadow’s eyes followed theirs and put together exactly what Meridian was thinking. Just as he darted for the emerald, Meridian used their powers to put everyone in the room in stasis. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” they whispered over and over. Their world was ending, because of Meridian. They grabbed the emerald and left, feeling it pull them towards the emeralds in this timeline, like a magnet. They didn’t stop to talk to Sonic, who had no idea what just happened, and they hoped by the time he figured it out Meridian would be long gone. 

With their skates on, Meridian let the emerald pull them through unknown streets, letting the wind whip the tears from their face. They wished the fall had killed them, they wished they’d died in their own timeline like they were supposed to. They wished so many things, even as the emerald led them off the end of a pier and onto the ocean. Meridian skated easily on the water, leaving the shore behind in the quiet nothing. 

How could it be so peaceful and beautiful while the world was ending? 

Over the roar of the waves, Meridian heard a different, more metallic roar, and they glanced behind them to see Tails and Sonic on the Tornado. “You have to let me fix this or everyone is going to die!” Meridian shouted at them, speeding up. 

“Bringing that emerald to the others is more likely to blow up the universe!” Tails shouted back. “You don’t _know_ the disease is here, and this will _definitely_ kill us all—” 

“Don’t do this, Meridian!” Sonic yelled. 

Heart heavy, Meridian gripped the emerald tightly. They had never done this before, but it couldn’t be too difficult, right…? They focused on using chaos control, leaving Tails and Sonic behind; then they did it again, and again, and again, until a small island was in sight. 

Before Tails and Sonic could catch up, Meridian staggered onto the island and found the shrine with the emeralds floating peacefully. They still weren’t sure how to do this, but… they were being driven by a force that was not them, now. On autopilot again, Meridian raised the trembling hand with the emerald up to the bright green master emerald. “Please… let me fix this,” Meridian said, touching theirs to the master emerald. 

The moment they touched, Meridian hit their knees and screamed, long and loud as an eternity with their face pressed into the master emerald. They felt chaos energy rip through their veins, and begged to be ripped apart. 

~~

It rose to the ethereal, its body made of the sand of the universe itself, like a purple mist swirling around it like so many stars. It stretched one long, long arm, feeling the pleasant burn, like it had been sedentary for eons and could just now stand up and stretch. Purple sand cascaded from its exposed ribs, clinging to its hands and arms like the lifesblood of a universe. 

It could not see, but it saw everything. A life in each grain, a decillion lives in one hand. Trails of lives pulling like puppet strings down and up, invisible threads with countless timelines. Among planets, galaxies, universes, it saw every decision that had, has, or would be made, from every living being in its hands. 

It felt discomfort, for the first time. It felt something fight beneath its ribs, as it claimed its birthright as chaos incarnate. Meridian clawed their way into every molecule and fought the dulling impassivity with desperate desire. Nothing would or could stop them from interfering with themselves, not even itself.

They sought timelines; so many, with so many different versions of every living being, and as they looked, it dawned on them that while there were infinite versions of everyone else… there was only one Meridian. Alone in every universe. Every timeline. There could only be one. They were not afforded the luxury of many. They saw their past, present, and future; every moment. They were not even born, they were created, dying and awakening anew from chaos energy. 

Meridian could taste their timeline. The dead one, the one full of blood, and beneath the blank façade Meridian was horrified; it was so much worse than they imagined. Death and rot permeated the timeline, poisoning it, and they recoiled. 

In their other hand they tasted their new timeline, the one they created, and saw the fractured and bleeding ends as it frantically tried to heal from its hemorrhaging branching body. It was dying, unhealthy, uncontrolled. Too full of chaos to do anything but writhe in pain until its convulsions killed everything inside, so it could die. 

Two timelines dead in their own rights, surrounded by an infinite amount of other timelines. It wanted to remove both of them—they were useless, unnecessary, unneeded in the ebb and flow of time. 

Meridian fought themselves, turned their attention back to the timelines that were important to them, and impartial to it. They sought their old timeline, wanting to know what went wrong, wanting to heal what had been broken. 

It tasted a single grain of life, and in the short span of fifty years, it watched Dr. Bacillus. It felt no pity, but they did. They watched the newborn grow into a toddler, who was sold to those with scalpels, not scruples. Every disgusting disease that could be given to a human being was merged into the fabric of every cell in his body, leaving the charred, skeletal husk of a mottled man who wanted nothing but payment by blood. With the death of the timeline, he had gotten his wish. 

It would not misuse its powers, but they would. Gently, they blew on the grain, taking another short fifty years to change his life. Disease was replaced with love, pain with morality, until someone new had been shaped into the man that would become Dr. Bacillus—not a husk, but an empathetic man who only wished to eradicate disease. 

Meridian felt the death knell of the new timeline, watched it bleeding out, and it would not misuse its powers, but Meridian gently slid the old timeline atop the new one, as though it were a fish they were returning to the water. The two grafted and twisted together, mating into an entirely new world where contagion did not spell death. Their old timeline stopped convulsing and pulsing, slowly sinking in to what it had always been, and would always be.

Selfishly, Meridian sought out the scattering memories of their friends and gently replaced each and every one, not wanting to be forgotten, not wanting to start over again. Hoping beyond hope to return some day, and earn their peace. 

It waited an eon for them to leave, but there was one last thing to do, and finally Meridian knew what they wanted at last. They sifted through sand and found the one they needed, cradling it gently, and tasted a name that had never been so sweet. Viola. They watched her life to the last, woefully short second, and then watched it again, and again. Committing to memory the vestige of Viola, and every moment they had spent together. 

Gently, they blew, erasing each moment in turn, until he had not a single, haunting memory of his love that had killed him. Fresh, unadulterated by time’s arrow, and beautifully alive from the shock of white hair, to the too-many arms, to her many eyes. She would live, and be spared the pain of chaos.

Having fulfilled every selfish need, they plead to go back home; it obliged, and let themselves go, then blankly began to sift through the sands of chaos once more, a being of incomprehension that Meridian knew was the real Meridian.

~~

Meridian did not wake up for a week. Despite their slow, even breathing, their friends worried about a possible coma; the only reason they hadn’t taken them to the hospital yet was because they didn’t know where the _hell_ the hospital was—one second everything was Chroma city, and then the next it was a literal concrete jungle full of buildings and chao gardens, and no one but Sonic and his friends even recognized that anything was different, no matter how many people they asked. 

They resigned themselves to asking Meridian what the fuck happened—if they were going to wake up at all. Whatever they did, it had wiped out the disease though, and everything was okay. 

Knuckles had carried Meridian outside, in the hopes that the sunshine would wake them up, but it seemed hopeless—until Meridian stirred and sat up after a few hours, groggy from their eons in space. 

“Scared us half to death,” Knuckles said gruffly, shooting a group text to tell their friends Meridian was okay. “Are you okay?” 

“I’m great,” Meridian said, elated. They didn’t feel like everything was collapsing in on them, for once. They felt like they knew their purpose, they knew who they were. They knew everything, even as the sands of chaos sifted away, leaving no memory of the future; only the past remained. 

“What happened?”

“I’ll tell you later. All of you.” Meridian stood up and stretched, moaning a little bit as their bones cracked and popped. “Man, it feels good to stretch. How long was I out?” 

“About a week.” Knuckles shrugged. “Everything changed pretty fast. One second we were going to the hospital, and the next everything was different. Whatever you did worked.” 

“Feels like I was out for a lot longer,” Meridian said, smiling a little and looking up—feeling a flutter of excitement at seeing the familiar railing above their heads. “I think I merged my timeline with yours, and now everything is okay.” 

“I guess that makes as much sense as it can make,” Knuckles deadpanned. “You’ll have to let me know how you did that, just in the case of emergency,” 

“Like I said, I’ll tell you later. I want to take you somewhere.” They grabbed Knuckles by the hand and dragged them towards the street, getting more and more excited as they recognized things from home; their feet found the familiar path towards the aquarium they loved so much. 

It wasn’t until Meridian got close that they saw a familiar shock of whitish-blue hair, and four arms waving at someone who looked a lot like Marmalade skating on the rails above them. 

They looked at Knuckles. “How do you feel about being my wingman?” 

“Well, it’s not like I’ve got anything better to do today.” 

Shaking their head, Meridian grinned and pulled Knuckles towards Viola, knowing there was nothing to fear; this time would be different. This time, Meridian wouldn’t run and hide from her. This time, they would do it right.

This time, Meridian knew exactly who they were.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that's the end! Finally, a happy ending is possible! :) It took me a lot of blood and sweat to write this story, because it very closely parallels my real life - as weird as that sounds! It's cathartic, in a way, being able to fix the timeline and do it "right" now. 
> 
> I hope the ending was as satisfying for you as it was for me. Thank you so much to anyone who has read this far, and stuck with it.

**Author's Note:**

> This universe takes bits and pieces from various forms of Sonic media, and as such is totally non-canon! It's mostly rooted in old Sonic Adventure 1 & 2 lore, though. And yes, Meridian uses they/them pronouns! 
> 
> An extra bonus for those of you who read the end notes: I drew Dr. Bacillus! I had a whole thing planned to write his origin story, but it doesn't fit in _this_ story. Here it is, only partly clearned up (as I drew it in my notebook, which is lined).  
> https://i.imgur.com/IGH9jE9.png
> 
> Second bonus, Meridian taking in this new urban metropolis that's so different from their old world: https://i.imgur.com/nAprO4G.png  
> 


End file.
